Wednesday, January 2, 2008

The Bucs Are In The Playoffs? Cool. But I Can't Fit In Those Seats!


NFC 4th Seed -- Tampa Bay Buccaneers (9-7)

I'm so happy the Bucs are in the playoffs. But if they think I'm heading to that stadium on Sunday, they're drinking crazy juice! I can't fit in those seats! The armrests are way too rigid. I need them to have some give. And lots of my Tampa-area friends agree. We were just talking about it the other night while dining at Houlihan's. We're not European, you know. A 20 1/2" wide seat isn't gonna cut it, Buccies!

Plus, the stadium is so big! I can't walk all those long concourses! They have mild inclines! No thank you, sir! Catwalks make me dizzy! They confiscated my inhaler last time. I nearly choked on my own larynx.

So I'm super happy you're in the playoffs, Bucs. But no way I'm making it to the game. Take heart, men. I'll be cheering you on from my orthopedic chair!

17 comments:

the Associated Dress said...

It's a man, baby!

That shit ain't right. You upload that image, I give you a decade old quote in return.

TurleyGirlie said...

As a Saints fan...this makes me beyond happy. Thank you, BDD.


Let's hope Elisha can pull a win out of his ass.

the great bambi said...

i doubt any bucs fans, or giants fans for that matter, will be at the stadium saturday since the game isn't until sunday...

ok, douchebaggery over now

Big Daddy Drew said...

FUCK.

Fixed it.

Richard said...

Love the Shiny Pants tag.

Upstate Underdog said...

I'm guessing that the girl in that picture does not dance at Mons Venus.

5150 said...

See you in hell.

Love,

5150

Barry said...

Jesus, Allstot really let himself go.

Harry Ballzana said...

I see camel-toe!

the great bambi said...

camel toe...more like...elephant toe...BURN

Barry said...

Camel Hoof

Grimey said...

Quick, someone remind her that there's a Carvel stand in the stadium....

Otto Man said...

The Mangold parents are going to be really torn if the Jets ever play the Bucs.

JAMMQ said...

Hey BDD, don't you watch games in an orthopedic chair?

shouldBworkin said...

Who's the tiny dude attempting and apparent fist job?

Reasonable Doubt for a Reasonable Price said...

That may or may not be Bubba the Love Sponge.

But damn if it doesn't look like 90% of the Bay Area.

pain-ther fan said...

@ turleygirlie

A win is not the only Elisha would have to pull out of his ass. But I sure hope the Giants beat the Bucs.