Monday, January 14, 2008

The Manning Family Gets Double Stuffed, Eli Licks Up the Cream

Is it possible that the Manning family is growing tired of all this football business? Well now that Eli has overtaken Peyton as the dominant brother under center the whole family is poised for a move in a whole new direction.



So what could this second sport be? The obvious answer would be squash, but that would hardly help to reestablish Peyton as the family alpha dog. Here's a clue to get you started...


DSRL you say? It sounds like some sort of brand new learning disability that only exists within the mushy brains of children reared by first cousins. Peyton and Eli certainly are the ideal posterboys for such an affliction, but no. Yet the truth is even sadder...

LICK THAT CREAM! LICK THAT CREAM!


Yep, the entire Manning family has signed on for another endorsement deal. It's about fucking time! There are only so many times (1,674 to be exact) that I can watch Peyton's Priceless Peptalks on my DVR. Now I get to look forward to a whole ad campaign centering around the idea of the Manning brothers racing to lick the cream out of cookies at breakneck speed. The best news of all is that you get to participate as well!

Sign up for the contest through the Nabisco website and you could find yourself in a stadium with a guest of your choosing along with the Manning family and an the official Oreo Mascot!


The winner and his or her guest will get to engage in a licking contest of their own with the dynamic pitchmen. If you're lucky enough to beat Peyton and Eli you'll qualify for the grand prize! Sit back and watch as the brothers give the old "double-stuff" treatment to lovely Olivia while you lick up all the tangy cream that runs down her leg.

Enjoy your breakfast everyone, and remember to eat your Oreos!



19 comments:

Big Daddy Drew said...

I confess: that ad made me laugh.

quiet strength said...

Wow...the league logo is just special. The ticker has some great quotes too: "Been practicing your twist, lick, and dunk?" and "Eli bruises thumb in intense dunk move..."

I was also expecting Maj to mention his Wizards' ass kicking of Boston.

The Pirate Sloth said...

Think the Mannings would be up for some airtight fun after the game?

Otto Man said...

Michael Steele did not appreciate the Gumbel picture.

Gourmet Spud said...

I always thought they would do endorsements for Cream Wafers: White on the outside, even whiter on the inside.

Five Pound Bag said...

you need DSL's to succeed in the DSRL... I think Brady Quinn has to be picked #1.

Matt said...

Gumbel over Halle Berry? For shame, maj.

My Insignificant Life said...

I cannot wait for the DSRL Fantasy League to begin.

/no idea why, just sayin

Christmas Ape said...

Peyton: You know, Eli, they say the cream always rises to the top.

Eli: Then why's it running down the back of my leg?

Derrick said...

Do you think Eli went to Archie and whined "Dad, make Peyton put me a commercial."

Crazy Little Thing said...

Pey-Pey has spooge on his chin.

lieutenant winslow said...

(fuck you blogger if this double posts)

but... in my club, i v'eel splash the pot... vhenever the fuckh i please

Jelly B. Good said...

Eli: haha Peyton, I won and you lost..

Peyton: oh why don't you just lick my Yooble...

Slash said...

Man, truck stop hookers have more dignity.

mamacita said...

Bryant Gumbel says it takes one to know one, Maj.

futuremrsrickankiel said...

...the Aristocrats!

Jelly B. Good said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jelly B. Good said...

I know it's cruel to kick a PeyPey when he's down, but LT says "kickkickkickkickkickkick..."

my goal in life is to respond to blog comments two or three days after everyone has stopped reading the original post so that I can sit in my grammy's basement and laugh at how funny I am to me... heehhehhhehhheeeeeeeeee

Robocats said...

futuremrsrickankiel nailed it

....so what do you call this act?