Sunday, January 20, 2008

"C'mon Greg. Quit Doddlin'. Time to Run the Next Play."

Greg Jennings: Gat dammit Brett, put me down! I'm not hurt, I can walk fine, you woollyheaded man-child.

Brett Favre: I won't hear it! We're going downfield and I'm not leaving you behind.

There comes a time in every quarterback's career where he has to take his team on his back, Greg. Now's that time for me. The wind's to my back again. Me and Father Time done reached an understanding that I'm on borrowed time. I have the renewed purpose of a man who knows to value his days. To make it count, what little life I have left.

Greg Jennings: Man, you're not dying. You'll just have to retire someday.

Brett Favre: See, that's thing: the day I retire will be my last on this mortal coil. Madden and I already have the murder-suicide planned out. I couldn't do that, that life of the former QB, becoming some yammering old coot. My boyish heart of a champion couldn't live in a dried-up old vessel.

And I couldn't deal with Deanna. Damn, that bitch is annoying.

19 comments:

Jason said...

They will bury Favre in the ice under Lambeau until sometime in the distant future when humanity will need to thaw him out to battle a blond haired Wesley Snipes.

futuremrsrickankiel said...

Would never have nitpicked on the Shakespeare had I known you were coming off the ignominy of being kicked out of a Pats bar by asshole Pats fans... I feel like I share in the guilt.

rocksolid said...

Will Elisha's drool turn to icicles?

Punch Rockgroin said...

He will be preserved and studied for future scientists to determine what, if any, nutrients can be extracted for our personal use.

allie said...

okay, what was up with the packers fan with the dead animal on his head? did he hit it on the way to the game and then decide to wear it as a hat?

Tech N9ne's Tribute to Falco said...

Oooh, Plaxico you just got Atari'd the fuck out.

/waiting to say that all season

futuremrsrickankiel said...

Hey, I heard it was really cold in Green Bay today. I'm surprised the announcers haven't mentioned something about it yet.

Babydaddy said...

Can a brother get a pass interference call? Fuck you, Wisconsin refs.

SlideShow Bob said...

Hed be better off dead if being a former QB means doing those terrible NFL Network commercials, For shame Montana.

Babydaddy said...

"The streets of downtown Green Bay are empty." That's probably because of the game, or just because IT'S GREEN FUCKING BAY. Not that happening on the average Sunday night. Or any other night.

Otto Man said...

I'm watching the game with my wife, and she suddenly turns to me and says, "I don't know what it is, but Eli Manning just seems like a fucking pussy."

Sorry, boys. She's taken.

Jackin'4Beats said...

Congrats otto man. My wife watches football as religiously as I do too. It's great ain't it?

No prissy chicks wanted.

Tech N9ne's Tribute to Falco said...

But his hands are cold and I'm pretty sure he's wearing a Wilco long sleeve t-shirt.

futuremrsrickankiel said...

I think that's a Dashboard Confessional shirt, actually.

Greg said...

Apperntly Terry Bradshaw took too many shots to the head to remember to talk into the mic or maybe he was just staring at Howie Long's hat. Christ if it was red and black check he would be confused for a Canadian.

Chris said...

Wait a minute. What did I miss? When/how did the holiday primate get thrown out of a bar by a band of Massholes? Damnit. Wish I would have known there would have been trouble. I would have drove the 3 hours to Alexandria to assist my Black & Gold brother.

I would donate a kidney if it would somehow guarantee that the favorite team of racist, obnoxious, Massholes everywhere would lose in Arizona.

Chris said...

*driven. Sorry, I should really slow down on the Johnny Walker before commenting.

Jason said...

Regarding the Green Bay cornerbacks: You would think that wet paper towels would freeze in that weather.

Babydaddy said...

Holy fucking shit.