Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Prognosticating With Plaxico


Easily the worst part of the Super Bowl is the ceaseless stream of predictions that flood the airwaves and clog the intertubes. Everybody has an opinion this time of year, whether they are a professed expert or some guy in your office who's breadth of knowledge comes from what they heard on the easy listening station. Nobody really cares about these predictions, but we recognize everyone's right to offer up an entirely subjective final score. Well now the players themselves are joining in on the fun.

And then, as he entered the stadium and turned left toward the Giants locker room, Burress was asked for his prediction. Burress never hesitated, flatly stating "23-17."


So there you have it, Giants win!

With that issue settled we sat down with Plaxico to hear some of his other insightful predictions. We'll let him tell you what he thinks...

I like Dukakis by ten electoral votes.

The Grenadines will hold their ground.

Disco is here to stay!

There's an Oscar in Tom Green's future.

Roe v. Wade? It's Wade all day, baby!

We'll be in and out of Baghdad in no time.

TBL will earn a Pulitzer for his interviewing skills.

Asbestos is the building block of our future.

Hitch your wagon to Marcy Playground's rising star!

People will be talking about Brad Renfro's death for years to come.

Google's stock isn't going anywhere.

NWA will be together forever.

Can't go wrong with sub-prime mortgages.

Newspapers are a never-ending growth industry.

Bhutto wins in a landslide.

Fred Thompson has that Republican nomination locked up.

Prop Joe will bring order to the drug trade, you'll see.

You'll never hear a word about Leitch's book.

Reggie Nelson will be impressed by this post.

The Maj's television debut will go off without a hitch.

Jerramy Stevens really just needs another chance.

George Foreman will get his belt back.

Dan Snyder will figure it all out.

Drew will be very agreeable about Super Bowl party plans.

Did you see Britney shaved her head? She really can't sink any lower, huh?

That Amy Winehouse is gonna pull it together one day.

The Great Bambi won't comment on this thread.

Also, Patriots 31-21, just to be safe.


Thanks Plax!

51 comments:

quiet strength said...

Louis XVI may be off to a rough start, but they'll call him the greatest king ever by the time he leaves the throne.

futuremrsrickankiel said...

I predict that within 100 years, computers will be twice as powerful, 10,000 times larger, and so expensive that only the five richest kings of Europe will own them.

Could it be used for dating?

Well, theoretically, yes. But the computer matches would be so perfect as to eliminate the thrill of romantic conquest...

Upstate Underdog said...

The Red Sox won't win a World Series in my lifetime.

peter king crowned my ass said...

After all of that, he dropped his crystal ball in the end zone.

the great bambi said...

HD-DVD? Wave of the future.

the great bambi said...

The Soviets and Cold War are just a reality of life we have to get used to.

the great bambi said...

After giving him with the Sudatenland, we have nothing to worry about from an appeased Hitler.

Cousins of Ron Mexico said...

Sure he can guess the score of a football game, but Nostradamus knew about 9-11.

- Reggie Nelson

I'm in a Frat said...

Alot of these sound like they came from Peter King.

Clock Cleaner said...

Fuck.

hi there mary said...

No woman will ever want to be with a man who hugs baby goats.

Upstate Underdog said...

thanks UM.

Christmas Ape said...

Caveman will be very cool with Bambi's excessive commenting.

Guiness319 said...

No way Clemens will be named in the Mitchell report...

peter king crowned my ass said...

Save us, Naptown Drew.

Who am I, and what do I do? said...

To be fair, Plax didn't specify who actually wins!

The Lazer said...

After playing Nordberg, nothing can stop OJ's rising star.

smurphette said...

The rate at which bambi comments will directly reflect how much he gets laid.

Cousins of Ron Mexico said...

@who am i - He didn't have to.

quiet strength said...

@mrs. - +1

dick_gozinia said...

OJ will find the real killers.

SlideShow Bob said...

Not Prop Joe, noooooooooo!

Rick said...

This Monica Lewinsky story is going to be swept under the rug.

Cousins of Ron Mexico said...

The money is just going to roll in once There Will Be Blood is released.

Grimey said...

censorship ain't cool

Hey! Finally a good one from bambi!

Guiness319 said...

Waterworld is going to thrust Kevin Costner to the top of the action genre

Rant_Casey said...

Elisha won't turn back into a pumkin right before our eyes on Super Bowl Sunday

Sexual Tyrannosaurus said...

The Euro is a passing fad. Go long on the dollar.

Clock Cleaner said...

awesome, bambi's comments have, for the most part, been erased

Otto Man said...

"This year, I invested in pumpkins. They've been going up the whole month of October and I got a feeling they're going to peak right around .... January.

"Then, bang! That's when I'll cash in."

BeckEye said...

Nothing like a well-placed Marcy Playground reference to snap me out of my mid-day doldrums!

shouldBworkin said...

"Go ahead, borrow all you want against your house. We're due for a looooong run-up in real estate values, besides rates are cheeeeeeep. Remodel, put in a pool, hell add on!"

Fuck. Me.

wv: cupsgin

Thanks and thanks! I really needed two.

EddieSpaghetti said...

Why are we still waiting for a Super Bowl prediction from Bill Belichick's cold sore?

http://ballhype.com/story/bill_belichick_has_herpes/

C'mon!

Tech N9ne's Tribute to Falco said...

Eli won't attempt suicide after losing the Super Bowl.

naptown drew said...

That chick I picked up on Craigslist promised me she's a real girl, and she's way into anal. Perfect!

naptown drew said...

The Latinos would have much more respect for our immigration laws if we would just reintroduce slavery.

naptown drew said...

The new wave of plastic surgery: prosthetic vestigial tails.

naptown drew said...

Convicted pedophiles will one day be the only ones allowed to judge beauty pageants. They have an underappreciated talent as far as I'm concerned.

naptown drew said...

Gillette Stadium will never bring back the "coloreds only" bathrooms and drinking fountains.

fallex said...

Bobby Petrino will build a legacy with the Atlanta Falcons that won't soon be forgotten.

naptown drew said...

All that's missing from Lifetime TV movies is more explosions.

naptown drew said...

An expansion team in Mexico is just the shot in the arm the NHL needs.

naptown drew said...

Gun safety class will soon replace Home Economics in our middle schools.

John said...

Whoa, whoa, whoa....

Is Naptown Drew actually Bambi in disguise?

naptown drew said...

We...I mean I...don't know what you're talking about.

naptown drew said...

Blackface: the tan of the future.

naptown drew said...

The sequel to Schindler's List will become the highest grossing comedy movie of all time.

naptown drew said...

Semen will one day be an omnipresent ingredient in cosmetics, as the Asians involved in bukakke have such wonderful skin.

naptown drew said...

The fashion industry won't sleep on the potential boon of designer adult diapers much longer.

spp said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rus said...

Yeah, small problem here, Plax was not only right but he actually gave NE Too Much Credit. So, hmm, maybe he actually knew what he was talking about.