Tuesday, January 22, 2008

KSK Celebrity Pickkake: Stephen Hawking

This asshole does nothing but pick winners.

The celebrity Super Bowl pick is a time-honored tradition, one we at KSK are super fucking excited to be a part of, as we have in the past. For the next two weeks, stars from the world of entertainment, politics, and more will drop by to make their picks for the big game in the Pink Taco! Up next, it's noted physicist Stephen Hawking!

HELLO.

HOW

ARE

YOU?

TODAY.

I AM FINE.

MY

FAVORITE

TIME

OF THE YEAR

IS

SUPER BOWL SUNDAY.

MY

FAVORITE THING

ABOUT

FOOTBALL

IS

WATCHING

THE PASSES

AND

THINKING

ABOUT

SUCKING TOM BRADY'S COCK.

IF

I

WAS

SUCKING TOM BRADY'S COCK.

I WOULD LIKE TO

CHEW IN A CIRCULAR MOTION.

OR

I WOULD LIKE TO

LAY

NAKED

IN THE STREET

AND.

GET.

GANG-BANGED LIKE A HOOKER WHO OVERDOSED ON HEROIN.

IN.

MY ASS.

AND FACE.

I WOULD LIKE TO

PICK

THE GIANTS

TO WIN

BY

TWO

TOUCHDOWNS

THIRTY.

FIVE.

TO.

TWENTY.

ONE.

IF

[John Madden's voice] Brett Favre

WAS

IN.

THIS GAME.

I WOULD LIKE TO.

STILL.

BE.

SUCKING TOM BRADY'S COCK.

THANK YOU.

GOOD BYE.

37 comments:

Big Daddy Drew said...

Fitter, happier, more productive,
comfortable,
not drinking too much,
regular exercise at the gym

the great bambi said...

are those all things you're avoiding?

Big Daddy Drew said...

That too, yes.

Phony Gwynn said...

Well, Hawking does look like a cat tied to a stick, driven into frozen winter shit.

Captain Caveman said...

@the great bambi --

I recommend less KSK commenting and more Radiohead albums

Number 2 said...

Tasteless. You should be ashamed. Hawking is clearly a vagina man.

http://flaminghomers.blogspot.com/

Crazy Little Thing said...

BDD translated:

Harder, better, faster, stronger. Th-tha-tha-that that don't kill me, etc.

futuremrsrickankiel said...

The ability to laugh at weakness = KSK

Francois Leroux Speedskater said...

@ CC and BDD:

Richard Cheese's version is far more entertaining, at least for me.

Tariq said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tech N9ne's Tribute to Falco said...

Radiohead and Daft Punk? Well, this is turning into quite the Eli Party isn't it.

/off to put strychnine the sbarro

My Insignificant Life said...

@ future mrs....

if you cannot laugh at weakness, what can you laugh at?

Hank said...

In the words of Homer Simpson:

"Larry Flynt is right!"

Chip Fu said...

Dear MMP,

We are happy to inform you that space has become available. We've reserved a spot in Circle #8, Bolgia 10. Let us know if this doesn't suit your needs or if you'd like to discuss alternate accomodations.

We look forward to meeting you on February 5th at 8:06 PM, 27 agonizing minutes after your unfortunate encounter with a garbage truck, and getting you situated in your new home.

Regards,

Satan

Pemulis said...

still kisses with saliva?

Phony Gwynn said...

a pig in a cage on antibiotics

Hey, leave Deanna Favre outta this!

MMP said...

@chip: Does Satan offer a turn-down service?

Chamomiles Davis said...

DEAR KSK,

I WANTED TO SEE YOUR UTOPIA, BUT NOW I SEE IT IS MORE OF A FRUITOPIA.

MC HAWKING OUT, BITCHES.

BOOM... SHAKA... LAKA... LAKA... LAKA...

/A Brief History of Rhyme

Suss said...

That was a great Dick Clark impersonation! Now do Steven Hawking.

Otto Man said...

SHALL. WE. PLAY. A. GAME?

Fried Yoda said...

NO.

ELISHA.

CAN.

NOT.

JOIN.

Jelly B. Good said...

boy I miss Marmalard...

Chris(BessMervinGirlDetective) said...

I having been waiting to use this forever, finally.

Your theory of a donut shaped universe intrigues me. I may have to steal it.

G said...

Wow,

Go to hell, go directly to hell, do not pass go, do not collecct $200.

--still funny though

TheNaturalMevs said...

Have fun in hell!

Leaking Geek said...

Hi, MMP...

Oh, Hi Satan...

Ryan The Intern said...

MJD + water = MMP

Chip Fu said...

@mmp: I'll have to speak to the manager.

dick_gozinia said...

Here's my impression of Stephen Hawking with a hooker.

SUCK.
MY.
DICK.
SUCK.
IT BITCH.

Gracias Senor David Cross.

Landru said...

Best. MMP. evAR.

dlchambers said...

Yo, this one goes out to all you punk
bitches who think the Hawkman is soft

Stephen Hawking is crazy as f*ck!
http://profile.imeem.com/dLRTYE/music/UZlJ0pWK/mc_hawking_crazy_as_fuck/

bloodyhandedgod said...

That is just wrong. Like having Mother Teresa do an anal-bukkake-facial-gangbang video wrong.

All wrong.

Gern said...

Would it kill someone to fix his fucking teeth? We're not in jolly old England.

Christopher said...

Did everybody else read that to themselves in the electronic voice too?

Just me? Ok.

SlickBomb said...

Hey! Lego Steven Hawking.

http://www.thelandsalmon.com/images/2008/January16thru31/stephen_hawking_lego.jpg

Otto Man said...

Would it kill someone to fix his fucking teeth? We're not in jolly old England.

He teaches at Cambridge University.

Which is located in....

Brady's a douchebag said...

@bloodyhandedgod

What's wrong with Mother Teresa getting up and in every orifice from soneone like....oh Michael Strahan. He needs a bitch. He doesn't like being someone's bitch plus Mother T couldn't talk back to him. If that's too sick for you, Michael could make Jared from Subway his personal bitch as part of a Super Bowl commercial.

PS Osi could shit on Jared while Michael does him with a footlong.