Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Introducing KSK Slashies, T-Shirts For All Your Chemically Altered Moods


Ever wanted to buy a KSK t-shirt, only to realize, “Hey, I’m the only asshole who’s gonna get the joke on here!” Well, fear not. For we have devised a line of t-shirts that will not only make you more appealing to the opposite sex, but will also act as a vital mood indicator. For instance, are you drunk?


Now Jerramy Stevens knows he can pull you into the bushes and have his way with you! Or, are you high? Of course you are. No one reads this site while lucid! So make sure your parents are aware with this jazzy number.

Or perhaps you’re feeling romantic. You love KSK, but what you really need is love. Well, this Namath-inspired number will have you locking lips with anonymous drifters in no time!


Yes, KSK Slashies. Simple. Elegant. And ready to accommodate all your future vomit stains. Any t-shirt can make a fashion statement. But what the world really needs is a t-shirt that makes a literal statement about just how aimless and sad your life is! Whee!!!!

And if you have any suggestion for new Slashies, let us hear ‘em.

51 comments:

Grimey said...

/jerks self raw

The Last Unitard said...

/critical of anti-Boston sentiment

KC Cal said...

/You would be well advised to make an inquiryyyyyyyyy

Phony Gwynn said...

/winces at 37 bambi comments

No, I keed.

Edmond said...

/already admitting defeat

or something I always tried to impress upon the females

/Mickey Mouse Club reject

Maximum Overdouche said...

/finished shitting on you

futuremrsrickankiel said...

Can we pretty please get the "/wants to kiss you" one in a ladies shirt? Try and position the text so it lies neatly across both nipples.

Gepetto said...

/is fucking crazy

The Last Unitard said...

Jerramy Stephens is intrigued by your ideas and wonders if he could use your shirt as a plausible defense for rape charges.


/stabs Jerramy Stephens in the eye with a cactus

J said...

One of my favorites from the Cumslinger:

/finds woman, nails her

Perfect for frat parties or hanging at Kerney's place, I guess.

Marcus said...

I demand "/shits pants" to be available in onesie format for my newborn son.

Ken Dynamo said...

/roofies

no seriously tho, you cant wear these shirts. i'd beat myself up if i saw myself in one.

Pemulis said...

/asks somebody

Clutch Is Everything said...

/you betta ask somebodddddyyyy

J said...

@Ken Dynamo: yeah, I think the only one I could justify is /shits pants

Maybe we need this?
/kicks own ass

Gourmet Spud said...

/Kordell

Pemulis said...

/kills self

Five Pound Bag said...

/hates Axl

Zamboni said...

/amuses self but no one else

MMP said...

Ladies /wanna and Onesie are up.

Jim said...

/masturbates the ball down the feel

futuremrsrickankiel said...

Awesome! Friday night game plan from here on out:

1. Put on "/wants to kiss you" shirt
2. Drink enough to make it true for just about every guy I look at

I'm sure to meet the man of my dreams! That's how it works, right?

Suss said...

/\_______________\o/ AHHH SHARK

smurphette said...

@pemulis: +1

peter king crowned my ass said...

@fmra: Would you settle for a tablespoon of warm jiz in your hair?

Suss said...

Also, "/shits pants" is a bloggistered trademark of Dallamora, Bois, et. al L.L.C. We're only supposed to steal ideas from large, uncaring entities, not other bloggers.

1972DavidBowieFromTheZiggyStardustTour said...

These ain't no slashies folks.. these are the pure breeds.

/kills self

Zamboni said...

@futuremrs: the "/wants to kiss you" is packaged as a buy-one-get-one-free offer with the "/walk of shame" shirt to be worn the morning after

J.L. White said...

Since I'm constantly interrupting everyone I talk to, I'd better wear this t-shirt...

/threadjack

Pemulis said...

/hates life

Narts said...

/WHITE GALLON OUTPOUR

I mean, that way at least Vrabel will know what my t-shirt means...

Upstate Underdog said...

/NOOOOOOOOO!!!

the chief said...

/Fuck and Yes

fallex said...

/shits towel

devang said...

How about a PK shirt with a "milk" mustache.

/got Favre?

289 or Dan V., get on it please?

Mamula Blues said...

/Smirres

devang said...

/Can I give you an Osi?

LewDog said...

/fuck it, going deep!

fallex said...

/begul shittin'

devang said...

/Welkaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh

Chamomiles Davis said...

/i could do this all day

Chamomiles Davis said...

/construda

DC said...

/ya betta ask somebodddddaaayyy

or

/[Door Flies Open]

Unabashed Douchebag said...

/agrees with chamomile and dc... we need marmalard and construda slashies.

Graffiti Hunter said...

/notsomuch
/drops duece
/ms. brady
/can't feel feelings
/leaves room
/getting back in bed

Chamomiles Davis said...

/washes u ass

Chamomiles Davis said...

/rape chamber
/free ookie

Robocats said...

I'm alarmed, given the prevalence of the slash-phrase construction in normal threads, how certain people are putting just any phrase there and not a predicate.

I do second the Kordell idea though. Or maybe:

QB/WR/RB/Punter/benchwarmer

/hopes he saved his money

WAW said...

/meast

SavRoccaFella said...

/nothing a big dick wouldn't fix

SpikeLeaveMeAlone said...

/feels the Volektricity

/EVERYTHING I SAY IS IMPORTANT

/CHEEZ DOODLE CONNISSEUR

/grows Neckbeard

and i seriously vote for:

/you would be well advised to make an inquiryyyyyyyyyyy