Friday, January 11, 2008

NFL Cheerleader Fictional Biography: Dulcinea


Dulcinea is a 22-year-old cheerleader for the Jacksonville Jaguars. Most of the time she enjoys her avocation, but she could do without the visits to the children's hospitals. Children's hospitals give her the blues.

To chase the blues away, Dulcinea invented a brand new game. She has played it many times with her boyfriend and her roommate Tanya. Once when she was bored, she played it with the Fed Ex guy. He told her she should copyright the game and sell it at the Spencer's at the Orange Park Mall. Dulcinea isn't too sure about that. She would hate for someone to get the wrong idea about her.



31 comments:

Unsilent Majority said...

Left ankle headboard

(Five One Eight) said...

Right hand rectum

Guiness319 said...

2 girls 1 fist?

Seriously though, she sounds way less dangerous than Erin...

Suss said...

No, no no. Dulcinea was when all the continents were joined together.

Mike said...

This one isn't nearly as cruel as the one on the poor Chargers' girl. That was brutal.

Upstate Underdog said...

Dulcinea. Don Quixote or Toad the Wet Sprocket fan ?

the great bambi said...

not as cruel? apparently you didn't see what the Fed Ex guy did on the blue spots

Grimey said...

Guess which side of the bed she sleeps on five days every month

futuremrsrickankiel said...

I want one.

futuremrsrickankiel said...

http://www.twisterduvetcover.co.uk/product.php?id=2

This might have just changed my life. They have them in the Amazon.com Marketplace, too, but the thought of buying one of these in any condition other than "brand spanking new" quite frankly terrifies me. How much is 29 pounds in real money?

Chamomiles Davis said...

Do they make "Sorry" bedsheets for premature ejaculators?

/Not that I need one...

The Pirate Sloth said...

I was the Fed Ex guy.

Grimey said...

A female friend of mine had an annoying, unattractive friend who had a T-shirt with the Twister logo and the four colored dots below. I always wanted to go up to her and say "Right foot green!" and kick her in the chest.

Les Savy Ferd said...

suss, that was funny as hell.

Leaking Geek said...

I'll see your cheerleader and raise you three lesbians in lingerie!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MnooUSYqaeM&feature=related

Imagine what they could do for Yahtzee.

the great bambi said...

@ futuremrs.

right now 1 pound equals almost $2 so about $47-48

Matt said...

Unfortunately, 29 pounds is like $60. They wipe their asses with 10 spots.

the great bambi said...

wow yeah, i can't do math, it's friday, it's late, i just wanna go home and drink

futuremrsrickankiel said...

Ah yes... but Friday nights on the Twister bed? Can you really put a price on that?

Also, Grimey, you're an evil evil bitch.

the great bambi said...

i'm sure silky garrard could put a price on it...and then you'd stiff him of that price as it is his understanding that you new englanders are unwilling to pay full price

My Insignificant Life said...

@ futuremrs rick

depends if solo ($43.71) or with a pimp ($67.91), per act of course; which I am not sure if it is perspin....it may be negotiable. But, if you break down per hour, well, then it is $25.10 (solo) and $37.41 via a pimp.

/ not that I know this personally, but read about it in the paper, University of Chicago study on prostitution in Chicago.

Jelly B. Good said...

I have to quit this blog... Everytime I see a post from futuremrs now I'm going to envision her with a left foot green, right foot red, and I have to leave and go visit wild-pornstars.com to finish off... Just when I thought I could escape porn websites they infiltrate my sports blog and pull me back in.

futuremrsrickankiel said...

Oh dear.

Jelly B. Good said...

you're safe now futuremrs, I just noticed the pictures of the kids on the nightstand to the left of the bed. Does make me feel like even more of a perv now though.. and don't worry, I used a little Purell, and yes, AFTER the dirty deed...

Grimey said...

(crickets)

dickey simpkins said...

Why don't you just take it easy there?

mezzrow said...

Tanya is a cheating backstabbing bitch. You can find the game at the Spencer's at Regency and the Avenues. She met the FedEx guy last week.

JohnDewar said...

Get the wrong idea? With a made up stripper name like "Dulcinea"? I don't need to see the twister sheets to get that. Odds on her having a tramp stamp?

Jackin'4Beats said...

Put your face in the pillow.

5PercentBodyFat said...

See this is a really good example of a major problem in the United States, Foreign words that don't come with a pronunciation guide, like how the hell do you pronounce this. Its just like au bon pain. Assistance please

Otto Man said...

apparently you didn't see what the Fed Ex guy did on the blue spots

Blue spots, eh? A little penicillin will clear that right up.