Thursday, January 10, 2008

Please God, Send These Children To Darfur


As a father, I'm normally against the idea of slaughtering children. But I dare you to watch 20 seconds of this clip without resisting the urge to grab a machete and start playing "got your nose" for real. I bet these kids never even learn to read a fucking traffic light.

Not pictured: Peter King behind a music stand waving a conductor's stick.

61 comments:

dickey simpkins said...

It's things like these that make me understand why people hate our country.

Richard said...

Young Jessica Simpson in the front row.

futuremrsrickankiel said...

I'll see your vaguely nauseating Packers children and raise you this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWeVkXX77Ac

Needless to say, this is exactly what my (future) children will be like.

larry b said...

The girl in the pink jersey will be pregnant by age 15. Her babydaddy will be the douchey kid in the back row with the visor.

Upstate Underdog said...

Children of the Cheese ?

I blame the parents and teachers, arrest them all for child abuse.

Bobby said...

i want to kill myself... that great american education system...

drozz said...

that's it. where's the whiskey?

Eric said...

Holy shit, 20 seconds was right on the mark. I killed it at 26. Home schooling sounds like a good option now. Worst part is, there is someone just as smarmy as PK thinking this is the wittiest thing they've ever produced.

Think about the children...

Christmas Ape said...

I'm just shocked there's even one non-Favre jersey in the crowd. I thought it was some sort of Wisconsin statute that mandated that the Gunslinger's was the only permissible Packer jersey worn in public.

Awkward Boner said...

is it any wonder why people from chicago fucking hate wisconson.

The Last Unitard said...

I think my soul just aborted itself.

Leaking Geek said...

I'll bet this is what the CIA used on the detainees at GITMO to make them talk.

Dear God, please make it stop [raking ears with bloody fingernails]

Otto Man said...

Home schooling sounds like a good option now.

Yeah, home-schooled kids always turn out so well-adjusted and normal.

drozz said...

made it to :23.

breaking out the ether.

Brother Mouzone said...

39 seconds, beat that.

Tax dollars were spent on this. Since it's Green Bay, wouldn't a song about Favre in a public school be considered school prayer?

drozz said...

i actually lasted longer watching 2girls1cup.

Unsilent Majority said...

pk could get in a lot of trouble if he doesn't put that conductor's stick back in its holster

Ricky said...

i call dibs on the little asian one.

Slash said...

I made it to :23. I actually don't mind the ravaging of a beloved holiday song, I just hate kids singing. No, I really do.

Hank said...

Not pictured: Peter King behind a music stand waving a conductor's stick.

I bet that's not all he's waving...

MaxwellDemon said...

King was too busy giving Favre 1/2 a vote for the all-pro team. I wish I was making that up.

Whoever wanted me to hate Favre and Jesus, mission fucking accomplished. Killing Wisconsinites--I think Jeffrey Dahmer was on to something.

Jay said...

look at the mullet on the kid around :40

Signal to Noise said...

48 seconds.

I'd rather listen to nails on a chalkboard before that again.

Pemulis said...

im just surprised more of them arent obese

Upstate Underdog said...

nice catch jay, it makes sense that the kid with the mullet is wearing a jersey that looks like it is from Favre's first year with GB.

the Associated Dress said...

Dammit, I knew that condom broke. Who knew turtlenecks and jerseys were genetic?! Good thing we never got each other's name and that it was at a Madison "layover" party where I knew nobody. And that Favre jersey confirms it. Cedarburg girls always say they're from Whitefish Bay.

The Last Dragon said...

This takes shittiness to a whole new level. I'm speechless.....

My Insignificant Life said...

This is why animals in the wild kill their young.

futuremrsrickankiel said...

I think Rivers might need to pay this happy little classroom a visit, no?



What does Hannibal Lecter call a little Packers fan?

A quarter pounder with cheese!!!



I hate me.

Porky1 said...

Still less creepy than the kids from "Jesus Camp."

mamacita said...

As a mother, I am fully in favor of the idea of slaughtering children. You won't share the Wii? You die. You said my daughter she couldn't be in your club? You die. Oh, my kids will forget in five minutes, but rest assured little Emily, I will not.

Matt said...

At least those kids aren't redskins fans.

lanceoceanside said...

I grew up in Northeast Wisconsin. This is no joke. We love our stupid Packers shit, thats for sure. They cancelled school after the Packers won the Super Bowl.

Don't ask what they do with the kid who so happens to like the Bears. He's tied up in the back and is forced to eat alpo.

John Foley said...

I only made it to :28 before an embolism struck.
As usual, Brother Mouzone owns me.

John said...

being from chicago, all i can think is haha, you guys lost to a neckbeard with a one play strategy.

the best one has to be the mexican kid in the generic green shirt on the far right side, with no packers logo on it. way to support your team, guy!

i'm gonna call bullshit on these kids, as there's far too many girls caring about football in that bunch. that, or wisconsin has some damned effeminate guys.

Landru said...

In France, Hannibal calls them a Royale with cheese.

Darfur is way too good for them. I say send them to that bad Travolta scientology scifi movie.

smurphette said...

@futuremrs: Love how you've got Marmalard and Hannibal Lecter references in the same comment. I wish the two of them could meet.

Chris said...

Made it all the way through. Eardrums ruptured and eyes exploded 2 seconds after the end.

Matt said...

that is the most annoying thing I've heard in a looong time. THANKS

bfreakin3 said...

I live near GB, and yet, this is the greatest thing I've ever seen. I hate packer fans soooooooo much.

Matt said...

I see your wisconsin kids singing and raise you florida's primary export:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQ5eZSa7URA

Mike said...

35 seconds.

And I finished 2girls1cup on the first viewing.

This is worse than 2g1c.

Jackin'4Beats said...

Please Mike Holmgren don't fuck this up. Go back to Green Bay and wipe your ass with Farve's face stubble.

/can't believe I'm rooting for the Seahacks.

Otto Man said...

look at the mullet on the kid around :40

That wasn't a mullet. That kid looked like Butters when they passed him off as a wounded dog.

But wow, did it make it worth breaking through that wall at :20 and catching a second wind. And thanks to a training regimen of sweet, sweet Knob Creek, I made it all the way to :53.

iamsofaking said...

I actually watched that.

Fuck you.

portauthority said...

As a Twin Ports resident, I see so much green and piss-yellow....and then to get exposed to this group of living abortions. Must be something in the cheese that makes these little fudgepackers susceptible to brainwashing.

Kolja said...

Not pictured: Peter King behind a music stand waving a conductor's stick.

That's what they're calling it now?

Robocats said...

I FUCKING SWEAR: if I was in the class, I would beat the shit out of myself with a bat and claim that the teacher did that to me for being a Bears fan just so that the hillbilly got fired.

Yes, it would be worth the hospital bills and suffering.

RonaldoMexico said...

Madden just signed up for the wank-a-thon...

Sarah said...

Best. Birth Control. Ever. Thanks!

dick_gozinia said...

I'd like to borrow Sean Taylor's machete and get to work on that whole classroom.

Guiness319 said...

The machete's a good call, but I'm gonna have to go with the Tank Johnson arsenal for $500 Alex

H Cuz said...

Oh god what the fuck.

I'm a Packers fan but this made me ill.

Elli said...

I don't care how "nauseating" this video may be to everyone, but to make comments as untasteful as "As a father, I'm normally against the idea of slaughtering children. But I dare you to watch 20 seconds of this clip without resisting the urge to grab a machete and start playing 'got your nose' for real" and "send these kids to darfur" is absolutely sickening.

Let's keep things in perspective. It doesn't matter if you're saying comments purely as a joke. Darfur is not a joke, and to even put such a topic into a discussion on children singing about the Packers is embarrassing.

Another commented that "It's things like these that make me understand why people hate our country"...I think we should apply this to the comments below the video rather than the video itself. How ignorant.

Please everyone, grow the hell up.

dickey simpkins said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
dickey simpkins said...

elli:

How ignorant of you that people want to read your preaching. I'm glad you got your rant out, did it make you feel better bitching about Darfur, rather than taking those feelings and trying to help out in a productive manner?

Christmas Ape said...

Elli would prefer we send them to the Gaza Strip.

Sarah said...

Elli? What a cunt.

Brady's a douchebag said...

If Darfur is too overboard, we could just make them watch six hours of fucking NASCAR!

Ricky said...

Home of the web's finest dick jokes.

Ange said...

Anybody ever heard of music class? Pretty sure we were forced to learn and sing lamer songs than this one. At least it's creative. So as for wasting valuable class time - get a clue. Creativity is key to learning.