Tuesday, January 29, 2008

KSK Celebrity Pickkake: Det. James "Jimmy" McNulty


The celebrity Super Bowl pick is a time-honored tradition, one we at KSK are super fucking excited to be a part of, as we have in the past. For the next two weeks, stars from the world of entertainment, politics, and more will drop by to make their picks for the big game in the Pink Taco! Up next, Baltimore City detective, Jimmy McNulty:

A lot of chatter in the Eastern saying something's going on with this Patriots and Giants meetup. Know anything about that? These are two crews that just had a some beef not too long ago. Repping different areas though. Doesn't make sense.

[Sighs] Fuckin' A.

[Takes quick pull of Jameson bottle]

We're just sitting rubbing our dicks together while we could be doing some real police work. Just don't have the backing to come down on these things anymore. If city hall got its shit together, we could have men down on every corner making picks. As it stands, don't no one in this town have any idea what's going on.


[Downs eight shots of Jameson, licks a strange woman's butthole]

Fucking chain of command. You know, you pull all these wins out of the vacants and what? We make a little noise, it gooses the stats, but it's not enough to make Carcetti really give a shit, not with the ass-pounding he's taking on the schools issue. But if we can make it look like one team, say the Patriots, got all these in a row, eighteen and fucking oh, ain't no way they can dodge all that attention. Undefeated team? Shit, you'll get national press in here. All's we gotta do is create a pattern.

Bunk: Nah. Naaaaahhhhh. Ain't gonna have no part a' this shit, Jimmy. Man's gotta live by a code. You can do this shit, but you do it alone. Hell, everybody know Giants ain't got shit anyway.

[McNulty drinks flowerpot full of Jameson, staggers off bar stool]

What the fuck did I do?

30 comments:

flubby said...

No hope for the Giants. After all, the king stays the king.

Cousins of Ron Mexico said...

McNulty: I gotta ask you... if Belichick always stole the other teams plays, why'd you let the Patriots play?

Roger Goodell: You gots to man - this America.


(Fucking beautiful work, Ape)

Perks said...

perfect.

the great bambi said...

man, i try to post on KSK only to get silenced, i didn't expect a kind of spanish inquisition

Otto Man said...

Brilliant work.

Just one thing left to say: Fuck.

Biggus Rickus said...

Alright, I'll take Bambi's bait:

NObody expects the Spanish Inquisition!

Christmas Ape said...

Bambi:

We were just trying to save you from yourself.

JAMMQ said...

Freamon: Boy, you need something more than this here. A life, Jimmy. You know what a life is? It's the shit that happens while you wait for posts from Captain Caveman that never come.

Otto Man said...

I like to think you were trying to save the rest of us from Bambi too.

Moderation, my son. Just because you can post every thirty seconds doesn't mean you should post every thirty seconds.

It's like an all-you-can-eat buffet. That title's not a contractual obligation. You're allowed to show a little discretion.

flubby said...

Up in this bitch here, Ape is what you call an 'authority figure'.

youtube.com/watch?v=HrfCixsd2N8

Pemulis said...

is the wire as good as everyone on earth says it is? I've never seen an episode. the only cop show I ever liked was Homicide.

miamidiesel said...

Jamey and listerine, that's your smell Jimmy.

If you haven't already downloaded and watched the first 7 episodes of this season, you suck at life.

John said...

if you liked homicide then you will most definitely like the wire. those are the only tv shows i own on dvd (thus far, every episode) and you should definitely watch the HBO series "The Corner"

Otto Man said...

If you liked Homicide, Pemulis, you'd love the Wire.

The two shows are both David Simon creations, and they share a lot of the same elements (not to mention the same setting in Baltimore). The only real difference is that The Wire, being on HBO, can tell stories in a lot more depth and an R-rated sensibility.

Don't try to join the storyline now, though. Get the DVDs on Netflix or something and start from the beginning.

Phony Gwynn said...

Pemulis, get your ass to Best Buy or Netflix or whatever the fuck you gotta do and start at the beginning.

If ever a show was getting blown by three hot chicks while eating fried chicken and waffles while watching your teams win the Super Bowl, World Series, Stanley Cup and National Championship in every sport save curling, The Wire is it.

sunglasses in the dark said...

@phony gwynn:
Unfortunately, that may already be happening to Boston fans. After all, Deadspin says their dicks just grew 6 inches.

John John The Bastard said...

"The trouble is that nobody wins against the patriots they just lose more slowly"
- Prez

SlideShow Bob said...

i just wish that you could show the clip from 2 weeks ago's episode, when hes nailing the blond on top of that car.

John John The Bastard said...

@ Miami Diesel but then what am I supposed to do while I wait three weeks to watch the last three eps?

Jason said...

The Giants? Over the Motha Fuckin' Patriots? Fuckin' city Po-lice better get yo shit together and realize Clay Davis ain't pickin no god dayum Giants over the Patriots without a fight.

After all I did? For this city?

Sheeeeeeeeeeeit.

SlideShow Bob said...

So using this analogy, the NFL needs to find itself a Gay black dude to stop the Pats, if they act now Kordell practicing with the Giants by Thursdy.

miamidiesel said...

@john john: I've been wondering that myself - somebody really needs to leak the last three episodes. At the very least, you won't have to worry about overhearing some douche bag ruin the storyline for you through Episode 7 before you get a chance to watch it in two weeks, which was one of my main concerns (and out of respect for people smart enough to watch The Wire I will not be said douche bag).

roy said...

Good piece--but please spend the rest of the week baiting the douchebags!

Adam said...

http://www.surfthechannel.com

Wire season 5, episodes 1-7 online. Just go to "Channel" on the menu bar and select "TV Shows".

Gourmet Spud said...

Outstanding, sir. The only thing missing was a stolen newspaper.

Gern said...

Love the wire, but Mc Nulty's storyline so far is a stretch for me. I'm sure they'll tie that shit together soon. Great show. Also, everyone will think I'm totally gay, but terminator is a great show also.

Shigeru Miyamoto has a very unusual looking chin said...

I need to start watching this show. Haven't been able to find it in Canada thus far, though.

Ben said...

One of the best jokes ever on this site...
Player White Ravens fans root for:
1. Todd Heap
2. Todd Heap
3. McNulty
4. Todd Heap

Gourmet Spud said...

It's on in Canada. It's on The Movie Network, same as all the HBO shows.

Also, many trading posts in Canada now carry DVDs.

Greg Schuler said...

Pfft - Bolander or Felton tune this queer up. Don't you dare eyefuck Stan Bolander.