Sunday, January 13, 2008

Commercial-Filming Season Begins a Little Early This Year

(Sprint cell phone plays Radiohead's "Exit Music (For a Film)")

Peyton: (looks at phone) Shit.

(Thom Yorke: "We hope... that you--")

Peyton: Hey, kid.

Eli: Oh man tha' was AWESOME! Idn't winning playofff gamezzz FUHn?!?

Peyton: Are you drunk?

Eli: (giggles) Coash gah me a zix of Sima.

Peyton: Uh huh.

Eli: DOOOOD we beeet DALLAS! Nummer one seed in the ho' conferen! IN DALLAS! An ya know who din't throw an intershepshun? Guess.

Peyton: You?

Eli: No, ME!!!

Peyton: Must've been a nice chance of pace.

Eli: It totally was! Soooo weird! I'm don't feel like crying at all!

Peyton: That's great.

Eli: Oh. Oh. Oh man I'm sorry. I din't ass how your game wen. You gettin' rehddy fer the Pastyruts nest week?

Peyton: Uhhh...

(phone beeps)

Peyton: I gotta get that. Talk to you later.

Eli: Sure, just give me a ca--


Peyton: Hello?

Archie: That was awesome! You were in the playoffs! Is losing there any different from losing in the regular season?

Peyton: Sigh...


Ben said...

Trip to next year's Manning family reunion: priceless.

Stephen said...

LMOA! Ohhh, shit. T.O. was crying like a bitch in the post-game. "It's really unfair...(sniffles) Cuz that's my teammate, man. (crying) That's a team." Good thing he had on them shades, cuz it would've made for a funny caption if we could see the tears streaming down his face.

dick_gozinia said...

Can the Mannings adopt Phillip Rivers next season instead of Matt(y) Leinart?

And let me be the first to point out that Jerry Jones was standing right next to Wade "Puddin' Tits" Phillips when his boy Romo threw the 4th quarter pick. I can't wait for the Jerry & Wade post tomorrow.

devang said...

.....And I'm dancing with myseleefff. Drink another drink....

I type this as I see TO weeping. FUCK and YES!!

The Pirate Sloth said...

I guess that "special night" for Romo won't be happening for another year. Poor guy, he's never gonna bust his cherry.

Geoff said...

T.O. -- "You can't throw my quarterback under the bus, only *I* can throw my quarterback under the bus."

smurphette said...

"Must've been a nice chance of pace."

Ha, thanks for that. You managed to make me crack a smile despite my foul mood. And the "zix of Sima" was well played.

allie said...

well, props to you smurphette- there's no way I would subject myself to this site for at least 24 hours if the pats lost.

devang said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
devang said...

I think the reason that smurphette can jump on this site after such a loss is that her, or any other fans for that matter, do not even REMOTELY approach the douchetastic level of Pats fans.

Must be pretty fucking surreal in the Manning household.

Nick said...

I guess Payton can start watching some tape and get ready for the big DSRL season.

smurphette said...

@allie: Thanks. You and futuremrs are queens among boston fans. But in your defense, I would say that, if the Pats lost, the fallout on this site would much, much worse than for the Colts.

JAMMQ said...

I was wondering when we were gonna hear from CC, with the Seahawks loss and all . . .

And here is the reason why, not for the unbelievable talent I have for testing the patience of all Marines(who are all certifiably psychotic), but because of the comedic brilliance that is Captain Caveman.

Brilliant post.

Although, I must say, CC works from an advantage, since he has actually gotten drunk with Eli Manning(can you say BFF?).

Baby Manning wins! CC posts! Cowboys lose! Colts lose! What a glorious day!

Now who the fuck is gonna take care of Brady?


Brian said...
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bloodyhandedgod said...

As a Cowboy fan I only wish to kill myself by cannibalising Wade Phillips until I explode.

That sounds a bit too close to BDD porn.

The only time I have felt worse was that fucking Niner's loss when we went for the threepeat. Horrid field. 0-21 in about 5 minutes. Coachless then to. On that night I lost a good friend and punched an innocent on the way home.

Horrible game. Exposed as undercoached, "special" teams fucktarded, QB'd by a 2nd year guy and undermotivated and underprepared for too long.

If I lived in Texas my chance of not being incarcerated would be almost zero tonite.

Cannot believe our season is done. Goes off to cry like a man.

*cleans his gun*

Jay said...

Sheli doesn't look well at all in that picture. His/her face reminds me of the way faces swell up when you get poison ivy all over it.

Ry said...

The radiohead reference is fantastic.

mary smith said...

I'm going to throw away all of the shit Peyton's convinced me to buy and get me one of those unstoppable watches!!

futuremrsrickankiel said...

***ups to the ladies***

Anyone seen that fairly recent episode of the Simpsons where they try to bring a pro football team called "The Meltdowns" to Springfield?

Lenny: "I've got Melt Mania!"
Carl: "I've got Down Syndrome!"

I feel like Eli Manning could be the QB of that team.

Dan said...

@ ry:
The best part? Guess what song I was listening to when I came here. Yea, it was a little weird. Combined with the Karma Police tag a couple weeks ago, it's safe to say their taking over. I, for one, welcome our musically talented overlords.

bloodyhandedgod said...

Fuck you to Parcells. You and Bobby Knight book another night in the Thailand Travelodge.

Dan said...

They're. Idiot.

Brian said...

I wonder where all that QB love was when T.O. was calling Jeff Garcia gay and saying he wanted Brett Favre instead of McNabb.

Jon said...

That TO conference was pretty powerful stuff.

That said:

Guiness319 said...

Unstoppable.... Elisha Manning is