Wednesday, January 23, 2008

KSK Celebrity Pickkake: Tom Cruise

The celebrity Super Bowl pick is a time-honored tradition, one we at KSK are super fucking excited to be a part of, as we have in the past. For the next two weeks, stars from the world of entertainment, politics, and more will drop by to make their picks for the big game in the Pink Taco! Next up, former movie star Tom Cruise!

We are the authorities on football. We are the authorities between the 20s and in the redzone. We are the authorities on eliminating careless penalties. We can ice kickers. We can bring pressure from the outside and cover spreads. That once you know these tools and you know that they work, it's not good enough that I'm just doing okay.

Have you ever met one? A QB?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Being a Scientologist, when you look at a game on paper, it's not like anyone else, it's, you look at the matchups, you know you can see what happens with a clairvoyance THAT IS STUNNING. You know you are the only one who can really pick. That's what drives me.

Earlier this season, when I was sitting in DS's luxury box at FEF, I peaked up from reading my copy of KSW. These, these Giants, a team hopelessly behind at the intermission had regained the lead. I saw how they improved conditions. They were, like, man, you're either in or you're out. That spectatorism, I've no time for it. That is something we have no time for now.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Giants. Patriots. PTSPs. One day they'll just read about them in the history books. I just go through that tech, literally. It's not how to run an offense. It's how to shatter or confront oppression. You apply it, then boom. Madden taught me that.

We have the ability to create that new reality. Where we can pick games regardless of score. We can shatter that oppression, those QBs. Let's get it done. Let's get it really done.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

15 comments:

twoeightnine said...

Is he going to be the Redskins new head coach?

Blaxabbath said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Otto Man said...

Jerry O'Connell agrees completely.

Chip Fu said...

@289: portis's e-meter results were off the richter.

rocksolid said...

Dead man blogging..
Don't you know the scientologists are loco?

Pemulis said...

[jumps on couch]

devang said...

The Washington Thetans?

The Last Unitard said...

I think he's more likely to be hired as coach of the Tennessee Thetans.

Sorry.

/seppuku

The Last Unitard said...

Dag blast it!

/re-seppuku

Leaking Geek said...

And to quelch any further rumors regarding the paternity of baby Suri, she was NOT conceived from L. Ron Hubbard's sperm.

I drank the last of that two years ago...

MaxwellDemon said...

And yet he was really good in Collateral. Sad. He used to have all the right moves.

HAHAHAetc

Big Daddy Drew said...

Tom Cruise loves the Giants! AND the cock!

Tech N9ne's Tribute to Falco said...

It's rough and tumble, and it's wild and woolly, and it's, uh, it's a blast.

E. Jason said...

[closet flies open]

drozz said...

when you pass by an accident that is the miami dolphins, you know, as a scientologist, that you are the only one who can help.