Wednesday, January 24, 2007

KSK Celebrity Super Bowl Pick Bukkake: Randy Jackson!


The celebrity Super Bowl pick is a time-honored tradition, one we at KSK are super fucking excited to be a part of. For the next two weeks, stars from the world of entertainment, politics, and more will drop by to make their picks for the big game in Miami! Next up, American Idol judge Randy Jackson!

Yo, yo, yo! A'ight. Yo. Yo Peyton, dawg. You know you my dawg. You KNOW it. We boys. I first saw you in a commercial two years ago, and I was like, "Yo, where did that charisma COME FROM?!" You looked like some big goofy pasty guy, then you broke out "Cut! That! Meat!"... and I was feelin' it, dawg.

Hol' up, hol' up, lemme finish. I started watchin' you, dawg. And every week you bring it, dawg. And you definitely one a the best in America. Every. Single. Week.

And I know a lotta people been sayin' "Peyton's great, but can he BRING IT when it counts?" And you know what, dawg? Yo. When you went out there in the AFC Championship on Sunday, you proved those haters WRONG, dawg. You did your thing, man. You came out and blew the roof off the joint. I looked at my TV screen and I said, "Yo, THAT'S a star." Dude, you're goin' to MIAMI!!!

...

Timeout, timeout. Hol' up, hol' up. Yo, yo. Yo. Check it. Rex. Rexy. Dude. The talent is there, dawg. You got some massive pipes. And I love your look. And I know the ladies love your look... Hol' up, hol' up, a'ight... Your look is HOT, dude. For sure. How you get them eyebrows like that? You wax that shit? You get them threaded?

Naw, naw, but seriously. Yo. Rexy, what's happenin', man? Some weeks you come out and just KILL it, dawg. And some weeks you come on the field and I feel like you'd rather be somewhere else, know I'm sayin'? Like you're thinking about something else. Yo, check it: you started the season on FIRE, dawg. Then you got a little pitchy in the middle. A little pitchy. Overall it was only kinda all right for me.

You kinda, like, got this aloof thang goin' on. And that's cool. That's your thang, and you work it, dude. But I don't know, man. Yo. Rexy: it's hard for me to say this, because you my dawg, but I just think Peyton's gonna be better when it counts.

Check it: Colts 27, Bears 16. Yo, don't hate. Don't hate.

Thanks, Randy! More picks from the stars on the way!

29 comments:

FenwayFaithful78 said...

Who the ladies picking? What about Dreamboat's girl Gisele? Condi? Her dream job is to be the commissioner of the NFL, she should have a say in this. Eva Braun? Her judgment is obviously off but she sticks by her picks till the end. Monica Lewinsky? We haven't heard from that bitch in years.

Come on KSK gay mafia- hike up those skirts, turn on your charm and see what the ladies out there think.....

Unsilent Majority said...

pitchy...perfect

MDG said...

I was just thinking the same thing as Fenway. Let's get some hot female picking action. Heidi Klum, Lindsay Lohan, that chick from the doritos commercials, dana jacobson. Hey how do Becky's boobs feel about the match up?

UM I know you are dying to write one as if you were Agent Zero.

lieutenant winslow said...

this is a trick isn't it. this is where you bait some poor unsuspecting reader into going "oh yeah, man. that sounded just like that dude from American Idol"... and then all you demented fucks over at KSK jump all over the poor dude and go "AAAAAAHHAAAAAAAAAA. you know how we know you're gay???? because you watch American Idol"

whats that? oh. its NOT a trick? really? well in that case...

you know how i know you're gay?

Captain Caveman said...

Fenway with the solid threadjack before it even started. Nice work.

Lisa said...

I'm glad Randy was the person who FINALLY said something about Rex's eyebrows because, damn. I thought it was just me.

I need the name of his waxer! Hook a sister up, Rexy!

FenwayFaithful78 said...

mdg- I didn't say hot chicks. I mean come on- I put Condi in that group and she looks like Mr Roper and a Klingon had a bastard child.

Pick someone entertaining and unexpected KSK!

And next time pick better looking men to interview. You know- for us three women who read this craptastic site. Like this guy...he makes my knees knock! http://deadspin.com/sports/nfl/and-watch--as-you-all-turn-to-stone-231057.php

YUMMERS!

devang said...

Sounds like Herbert Kornfeld from "The Onion."

MDG said...

I know you didn't say hot chicks.but there are either hot chicks or no chicks. Know what I mean. I'd do Condi.

FenwayFaithful78 said...

THAT'S AWFUL!

How many drinks till she becomes "do-able?"

devang said...

Whose gap is bigger. Strahan's or Condi's?

FenwayFaithful78 said...

Strahan! He could fit a 6" subway sub through that thing!

MORE MEAT!

devang said...

I think he's had a 6" of something through there.

More meat you say fenwayfaithful.....? Nah, I'll be nice

peter king crowned my ass said...

Condi's probably a talker. I hate talkers.

jeremy21102 said...

Not sure if you guys are aware, but at one time Randy Jackson was the bassist for arguably the greatest band of all time - Journey.

http://www.journey-tribute.com/journey/resources/tour/ror/index.html

check that out dawg

FenwayFaithful78 said...

There was a black person in Journey??

lieutenant winslow said...

i'd f*&k Condi Rice like i was trying to win something.

Jawbreaker said...

I think he only toured with them. (see: never played on an album.)

Jackin'4Beats said...

Doesn't matter. Randy Jackson loses all the cool points he's ever accumulated during his lifetime, his soul card and ghetto pass and should no longer appear on urban radio ever, ever, ever again.

What a poser...

5150cd said...

Wow, I couldn't even read it. It might as well have been in piglatin, or latin for that matter.

fallex said...

He looked like bernie mac on crack.

Laser Rocket Arm said...

What's sad is I actually understood this.

Signal to Noise said...

Fenway: it'd be four Long Islands before I could even consider banging the Secretary of State.

Verification: "vqswucj", which is what my slurring would sound like before I'd be able to hit up Condi.

FenwayFaithful78 said...

The problem with gettin with Condi is that she always looked disapointed. That would be tough on the ego- wouldn't it boys?

This thread of convo really needs to end. The whole idea is making me sick.

What women SHOULD KSK interview?

Captain Caveman said...

Fenway -- Don't worry, there will be a lady by the end of the week. I shan't ruin the surprise.

Kate said...

well i am real excited for the match too. and these are hot favs among the celebs! and i wish there will some one special to be on the side n watch the match!

MDG said...

2 Long Islands and 1 shot of Jaeger to do Condi and I've dealt with the disappointed look before. ain't no thang.

BoSox Siobhan said...

The best part of this entire post is that CC is aware of threading.

Fearless Fitz said...

Do you love the Black Man?

Youtube

(hope the Youtube link works... It's firewalled for me)