Wednesday, January 3, 2007

Miami firefighters called to scene as Nick Saban's trousers burst into flames

Notorious lies:

  • "The British Government has learned that Saddam Hussein recently sought significant quantities of uranium from Africa." - Geo. W. Bush
  • "I did not have sex with that woman, Miss Lewinsky." - Bill Clinton
  • "Don't worry baby, it's only a cold sore." - Monday Morning Punter

Now we can add this whopper to this list:

"I'm not going to be the Alabama coach." - Nick Saban

That's right kids, Saban is going to Bama, all the while hoping he has a Pete Carroll-esque reputation rehab in his future. He sorely needs one because right now he looks like a liar, quitter-- and a loser to boot. Have fun jumping every time one of those fat redneck Bama boosters says so. Rammer jammer yellow hammer and all that.

Sabes sez:
Gonna raise me an army, some tough sons of bitches

I'll recruit my army from the orphan-itches

Many KSK readers in South Florida have reported seeing flames in the sky over Key Biscayne; we can confirm this is Saban burning his NFL bridges.

Now the Fish need a new coach. Dolphins owner Wayne Huizenga may have gotten some ideas while watching last night's Orange Bowl. I've got some friendly advice for Wayne Huizenga: Don't come to Louisville, Blockbuster Boy-- your ghetto pass is hereby revoked. Don't call anyone in the 502. Make other plans for the Derby. You stick to that, Wayne, and everything else is cream cheese.

No freakin' Deacon is taking these oranges.


Unsilent Majority said...

At least it's just a short trip up Highway 61.

Kickhisass_seabass said...

we got a bleeder!!!

Wickedmick said...

Would want to be the head coach with Joey Harrington and fat 300 pound, overpaid, can not read defenses Dante as your QB's?

The Pirate Sloth said...

What a set of balls on Saban huh? Stared down everyone, and sold them on him staying in Miami.

Way to go Saban. Now go try to get people in Alabama to trust in you.

Unsilent Majority said...

Now go try to get people in Alabama to trust in you.

Tricking people from Alabama is easier than distracting Ufford with a picture of Scarlett.

Suss & The Family Stone said...

When Urban Meyer was still at Bowling Green he said he wasn't leaving because he had unfinished business at BG, such as make a bowl game, win a conference, stuff like that.

Two weeks later, he's honored to be the head football coach of the University of Utah.

It's a business, c'est la vie.

Unsilent Majority said...

c'est la vie

I'm gonna need to take a look at your jew card Mr. Sussman.

OkieRover said...

I love that quote from the coach in Teen Wolf....
"There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese."
--Coach Finstock

The Dude said...

That report on the flames over Key Biscayne is actually just the giant hemorrhoid fate has dealt us down here in Miami. Saban’s gone, Pat Riley is out and Daunte Culpepper & Joey Harrington are still our quarterbacks.

Fuckity Fuck Fuck Fuck!

Chris said...

Welcome to the state of Alabama. There is another coach just down the road who said almost the exact same thing before he split for the plains. Fuck you Tommy, and no I am not bitter because we have Ed Orgeron now.

Anonymous said...

From the picture I thought Saban was signalling his real desire: to replace Mack Brown.

dan said...

I love how Saban stared directly into the ground when saying he wouldn't coach @ alabama.

Let's see, Alabama fired Don Shula's kid to create the opening. And Saban ditched the Dolphins, whose most famous coach was, Don Shula. Yeah, I'd be making reservations at one of his steakhouses real soon if I were that slimebag.

BoSox Siobhan said...

I surrender, flub. Your Cards were the better team. Enough already.