Miami firefighters called to scene as Nick Saban's trousers burst into flames

Notorious lies:

• "The British Government has learned that Saddam Hussein recently sought significant quantities of uranium from Africa." - Geo. W. Bush
  

• "I did not have sex with that woman, Miss Lewinsky." - Bill Clinton
  

• "Don't worry baby, it's only a cold sore." - Monday Morning Punter

Now we can add this whopper to this list:

"I'm not going to be the Alabama coach." - Nick Saban

That's right kids, Saban is going to Bama, all the while hoping he has a Pete Carroll-esque reputation rehab in his future. He sorely needs one because right now he looks like a liar, quitter-- and a loser to boot. Have fun jumping every time one of those fat redneck Bama boosters says so. Rammer jammer yellow hammer and all that.

Sabes sez:
Gonna raise me an army, some tough sons of bitches
I'll recruit my army from the orphan-itches

Many KSK readers in South Florida have reported seeing flames in the sky over Key Biscayne; we can confirm this is Saban burning his NFL bridges.

Now the Fish need a new coach. Dolphins owner Wayne Huizenga may have gotten some ideas while watching last night's Orange Bowl. I've got some friendly advice for Wayne Huizenga: Don't come to Louisville, Blockbuster Boy-- your ghetto pass is hereby revoked. Don't call anyone in the 502. Make other plans for the Derby. You stick to that, Wayne, and everything else is cream cheese.

No freakin' Deacon is taking these oranges.