It's time for some disclosure here. I grew up in southwestern Ohio. Furthermore, generally speaking, I look at that region of the state (and country) with a fondness that some of you may find misplaced. But I don't think of that area as particulary better or worse than any other municipality in the United States, with a few exceptions.
Indianapolis is one of them.
I've visited Indy a couple of times, and I fucking hate that place. Do you know why it's in the middle of the state? So that when people run from the stink of the eminating shit, they can't leave the state on a single tank of gas. This acutally happened once. Many years ago, when the city's septic system overflowed into the streets, people fled to their cars to evacuate the town. Only problem was, people in Indianapolis are so fucking stupid they didn't know where to go and just wound up driving in circles the whole day. This is how the Indy 500 got started.
It's like Shitheads Anonymous decided to base their world headquarters there. Their economy's tits are dragging in the proverbial sand, their taxes are too high and their women are comely at best. And their name is so fucking un-PC. Shouldn't it be Nativeamericanapolis? I mean, that's obvious to us, right? Not those fucks. They suck uncircumsized elderly cock.
So imagine my surprise when I saw that Indy was planning a bid to host the 2011 Super Bowl. A Super Bowl? That's like Finch from American Pie asking Shannon Elizabeth out on a date. What the fuck are you going to do with a Super Bowl, Indianapolis? Have the Super Bowl sit on your couch all night and look at your stamp collection?
Get real, Indianapolis. You are not a real city. You suck, everything about you sucks, and your entire surrounding collection of dirt that you call a state sucks, too. Terre Haute and Dayton laugh at you when you sleep, Indianapolis. You can't do shit. YOU ARE SHIT. Hit the bricks, Indianapolis, and beat it, because you'll get a Super Bowl when a snowball shaped like a flying monkey pops out of my ass and soars through Hell.
And in case it wasn't clear, Indianapolis, get fucked.