Sunday, January 21, 2007

The Evil of Two Lessers

Yep, it's the match-up you've all been groaning about: The Patriots and the Colts in the dome sponsored by a crappy TV manufacturer.

You know all those obnoxious people who have been chiding you all week that if you didn't want this game, you somehow weren't a true football fan? Well, those people are submoronic asshole Colts or Pats fans.

Personally, I'd like to see Dwight Freeney break Tom Brady's femur then tear over to the sideline and rip out Gisele's uterus. You know, like something out of Apocalypto.

Feel free to throw up your comments on the game or heap fellatio upon Manning or Brady during the rare moments in which the announcers don't.

NOTE: KSK Message Board thread here.

32 comments:

Grimey said...

Awesome pre-game moment, Shannon Sharpe mentioned he's been on the CBS pre-game show for three years, and either Boomer or Dan said, "Wow... it's been a long three years...."

Unsilent Majority said...

i have no beer and everybody's bailing on the bar because of the snow...i think i have to brave the elements.

Marty McMustache said...

he said what? all I heard was: "jibba jabba jibba jabba when I played jibba jibba Denver jabba dooba wild card.

Signal to Noise said...

Marino called Belichick "The Monk Man." It was still more intelligent than what came out of Sharpe's mouth (including the Indy pick), but not by much.

J.L. White said...

"A Super Bowl trip for one team" was overheard during the warm up for the game. So, what, do the Bears now no longer get to go? Will the game consist of the winning QB in this game getting felated by Peter King on the 50-yard-line at Pro Player Stadium? Should I still eat nachoes?

Marty McMustache said...

Anyone want to keep a Manning commercial count?

1

Marty McMustache said...

Anyone want to keep a Manning commercial count?

1

Signal to Noise said...

Will the game consist of the winning QB in this game getting felated by Peter King on the 50-yard-line at Pro Player Stadium?

If that's the prize for winning the AFC Championship, then both QBs will be throwing the game today.

J.L. White said...

If that's the prize for winning the AFC Championship, then both QBs will be throwing the game today.

And I'm sure Peyton would choke that one away, too.

Uncle JR said...

Christ, glad I bought that extra box of kleenex for all the slobber that's pouring out of my TV during this game.

Marty McMustache said...

Who would win in a sex-off Brady or Sexy Rexy?

J.L. White said...

With a Brady v. Sex Cannon fuck-off, you have to compare their styles. It's a battle of Quality against Quantity.

Considering that I believe Rexy is desperate enough to win such a competition by pounding a few transvestites to get over the hump (pardon the pun), then I'd give the ege to Grossman.

Grimey said...

Marty McMustache said... Who would win in a sex-off Brady or Sexy Rexy?

The fans

J.L. White said...

What happened to everybody here? Did you all become catatonic due to how utterly awesome the quarterbacks are in this game?

Grimey said...

Wow. Jesus loves New England.

J.L. White said...

No, Jesus just wants to have sex with Tom Brady.

Daniel said...

Reche Caldwell's eyeballs are gigantic.

Marty McMustache said...

the message board is better man. You don't have to typein a 40 letter long conformation if you want to talk about the sexy effects of the man they call Rex.

Uncle JR said...

I thought there was a "Raider Rule" that said that the offense couldn't recover a fumble in the end zone for a td. Or is there some special circumstance that applies.

Like, you can't be the Raiders, or this rule doesn't apply to the Patriots?

Brian Hubble said...

uncle jr.

That's the Kenny Stabler rule that says you can't intentionally kick a fumble forward.

Ruthless Gravity said...

Im rooting for the stadium to implode. That way we all win

Uncle JR said...

Stop children/
What's that Sound...

Oh, it's the sound of Manning gagging yet again.

Guess Miami had better get ready for the sex-off...

Shit.

Grimey said...

I think Colt fans are starting to boo. Already.

Marty McMustache said...

Well. I'll cheer for Sexy Rexy. You know he's got the lasting power. Lets just call the Super Bowl the money shot and all get plastic cover like the Ghallager crowd where we won't get Rexy's juice on us.

You think Miami is going to be the only town affected? Watch out Clearwater, watch out Daytona, Watch out Orlando. It's gonna be a Florida wide fuckus maximus.

Grossmaniac said...

did anyone see Bob Craft diggin for gold. Unbelievable, pick a winner. I bet five he eats it.

Go bears

Grimey said...

Alright. I get it. Rex Grossman likes to fuck. Let's move on.

Grimey said...

Bill Simmons is proven wrong... Vinny Testaverde shot a Mastercard commercial!

Marty McMustache said...

grimey,

there isn't enough time in the day to discuss Rex Grossman.

MeLovieLongTime said...

There not saying BOOOO... There saying MOOOOVERS!

xtremextine said...

grimey seems a little upset that no one is calling him a sex cannon.

becky said...

We...
are all...
Bears fans.

That being said, FUCK YES. Now all the Disciples of Dreamboat can shut the fuck UP already. Hey, Simmons et al? I never hated your team, I hated YOU. The PATRIOTS weren't irritating, the Patriots FANS were irritating! Now finally, you can go away! Huzzah!!!

Mike said...

FUCK THE BEARS!! Oh yeah, fuck the Colts and Fetus Head, too.