The celebrity Super Bowl pick is a time-honored tradition, one we at KSK are super fucking excited to be a part of. For the next two weeks, stars from the world of entertainment, politics, and more will drop by to make their picks for the big game in Miami! Next up, pop superstar Janet Jackson!
"Oooooh, football! Ooh! (coos gently) Is that the one where all the men go running around in tight pants?... (giggles gently) That sounds so... naughty!... (hugs self gently) All those bodies getting together!... (breathes heavily) I don't know, it kinda makes me want to lose control!... (plays with hair) I like to pretend that sexuality is still something that's like, totally taboo, even though society is two decades past that point! (titty falls out)... That Reggie Wayne is kinda cute (smiles disturbingly wide smile)... Ooh! (coos gently)... Ah! (coos gently again)... Hoo! (coos gently yet again)... Who to decide between those two big, hulking teams?... (grabs crotch despite lack of penis) I'll take the Bears, because Bears are SEXY! (coos)... But Colts are so muscular and strong! And SEXY! (nose falls off)... I can't decide which one I want more! (rib falls out of body)... Jimmy Jam, can you help me?"
Jimmy Jam: Just... just pick the Colts, girl. They're favored.
"Okay! Colts! Tee hee hee!"
Jimmy Jam: Uh... Janet, girl. You have to pick a score, my dear.
"Ooh! Scores are so... sexy! (lets out inexplicable 5-minute sigh) I'll say Colts 10, Bears 1."
Jimmy Jam: You can't score just one point in football, baby. It's not possible.
(suddenly flies into rage) "No, my name AIN'T Baby! It's Janet, motherfucker! Miss Jackson if you're nasty! And you are definitely fucking nasty!"
Jimmy Jam: Just, just calm down, Janet.
(starts throwing shit) "Don't you talk to me like that, you hat-wearing motherfucker!"
Thanks, Janet! More picks from the stars on the way!