Wednesday, January 24, 2007

KSK Celebrity Super Bowl Pick Bukkake: Janet Jackson!


The celebrity Super Bowl pick is a time-honored tradition, one we at KSK are super fucking excited to be a part of. For the next two weeks, stars from the world of entertainment, politics, and more will drop by to make their picks for the big game in Miami! Next up, pop superstar Janet Jackson!

"Oooooh, football! Ooh! (coos gently) Is that the one where all the men go running around in tight pants?... (giggles gently) That sounds so... naughty!... (hugs self gently) All those bodies getting together!... (breathes heavily) I don't know, it kinda makes me want to lose control!... (plays with hair) I like to pretend that sexuality is still something that's like, totally taboo, even though society is two decades past that point! (titty falls out)... That Reggie Wayne is kinda cute (smiles disturbingly wide smile)... Ooh! (coos gently)... Ah! (coos gently again)... Hoo! (coos gently yet again)... Who to decide between those two big, hulking teams?... (grabs crotch despite lack of penis) I'll take the Bears, because Bears are SEXY! (coos)... But Colts are so muscular and strong! And SEXY! (nose falls off)... I can't decide which one I want more! (rib falls out of body)... Jimmy Jam, can you help me?"

Jimmy Jam: Just... just pick the Colts, girl. They're favored.

"Okay! Colts! Tee hee hee!"

Jimmy Jam: Uh... Janet, girl. You have to pick a score, my dear.

"Ooh! Scores are so... sexy! (lets out inexplicable 5-minute sigh) I'll say Colts 10, Bears 1."

Jimmy Jam: You can't score just one point in football, baby. It's not possible.

(suddenly flies into rage) "No, my name AIN'T Baby! It's Janet, motherfucker! Miss Jackson if you're nasty! And you are definitely fucking nasty!"

Jimmy Jam: Just, just calm down, Janet.

(starts throwing shit) "Don't you talk to me like that, you hat-wearing motherfucker!"

Thanks, Janet! More picks from the stars on the way!

14 comments:

Monday Morning Punter said...

Janet's just jealous because Jimmy Jam got to be on SNL with George Steinbrenner and she never did. I have no idea how I remembered that.

Clint said...

Sweet jesus! She is something. I got the full day to spend with my boss. The one thing I didn't need is an enormous erection that needs taken care of due to a black woman all day.

MDG said...

Does Latoya get to arrest Michael now that she's a cop?

devang said...

Calm down Janet, I got your meds right here

Messiah said...

According to this, you can get 1 point in the NFL if the defense recovers a fumble in the end zone on a 2-point conversion. No one gives Janet any credit. Of course, she's presuming Dungy would go for two with the score 8-0.

Ruthless Gravity said...

or two field goals and a safety

Walklett said...

I'd like to "jam" my "jimmy" in that...huh, huh, who's with me?

peter king crowned my ass said...

Or eight free throws.

Jackin'4Beats said...

If Jermaine Dupri can hit that, then we all have a good shot at getting with Janet.

Love the gratuitous side booty shot.

highonLowe said...

I don't know, something about the entire Jackson family scares me. I'm not sayin' I wouldn't, I just sayin' it'd be get in - get out

peytonloveskenny said...

Bears are not sexy. They are killing machines.

josh said...

jimmy jam on SNL? so The Time was the musical act? man, I gotta see that show get rerun again. I always wanted to know someone named jerome, just so I could shout at him, "Where's my mirror at??"

Otto Man said...

Yeah, Janet would have to be a surgical strike -- quick, clean, and preferably done while she was under general anesthesia.

anon said...

Damn it, Janet.