Friday, January 19, 2007

ABC: Cubrir!...It's Mexicanic for Cover!

...and yes, that will be this morning's only Office reference.

Even though it's the early game the Saints and Bears won't get started until after 3 in the afternoon. Once again the NFL has caved in to the west coast lobby ensuring that LA residents have plenty of time to settle in before kickoff. This way my buddy the Sports Guy has plenty of time for a little brunch at Literati Cafe and a Starbucks stop on the way over to the Silverman/Kimmel household. It's a great life--especially if you love the LA Times, letting the Feds run amuck, and watching all of your football on television (yeah...I'm not a fan, but I am heading out there during the off-week. Bill- you, me, coffee...no Punter).

Bill, we can make this work...let's be friends!

New Orleans +2 @ Chicago

Everyone knows that these story lines are written in advance by a group known as "The Pentavirate" thus confirming the idiocy of the sentence "you couldn't write this stuff!" I wish I could say that the Cumslinger will spreading the Gospel of Rex all over South Beach during the off week, but that's not happening. I guess I'm just more influenced by Colbert than Obama.

Apropos of nothing...the Bears and the Saints make me think of the age old question, "Who would win in a fight, Ditka or God?" Personally I think both are mere confabulations of the masses...I used to believe, then I saw Ditka on ESPN. Now I don't believe in anything but uncomfortableness.

New England +3 @ Indianapolis

It's a stat you've probably heard more than a few times from assholes all over the place, but it bears repeating. Tom Brady is 10-0 in domes and that is fucking ridiculous. OK, that's it for the stats...

Whenever there's a long run of even numbers popping on the roulette wheel people take notice and start betting odd. The last time traversed that path I wound up in cuffs after impaling the croupier on his own cursed rake. It was almost Shakespearean, kind of like the tragedy that's bound to befall Peyton Manning when he meets his ultimate foil.

Marvin: Draw thy tool! here comes two of the house of the Montague Kraft.

Peyton: My naked weapon is out: quarrel, I will back thee.


I always had a feeling that those Capulets kept things in-house. Not that there's anythi...

Well that's that. I'm taking the points and I'm perfectly comfortable with that. None of these teams are significantly better than their opponents and at least one of these games ends on a field goal. If you don't listen to me you're missing out, I'm 7-1 but runs like this don't last long...the season ending doesn't help matters.

13 comments:

swing4 said...

Wait...what? I went to Literati for the first time last week! I guess I should start reading Simmons. Could've saved myself $9.00 for a tuna sandwich.

WeJamEcono said...

Tuna Sandwhich for $9? Delivered by an aspiring "actor" no doubt, who also had a script they could show you.

Hoge the HedgeHog on ESPN does not have his picks up yet. He is also 7-1, UM. But he still doesn't think you're the KSK ROY.

DougOLis said...

In all fairness, he prefers Peet's to Starbucks.

flubby said...

Taking sick people's weed? Weak.

Unsilent Majority said...

I have no idea if the SG actually goes to Literati, it's just a guess. How weird would it be if I actually predicted his entire day...

MDG said...

Is Ditka Mini?

WeJamEcono said...

Also, every ESPN "expert" is picking New Orleans, which means that they will now lose. The bandwagon just slid off the road in an ice storm on the way north to Chicago and is stuck in a ditch outside Matoon.

Unsilent Majority said...

entirely possible

doug_plank said...

My unbias opinion-

Bears-38
Aints-35

highonLowe said...

I feel hatred towards all remaininng teams except the Bears, (NE=fans, Colts=manning hype, Saints=NFC South) so, go Bears by default, I guess...

pradajames said...

As a resident of LA with a "hernia", I would like to totally, like, express my dissapointment, man, with like, the feds and stuff.

the chief said...

Not only is every ESPN expert taking the Saints and all but two taking the Colts - ESPN's own Accuscore thingie is picking the Bears and the Pats to win. At a young age I was taught not to tease or poke fun at people who were different, but these assclowns really test my discipline. It's a good thing I have a hobby to release the tension. I mean, milkshakes are not gonna throw themselves at the homeless, am I right?

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