It's playoff time, so we at KSK asked a high-ranking NFL scout to analyze the playoff matchups. This man was offered anonymity in exchange for his complete and utter candor. In this post, he analyzes the Colts-Chiefs game:
"The key to this game is coaching. Take Tony Dungy for example, he's a guy who knows a little something about the playoffs...'That's how our league is set up, and that's how you win championships -- by winning in the playoffs.' That's the kind of outside-the-box thinking that just doesn't show up on a resume... What separates Larry Johnson from the rest of the league's running backs is his powerful ass and Dungy knows it. 'He's [got] a great back[side]. We'll have our hands full.' Everybody around the league has been gushing over LJ's matchup against the Colts, well I don't buy it. It's Herm Edwards' time to shine, so when you see a glare on your television remember, it's probably just the lights reflecting off of his glowing cheeks.
Us NFL insiders know a little secret that the common fan would never think of, it's all about the names--so keep an eye on the Chiefs Rudy Niswanger. He doesn't really play but his jersey makes all the other players giggle... The game could come down to a bucket of fried chicken, you see the Colts are undefeated when Bob Sanders dines on the Colonel's finest before taking the field. Apparently the Colonel had a little something in common with Tony Romo's great great great grandmother... Dominic Rhodes pronounces his name "Dominique" which is fucking bullshit, if your parents botch the birth certificate it's too fucking bad (isn't that right Dwyane?)... I don't trust Ty Law or anybody else with a five letter name.
Kyle Turley is the first guy to ever play in the NFL with Down Syndrome, truly inspirational... Injuries could be a bit of an issue, I'm hearing whispers that Priest Holmes may not be healthy enough to play--what a fuckin' pussy... Tamba Hali is from Liberia, a country with far less liberty than their name would indicate--very sneaky Liberian Tourism Association... If you think the scout up there looks creepy you should see Peyton Manning in a room full of lustful women...awk-ward.
I like the Colts by by a dozen."
Now THAT is some good analysis. Suck it, Ditka!