I wasn't gonna make any more fun of Peter King because he seems like a nice guy. And really, where do you go after graphically depicting him taking in Tony Romo's Meat Thermometer?
Then, of course, he wrote this:
In one of the biggest games of his pressurized nine-year NFL career, Peyton Manning played with the cool detachment of the greatest Colt of them all, Johnny Unitas, on Saturday.
Is this some sort of Bizarro Unitas no one informed me of?
It wasn't anywhere near the best game of his life, but under the circumstances -- a playoff game in the city that now lives to hate the Colts, against a Baltimore defense that was both the most feared and top-rated in the NFL this season -- it was one of the most rewarding.
Colts 15, Revenge 6.
Payback? This time, it's for real! In your face, Baltimore! You somehow managed to suck worse!
In beating the Ravens, the AFC's second seed, Manning showed how ridiculous a stat quarterback rating is, compiling a woeful 39.6 rating. But he completed 15 of 30 passes, was sacked only once and threw two interceptions (one a Hail-Mary sort of punt) while controlling the line of scrimmage throughout and taking away the Baltimore defense's aggressiveness.
It's true. The rating should more accurately reflect a game where Manning completed 50% of his throws, threw two picks (oh, I'm sorry, one very strategic punt), and threw two other balls that should have been intercepted. What a masterwork!
He outplayed his co-2003 MVP, Baltimore quarterback Steve McNair, who threw two terribly inopportune interceptions in Indianapolis territory.
You know who else outplayed Steve McNair yesterday? EVERYONE. Including the punter. We have entered some sort of new level of dicksuckery, where King is actively trying to convince me that I saw something I very much did not, and I don't like it. The Colts only won the past two weeks because Archie Manning went to HNIC Roger Goddell and demanded his kid win a Super Bowl. Peter King, you are an enabler of shitty quarterbacking. Knock it off, or there's more gay porn in your future.