Tuesday, January 2, 2007

It's Like Being Raped, Passing Out From Trauma, And Then Waking Up To Discover You're Still Being Raped


I just... I just really don't know what to say to you Detroit fans out there. You get at least one more year of this colossal shitdick, and likely more beyond that. This is the point where seething hatred transforms into callous indifference. There's a whole generation of kids growing up in Michigan who will eschew buying tickets to Ford Field and spend their time auditioning for Pants Off Dance Off. And that's as it should be.

Ford's slogan is "Bold Moves". Know what would be a bold move, William Clay Ford? Dying. Dying so that the Lions can fire this braindead asshole and your company can produce a car that won't end up on a fucking Avis lot within two weeks off the line.

At least Al Davis has the courtesy to be currently dying. Why don't you try the same, shitbox?

21 comments:

PANGER said...

don't give al davis any credit until he actually dies.

swing4 said...

No kidding. Even the Pope thought Al Davis would go first.

Larry Bird Flu said...

Even George W. Bush thinks that William Clay Ford is being a little inflexible and obstinate here.

The Angry Rant said...

You gotta wonder what kind of blackmail photos Millen has of Ford, because I cannot find a rational reason why he still has his job.

- Cavorting with Michael Jackson?
- Donkey show in Tijuana where he enjoyed the finale a little TOO much?
- A quiet night with a midget, a bowling pin set, 3 quarts of Oil of Olay and Robin Leach narrating?

Signal to Noise said...

the angry rant: none of the above.

Millen has a photo of Ford driving a Honda.

feep said...

why does it hurt so bad? however millen has vowed to improve this program by finally capturing that #1 pick next year. that is ambition.

J.L. White said...

The Ford Family strives to mirror the success with their car company with that of the NFL franchise. In that, as their cars become lifeless hunks of steel with wheels on the bottom, so shall the Lions be.....well, you know.

Getting rid of Joey Harrington was a parallel move to Ford discontinuing the Taurus. And keeping Millen around is like leaving a giant turd in the backseat.

matt said...

i've watched probably 95% of the lions' snaps in the last 35 or so years, and today is the first time i've honestly been able to say...

i wish that guy was dead.

Unsilent Majority said...

somewhere becky is drowning her sorrows in some sex

Palm Dry Gum On said...

Ford just never learns from their mistakes. Their car company doesn't make money, they have to shut down factories in the US and they had to sell Hertz to earn some cash.

And you expect them to make rational decisions on the football field?

Maybe Calvin Johnson should reconsider coming out next year, because if he does enter the draft he'll be in Detroit.

rock_n_rye said...

With the 2nd pick Millen will get confused and draft Adrian McPherson instead of Adrian Peterson. People in Detroit will be too busy trying to watch the Tigers without getting stabbed to notice

Signal to Noise said...

palm dry - no way. Calvin's stock dropped so bad that he could probably sue Reggie Ball for the lost millions in court and win.

Bulger in My Pants said...

Fuck him. At least my Taurus had the decency to fuck off, die, and put me out of my misery after owning it 4 short years. W.C. Ford will probably survive nuclear holocaust. Ass.

Matt said...

But if they fire him, who will draft Jeff Samardzija?

Becky said...

I'm going to go back to the school days for a little corollary.

Sexy Rexy is to panty removal, as news about Matt Millen staying is to putting on a burqua. And crying incessantly. And needing a drink, regardless of the fact that it is barely the breakfast hour.

(Plus, Mr. Becky never showered yesterday, so he was kinda icky.)

highonLowe said...

Calvin is still a top 3 pick.
I see the Lions drafting the very average Brady Quinn, but I know nothing about the organization, thankfully.

S.S.S. said...

Just a note to everyone here: W.C. Ford has next to nothing to do with Ford Motor Company, other than sharing the name. His son, Bill Ford Jr. was the CEO of Ford Motor Company for a while, but the old man hasnt had anything to do with FMC in decades. As far as I know, the only thing that old geezer does it sit down in his mansionin Florida and collect interest on his family's inheritance. God I loathe him...

XavierMusketeer said...

1. Matt Millen:Lions::Isiah Thomas:Knicks

A. Iceberg:Titanic::Fire:Hindenberg

B. Kurt Cobain:Heroin::Mama Cass:Ham Sandwich

C. Nick Saban:Miami Dolphins::Thad Matta:Xavier Musketeers

D. Barbaro:Horse Racing::Theismann:Football

Who said the SAT doesn't translate?

Otto Man said...

don't give al davis any credit until he actually dies.

True. The Raiders always find a way to screw it up when it comes down to the wire. Davis will probably get an offsides penalty in his final moments.

Awful Chief said...

Our only hope is for the State of Michigan to step in.

The Last Unitard said...

Neandertard rides again.