Saturday, January 13, 2007

That Sweet, Sweet Playoff Pussy



Yes, KSK spokescat Jean Grey is ready for some blackout-inducing playoff viewing. Unfortunately, her owner is at work. On a Saturday night. With playoff football on.

Anyway, this is a filler post to give people to chance to sound off on the playoff games and to call me lame for posting more pictures of my cat, working on the weekend and drinking Jap beer out of big cans.

Fire away.

UPDATE!

Hey, Cleveland Browns of Baltimore: Break out the Mayflower trucks, you sorry sacks of Grimace shit dipped in Natty Boh. You just lost to Peyton Manning and the Colts at home in January. You scored six points on that mighty Indy defense. The McNair Face was more sunken and bitter than the Manning Face. Suck it long, suck it hard and stay off the pay phones, you sluts.

UPDATE #2

Halftime in New Orleans. Up until that first Garcia touchdown pass, it looked like I picked the perfect day to have to watch playoff games on 13-inch screen TVs on mute at work, but, alas, this one seems to be shaping up pretty well. Seems that someone didn't plant land mines in all the endzones after all. There's even been some accidental obscenity on network TV, but it's not a boob shot, so the culture at large may not implode just yet. Joe Buck would've had a field day though. He'll just have to settle for chastening the Sex Cannon for his high jinx on the sidelines tomorrow.

UPDATE #3

Holy shit, doubling the total of Saints playoff victories! Well, those two games were certainly the antithesis of each other. Reggie Bush dodges a bullet, veers from the path of a goat back to media-appointed G.O.A.T., at least to people who didn't gamble on the Saints covering - methinks UM is pissed. Jeff Garcia gets to brag to A-Rod back at the bathhouse that he at least put up a valiant effort in the loss. And Andy Reid may regret not trying to go for that 4th and 15, perhaps.

I'll be at a Patriots bar in Alexandria tomorrow in my Steelers finery so I can probably count on getting taunted by some displaced Massholes and hopefully get to do some ribbing of my own by game's end.

35 comments:

J.L. White said...

Why is there toilet paper on your coffee table?

swing4 said...

I hope that pink lighter belongs to the cat.

flubby said...

j.l., I imagine it makes a serviceable, albeit unsightly, bar rag

Christmas Ape said...

It's orange, swing4. Just for that - GEAUX SAINTS

Unsilent Majority said...

A lighter, a bowl, and vsop...i'm on my way!

Wickedmick said...

Heres hoping tat Jean Grey pees on the bar rag while your at work.

becky said...

too easy...just like your MOM

Unsilent Majority said...

his mom's in a coma

swing4 said...

This game has the least inspired announcing ever. Have you guys considered getting the KSKGM together to do a live audio feed of you calling the playoff games? Of course, you would have to figure out a way to transmit from Ape's cubicle...but I would totally tune in.
You could even take calls during half-time. Who among you hasn't wondered what thebigo sounds like live? Yeah, me neither.

The Pirate Sloth said...

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Fuck the Ravens.

Crizzle said...

Nice to see all the cracked out Bittermorons from the city that should be nuked crying their eyes out.

I wish I could rent a mayflower truck and drive it up and down the cracked streets of that pathetic city right now.

4giantsfans said...

Now all the crack house douchebags can go home and eat crabs from their chewbacca looking wives pussies.

I'm still bitter from the giants loss last week, and i'm from Jersey so I hate everyone.

Grimey said...

Give it up for the Colts, they were doing the Lord's work. Watching the Ravens in the playoffs is worse than being locked in a college alumni function with Starland Vocal Band's "Afternoon Delight" playing on repeat 99 times.

Plus it means that Michael Irvin is wrong.

flubby said...

Sucks you have to work tonight, Ape. What time does Domino's close anyway?

Captain Caveman said...

That Garcia touchdown bomb was Grossmanesque.

dusty said...

VSOP and Sapporo? Dude..your a trip! Hope that bowl is loaded with good stuff and not that brown, cheap shit. Nice pussy!

My game is on tomorrow..I have all the things needed for either a great game or a horrid loss..finest cannabis money can buy and A LOT of skyy vodka.

I saw that chick too..I was amazed the network didn't catch it quicker. She's a peach isn't she?

Real Men Eat Haggis said...

I hate both these teams so much, I'd have preferred a double forfeit

Ray Lewis (the pile jumper) sucks. He missed more tackles than a blind cameraman

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Geez. After I got over the projectile vomiting induced by the self congratulatory dick weeds on Deadspin, I figured that anything is better than that circle jerk. It is clear that is a bunch of shitweasels involved in a cirle jerk of self love. What a bunch of douchebags.
It is clear none of the "commentators" got cut from the JV football team in middle school, and spent the rest of their misbegotten lives saying "I could have played better then those guys."
Yea, and I am the Pope of Edenbrook.
I grow tired of these self absorbed nitwits saying that these games are dull or uninteresting. If that were true, I would suggest they get a fucking life.
You could also turn to the Hawaiian Open. Hell, Twister was on HBO if you are that damn bored.
I think the Starter wife probably gets hot watching Helen Hunt. Hell, I do.
I had a starter wife, and she was a five year waste of time. Second wife was far, far better.
Further this affiant sayeth not...

Signal to Noise said...

That Garcia touchdown bomb was Grossmanesque.

Butt Sex Cannon, anyone?

Deuce is making the Iggles look like crap, but Brian Westbrook is a bad man.

I thought the Ravens would teabag Peyton repeatedly, but I'm happy with the outcome -- nothing worse than the Ravens advancing, and nothing better than those whiny Balmurr people still bitching about Irsay's Midnight Move and forgetting that they stole the Cleveland Browns getting beaten after crying and moaning in a SportsCenter weepie.

GEAUX SAINTS.

becky said...

because FUCK the eagles, that's why!!!

peter king crowned my ass said...

Wow. Who Dat.

Grimey said...

zyfhnDid you guys see Eddie Munster on the field at the Superdome? He got FAT.

Signal to Noise said...

Andy Reid, you deserve to lose for deciding that 4th and 10 was worth going for but not 4th and 15.

4giantsfans said...

Andy Reid said that he thought they could stop the Saints from running when he punted on 4th and 15. How the fuck was he going to do that when Duece dropped a duece on them all game and Bush fucked them with a strap on?

That being said, fuck the Philthies!!

Unsilent Majority said...

fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck

vw: inbdy

am i high or does that mean something?

4giantsfans said...

It means a lot UM, it means a lot

Becky said...

I have to say, it's nice the Saints won and all, good story, but it may have been kind of nice to see who would win a "Walrus Bowl" between Reid and Holmgren.

4giantsfans said...

I'm getting another beer. Booyah is on the WWL.

4giantsfans said...

+1 Becky

Effern said...

+10 Signal to Noise

GEEEAAAAAUUUUUUUXXXXXX SAIIIIIINNNNNNNNNTSSSSSSS

Go Bears too, but only tomorrow.

WeJamEcono said...

A terrible towel being used to catch the ash and spill. Like it should be.

don't forget Ape's pussy on the couch waiting for the action.

Apothecaries' Weight said...

Ug.

Colts at Ravens.

Four hours watching football played by the living dead.

I think Seattle getting the shithammer tomorrow will be better entertainment.

"Sex Cannon".

Hahahahaha!

Laser Rocket Arm said...

Usually when Peyton sucks in the playoffs the Colts lose ... but amazingly they haven't. Then again, considering Ray Lewis tipped two balls away that would have been sure INTs, there might be some weight to the "Archie instructed Goodell to let the Colts win the Super Bowl" theory.

FenwayFaithful78 said...

How dare you soil Muphys!

That's wicked smaht buddy. Pissin off a room full of drunk Bostonians.

Did you not see what happened after the Yankee game around Fenway?

Rufus T. Firefly said...

It appears all you amateur pundits who called for the shithammer to hit the Hawks were operating under your typical misapprehensions. Seattle could have and should have won that game. Babineux screwed the pooch twice, once on the interception that turned into a big gain for DaBears, and the other on letting Berrian get behind him for a long TD. Frankly, if there was a shit hammer, it hit the Bears. No matter, since New Orleans will beat the Bears like the red headed step child next week.
but thanks for commenting in the absence of anyone who knew anything about football....