(Thanks to With Leather for the original tip-off.)
You probably remember KSK poet laureate Sarah Spain. Well, she really wants to go to the Super Bowl. So she went ahead and did what any of us would do if we needed a date, she put herself on eBay to be auctioned off to the highest bidder.
Sarah, who holds a Bachelor's Degree in English from Cornell, advertised to be in Miami next Sunday, where her Bears will play in Super Bowl XLI. She auctioned (?) off the privilege to take her to the game. "I LOVE football, LOVE the Bears, can drink with the best of them, and let's be honest, I'm darn cute," her ad reads. "This need not be said, but just in case...I am NOT an escort. This is a good ol' fashioned date. I will however buck tradition and, as the lady, spring for the beer and food. Only SERIOUS inquiries."
Um, actually, I'm almost certain that it needed to be said. But the free nachos and beer would have been, um, nice.
And the bids for a seat on the Spain Train rolled in; 116 bids have already maxed out the eBays, literally, at $ 99,999,999. "Bidder 43" is the lucky (and so to be broke, maybe) man. The bidders appeared reputable by the little colored stars by there names, but after the bids made steep jumps to 5k, 40k, and 100k, it kinda looked like bullshit. We're watching the page to see what happens.
We don't know if Sarah is going to the Super Bowl or not. Do we care? I typed up the following as bids were rolling in; it was just fucking surreal, so I feel obligated to leave it in:
You hear people talk about punitive damages and slave reparations and you think to yourself, "How can you put a price on a person's life like that?" In a way, I am asking myself that very question right now. Sarah, from what little I've seen, is one of Those Girls that, if she came up to and smiled and started talking to you, you'd swear someone was playing a joke on you, fucking with you. But in that time it takes you to doubt, that time when you actually think that she thought you were interesting, worth talking to, you feel like King Of The Fucking World. How much would somebody pay to have that feeling? The answer is unfolding before our very eyes, as guys are outbidding each other for just a taste.
"This is as exciting as watching the first round of the NCAA Tournament," I yelled over the cubicle wall as I told my colleages about the auction.
"Hell, no!" Tex replied. "This is way better!"
So it was pretty exciting for a while. But, things being what they are now, it looks like a glorified, eight-figure cocktease. We may get answers from Sarah herself sometime today if she answers our email, provided she's not too busy counting her newfound fortune, or "busy making out with [her] friends and admiring [her] own rack."If something super-awesome comes out of this, we'll pass it along. But, until then, we're pretty much done.
UPDATE: eBay finally took down the page.