Monday, January 22, 2007

The Most Important Game In the History of the World

Note: I'm aware that my picks were bent over and violated yesterday while the ESPN experts were up to the task. This once again proves that I'm a dumbass and you shouldn't take anything I say seriously (except for this sentence...seriously).

In two weeks the future of the world will be at stake. I question the sanity of anyone who can even bother with next week's State of the Union; war is hell, but hell is other people--people like Peyton Manning. Yeah the world's in a fragile state right now, but just imagine the horror of a world in which Peyton Manning is a champion. If you want to understand the potential fallout of that occurrence I urge you to watch the FOX network's special one hour preview this evening.

In the meantime I'll be praying to every God listed on Wikipedia for the Chicago Bears and their glorious quarterback. Right now I love the Bears nearly as I much as I love Gilbert Arenas (and I want his babies). The only possible way to explain my newfound love for the giant killers of the Midwest is through the majesty of YouTube.

24 comments:

Clint said...

1st!

The bears are pretty much my reason for living right now.

$klimp$ said...

Da queers.

Brando said...

The only thing better would be if the Colts were facing a team full of mini Ditkas.

TJ said...

Let the shuffle headline puns begin!

FenwayFaithful78 said...

If Sexy Rexy does the 2007 Superbowl Shuffle-God help the female race. My jeans might spontaneously combust!

Go Bears!! Because I refuse to let Manning win a superbowl plowing over the Pats.

Becky said...

I predict serious flooding in Miami during the first weekend in February... having nothing to do with the weather and everything to do with the ladies.

peter king crowned my ass said...

Finally, a Blak head coach will get him sumptin.

Y'all a bunch o' honkies.

Communist Dan said...

Did you ever notice that Sexy Rexy throwing deep looks remarkably like Uncle Rico throwing the football in Napolean Dynamite? Just wanted to point that out to you.

Clint said...

You mean, Rexy "throwing" the ball. He only throws it deep dude.

Can you imagine Swerski and company talking about "Rexy"????? OMG that'd be too much.

"Now we wanna pay homage, to a certain young gun cumslinging Quarterback, or a certain team known for it's Polish Sausage, Da Cumslinger"

"Daaaaaaaa Cum-slinger".

Jebbus said...

I like my drivers like I like my high-definition televisions: with MEEEEEEERS.

Clint said...

http://it-gets-late-early-out-here.blogspot.com/2007/01/he-everywhere.html

More Rex Goodies

doug_plank said...

I bet Rex can throw a ball over a mountain.

peter king crowned my ass said...

Clint, you gots a 16-month engagement? U crzy, dawg?!?!?!?!?!

doug_plank said...

Fetus head getting his excuse ready-

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/playoffs06/news/story?id=2739114

Clint said...

Crazy like Cumslinger my brotha!!

Christmas Ape said...

I'm so happy for Coca-Cola Blak, GYHOMB.

Happy Fun Miles said...

I hope to god Peyton's thumb is broken, and the Colts have to start Jim Sorgi in the Super Bowl.

That would be 17 kinds of awesome.

Unsilent Majority said...

guys...let it go.

Chamomiles Davis said...

Bob Swerski never did fully recover from that dreadful heart attack, did he? I mean, he made one appearance and was never heard from again. It's been 16 years; at this point you've got to assume the worst. Come on Bears, win it for Swerski!

Clint said...

For Swerski!

(Super Fans Tap Classes and Drink full mugs of Grossman Semed)

The Andre Waters Experience said...

Let's get this straight: if the Colts lose to the Bears, it opens to door to another year (at least) of snarky Simmons columns.

And y'all want the Bears to win? Are you high?

(If Vick is reading: don't answer that.)

Unsilent Majority said...

a. yes i'm high

b. simmons can write to his hearts content and i can be a selective reader

8hrdrive said...

Gilbert Arenas 51, Chicago Bears 10

highonLowe said...

Bears win by a baker's dozen