Monday, January 22, 2007

Bengals Already In Midseason Form

Yeah, so the Bengals were pretty pissed about their 8-8 record this past campaign (eight player arrests in eight months, that is). Already, they're looking to atone, but you've got to go that extra mile and do what it takes to be number one. And CB Johnathan Joseph is number one. Arrest number one, as Joseph was caught with pot while in the car of a female acquaintance.

This is what separates the Bengals from the rest of the league. Did dude try to hide it in a makeshift water bottle compartment? Hell 2 da naw. He had it in a backpack, which the cop managed to smell once he pulled over the vehicle. That's right. And, oh yeah, the driver? She was driving UNDER THE SPEED LIMIT while WEAVING OVER THE CENTER LINE. AND she had a suspended license.

That's how we roll in the 'nati, motherfucker!

20 comments:

Clint said...

1st, again.

JJ really fucked up. I bet Marvin will smack his hands once and tell him he's bad. Then he'll award him the starting CB job right after.

This Suit Is Not Black said...

"Female" used loosely...check out ms. kelsy glover at The Cincinnati Enquirer...just scroll to the bottom

Unsilent Majority said...

this is bullshit, at this point the cops are making a game out of this. i'm willing to bet they have a scoreboard back at the precinct and everything.

8hrdrive said...

This could happen to every professional sports team in the country.

Someone pissed off the mayor.

Unsilent Majority said...

this could happen to every high school in the country! legalize it!!!

BillParcellsMidsection said...

Did JJ tell the cops he was "an aspiring artist" ?

BillParcellsMidsection said...

Did JJ tell the cops he was 'an aspiring artist'?

BillParcellsMidsection said...

Oopsie on the double post homies

josh said...

NFL players should have better-sealed bags. And more attractive, less-fucked up lady drivers. I thought cats and dogs didn't get along.

(Rim-shot!)

drazilla said...

The best part is that it was a Super Bowl backpack. If my Bengals can't make it to the big game at least they can hide their doja in a licensed satchel.

Grossmaniac said...

this headline is fine with me. At least it isn't the TUNA retires stealing my Bears headlines, I can't believe this fool announces his retirement today. I hate ESPN, what a crock of shit. ESPN can blow me, and if the Tuna takes the miami job, HE can eat my ass. Who does this guy think he is stealing my sexy headline time.

Undead Zombie Horde said...

Bill Parcells is a joke. He a manipulative man-titty who is a over-rated ESPN "product." When was the last time he put together a great team? The '96 Pats? And he sabotaged them the week of the SuperBowl. Prick.

*and I say that being Non-Pats homer

WhiteDawg said...

thats is how we roll...god damn fucking idiots...well what can you expect from the Bengals. Palmer is next...I'm calling it.

Unsilent Majority said...

you didn't hear it from me...but Carson eats babies.

J.L. White said...

Answer me this: How would it feel to be in the Cincinnati lockeroom and NOT have been arrested before? If you think about it, Justin Smith is a free agent, Willie Anderson is getting up in the years, and Shayne Graham is going to get cut because he's a stupid fuck who can't kick a fucking PAT.

Right now, Carson Palmer, Rudi Johnson, Ocho Cinco and T.J. Houshman......whaterver, need to rob a bank. In broad daylight, no masks, and while wearing their own uniforms. It will bring harmony to the team, and prevent one of them from getting shanked in the shower.

Becky said...

This in no way deflects the fact that Sexy Rexy would have sprayed the arresting officer before uttering "I'm bringing Rexy Back, Bitches!"

And, I am drunk.

Beantown said...

UM - I have heard that the cops were targeting the Bengals players as well. But it could be that "stupid" is just an easy target.

OkieRover said...

unsilent:
I guarantee they do!
It's almost too easy to get these guys.
I don't get it.
What is wrong with these people?

highonLowe said...

Marijuana prosecution is the biggest waste of tax-payer money ever (well, except for gov-subsized sports arenas for billionaires). Just fucking write a mail-in citation and leave it at that.

jawz said...

You'd think he could have done this before the end of the regular season, but no, of course not. I could have won a gang of money in a friendly "How many Bungals will get locked up by the end of the regular season?" pool.

At least it's a good excuse to continue wearing my "WHO DEY! WHO DEY! gonna arrest next" shirt.