Thursday, January 17, 2008

Randy Moss Hit with Restraining Order, Chargers Look to Follow Suit

[Sunday]

[Ext. Gillette Stadium]

Tom Brady: La la la, getting off my private helicopter. Time to go to another Super Bowl. (whistles merry tune)

Mornin', Joe. How's the wife?


Security Guard: I'm sorry, Mr. Brady, but you can't come in.

Tom Brady: What do you mean? I have a game to play.

Security Guard: (holds up piece of paper) Restraining order here says you're not allowed within 500 yards of the San Diego Chargers defense.

Brady: WHAT? That's preposterous.

Security Guard: Something about (reads) "...offensive nature inhibits San Diego Chargers from peacefully and successfully running business operations."

Brady
: "Offensive nature"?!? I'm the QUARTERBACK.

Security Guard: So then you see the logic.

Brady: NO! I don't see the logic! Who would do such a thing?!?

[door flies open]


Philip Rivers: Ya betta ask somebodddaaaaaayyyyyyyy!!!

27 comments:

Hercules Rockefeller said...

That's it. I'm buying a [door flies open] t-shirt.

You guys are on fire w/ that shit.

peter king crowned my ass said...

no "character assassination" tag?

MCBias said...

All right, that made me laugh, just because picturing Rivers at court convincing the judge to file the restraining order would be classic.
Judge: So you say he's a menace, eh?
Philip: A menace to my reputation, Judge! Just because he's "Dreamboat" doesn't make me "Tugboat"! I keep telling the Boston fans they're hurting my feelings, but they won't listen! You have to intervene, judge!

Steve said...

You missed the part where Brady asks to see a copy of the restraining order. Rivers crumples the paper and tosses it to Brady. It stays airborne for 45 seconds and falls at his feet.

Wormfather said...

That was hawt. Between kidnapping My Buddy and filing a restraining order, I'm taking the Chargers sunday.

Chargers and the Giants in a suicide parlay...bwa ha ha ha ha haaaaaa.

Upstate Underdog said...

This is real right ? Rivers really got a restraining order ?

Chris(BessMervinGirlDetective) said...

Rivers = Sylar from heroes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RS3dEFX1Zuk

Mike said...

Marmalard = Jim Nabors

http://www.fiftiesweb.com/tv/jim-nabors-c.jpg

smurphette said...

"And Blair Witch Project was about to come on Starz, and you were like, 'I haven't seen this in forever' and you wanted to watch it, but then you were like 'Oh no, we should just make out instead. La la la.'"
- TB, after Bridget gave him the big news

Otto Man said...

I've always heard that Brady's pretty good in chair.

Phony Gwynn said...

Am I the only one that hears the A*Team theme when looking at that helicopter picture?

Smello said...

Thundercats are a GOOOOOOOO!

futuremrsrickankiel said...

These things need theme music in the worst way. I'm thinking at the end of this, Tom Brady turns to look at the camera and shrug, a befuddled look on his face, and we get one of those "wah-wahhhh" sounds from the Flintstones?

Bobby said...

i laugh everytime i see rivers... hilarious

John John The Bastard said...

@futuremrs: It's a living.

hi there mary said...

Rivers then immediately reveals he has stolen 'My Buddy' and goes Osi Umenyiora on it while Tom sobs T.O. style "That's MY Buddy! It's not fair!" from the distance determined in the restraining order.

Undead Zombie Horde said...

I really am having a hard time decidiing between the [door flies open] and "Ya betta ask somebodddaaaaaayyyyyyyy!!!" shirts.

Jason said...

It's gotta be the [door flies open] shirt.

Also, that damn pic of Rivers is almost as funny as the Jason Garrett headshot.

dlchambers said...

Where does the "Ya betta ask somebodddaaaaaayyyyyyyy!!!" quote come from... did Rivers say that?

Steve said...

@dlchambers

As far as we know, Rivers has never said that. But Marmalard has, he loves saying it.

dlchambers said...

Ah, Marmalard:
http://gorillamask.net/uscprez.shtml

The Pirate Sloth said...

This just got me in trouble at my meeting because I just laughed my ass off.

But it was all good because it broke the tension/boredom in the room and we're now taking a lunch break.

Nathan said...

I think we need a shirt that goes:
[door flies open]

Picture of Marmalard

"Ya betta ask somebodddaaaaaayyyyyyyy!!!"

I suppose the picture is optional and may not be subtle enough, but that shit makes me laugh every time.

DCD said...

What's great about these is I knew exactly what was coming and I still laughed my ass off...I'm actually tempted to make a sign with "Ya betta ask somebodddaaaaaayyyyyyyy!!!" on it and take it to the game...

Chip Fu said...

1/4 vinegar + 1/4 water + 2/4 jim beam will allow me to say shit like "come on Rivers! throw a strike in there you badass!!!!!"

Clutch Is Everything said...

Im assuming this is true .. so im taking the Chaaahgizz this sunday

Jay said...

It's times like these I wish people I knew read this blog. That way, I could wear a Marmalard shirt and not be looked at like I was fucking crazy.