Thursday, January 3, 2008

Thanks, Suckers!

Suck it, fuck-oes! I lack class, ethics, hygiene, tact, diction and people who love me but one thing I don't is a Coach of the Year Award. It feels so good in my bindle. All the other guys down at the train yard will be jealous of my big trophy. I wonder how it'll burn in a big metal trash can?

Mumblemumblemumblemumblemumblemumblemumblemumble.

28 comments:

Unsilent Majority said...

Hobo Joe Junkpan would be proud...if he hadn't led a movement to outlaw pride while serving as the secretary of the treasury.

Harry Ballzana said...

That picture is as good as real.

the great bambi said...

don't forget fuckface mcgee is probably sleeping with your wife and while he may be homeless, he'll still buy his ladies a home...

quiet strength said...

Borrowing BDD's interview questions that should be asked:

"Wow Tom, 16-0! That's quite an accomplishment, especially since you didn't get caught cheating all year!"

"Oh yeah. That was week one with the whole videotaping cheating...but still! I mean 15 games straight without cheating! And won them all!"

"Riiiight...I forgot about Harrison's HGH...uh...that Randy Moss sure was great until they started calling him for when he pushes off, eh?"

"How about that running game!?"

"Well good luck finishing your season exactly like the 2005 Colts."

futuremrsrickankiel said...

"It feels so good in my bindle."

Damn you. That's my line.

Grimey said...

Here, Belicheat, have a trophy

Thorsdaddy said...

being a fuckface asshole is forgivable, but being an unfunny fuckface asshole makes you a proud member of Kissing Suzy Kolber!

Christmas Ape said...

ZING!

the great bambi said...

@ thorsdaddy

and belichick's been funny when (dressing homeless doesn't count)? damn you KSK you never told us that homeless bastard was on the payroll, did i need to pay for that part of the website?

Thorsdaddy said...

psst... while you're here trying to feel superior... the Coach is banging your wife.

Christmas Ape said...

While you're being a stay-at-home dad ...tending to your kid...over using ellipses...your wife is earning all your money...and banging another guy.

Pemulis said...

cat fight!!!!!

JAMMQ said...

All MILF's and Massholes bow down before King Belichick.

Crazy Little Thing said...

Ape, why do your posts lead to this kind of garbage? Also, I don't think Cletus sounds like he's from New England.

Christmas Ape said...

I blame my winning personality and willingness to engage assholes in meaningless but pitched battles.

SlideShow Bob said...

Meow

Christmas Ape said...

I also blame Sean Mahan.

Pemulis said...

i blame the internet, and the return of swing music

miamidiesel said...

@thorsdaddy: I'll give you credit for not just having another Generic Cockwhore Masshole Commenter handle like, inter alia, robert, christopher, tim, rusty, scott, david, or allie, which are just a few I remember seeing over the course of this season. Unless of course your first name is in fact "Thorsdaddy", in which case I take it back. Having said that, why the fuck would you take pride in Belichick fucking other people's wives? Then again, I suppose since your wife is fucking him right now in order to support your family and your crack habit, badmouthing the man might put the brakes on your gravy train.

@Ape: don't ever let the dregs and Sean Mahans of the world get to you man. X-Mas Ape fuck the world!

futuremrsrickankiel said...

Seriously, dude, it's possible to be a New England fan and not get Asshole all over everyone you talk to.

Do you live in Quincy?

Unsilent Majority said...

I know a Boston fan who's not an asshole.

One.

John S. said...

Well... the grammar checks out in this one.

Query: Does the Masshole lame name thing apply if "Thorsdaddy's" son is named Thor?

P.S. I know ONE stay at home dad. One. And he is about as fem as fem can get. Seriously, hands on the hips when he talks to his kids and everything.

allie said...

personally, I think belichick is hilarious. I watch his press conferences mostly for humor value. well, that, and to see what ridiculous outfit gisele bought her boyfriend this week.

bfreakin3 said...

Where does Bill rank in the Association of Springfield Semi-pro Boxers? His veteran savvy has to put him ahead of Soupcan Sam.

Shoopmonster said...

@bfreakin3
I couldn't believe that reference didn't make the post. That's all that I could think about. Well that and luscious breasts, of course.

Rant_Casey said...

That's it. I can only take so much of this shit. I've sat idly by for months on end watching my team get bashed relentlessly (and usually deservedly). But this time, this time, you've gone too far! How can you say Belichick lacks tact??? Erroneous!

Comicbook Guy said...

nice to see the bum STILL FRICKEN WINNIN YA BASTIDS!

Robut M. Nixon said...

@futuremrsrickankiel

Seriously, dude, it's possible to be a New England fan and not get Asshole all over everyone you talk to.

What evidence do you have to support this?