Earlier this week, we had a bit of fun with our Tom Brady retirement hoax. It really, really pissed some people off on the ol’ message boards. Here are two fine examples:
This is just another Pats hater wanting to see the end of our success.
How big of a fuckin dweeb is big daddy drew? He writes angry. I bet he got head slapped in high school by guys that actually got real pussy. He's still bitter. Also; I think it's awesome when KSK plays at the Deadspin controls all weekend and links themselves.
Oh yeah. That’s-a good hatin’. But you know, there’s no reason YOU can’t get in on the fun as well. Lots of people like to wait until April 1st to spring a practical joke. Well, that’s just dumb. Everyone KNOWS it’s coming then. No, no. Far better to just do it out of the fucking blue. I’ll give you an example from about five years ago. One day, apropos of nothing, I dialed up my friend Jeremy at work.
Me: Dude, did you know Joe Montana died?
Jeremy: He did? When?
Me: Just saw it on the news now. Dropped dead of a heart attack. So sad.
Jeremy: Jesus, that sucks. I don't see it on cnn.com.
Me: Eh, probably just breaking on TV. I'm sure it'll be online soon. Anyway, gotta go. Just wondering if you had heard.
Jeremy: Okay, bye.
Jeremy then told everyone in his office the news. My phone rang ten minutes later.
Jeremy: Dude, why are you such a fucking asshole?
You see how that works? It helps if your friend is incredibly gullible, as Jeremy is. The secret is to make sure it’s not someone obvious who died. Like Britney Spears. That wouldn’t work. But Dennis Miller? Oh yeah.
So go forth and piss someone off today, you merry pranksters, you.
Your Meast of the Week is
Atari Bigby Ryan Grant of the Packers. Atari hits people really hard, and I like that. Grant ran for 201 yards and scored three touchdowns. Very measty. Did you know he died yesterday? It’s true!