Tuesday, September 5, 2006

1-2-3, It's Kinda Dangerous to Be a QB

Welcome to the latest in our 32 part series, Better Know a Football Team.

Last season further proved how quickly the balance of power can shift on a single play. The poor, illusioned, fans of Cincinnati completely deflated when Carson Palmer was taken down below the knee. While some laughed at the pathetic fate of these Bengals, I was torn up. I've been a fan of Palmer for quite some time. Throw in players like Chad Johnson and Chris Henry and I was hooked. After living in Pittsburgh for a couple of years I was thrilled to watch these cocky motherfuckers strut into the 57 Rivers Stadium and drop 38 on Bettis and his band of bitches.

The offseason didn't bring much respite for their tortured fanbase. Press releases from the hospital happened to include words like "devastating", "career-threatening", and "bubonic plague". Fortunately the outcome was far less dire. Palmer's triumphant return to preseason action brought reassurance to every fan, player, and coach. With a healthy quarterback and a strong core the Bengals will be back to challenge the Steelers.

As all of our regular readers know, we love Chad Johnson (it bears repeating). At KSK we are all about the comedic highlights of a brutal sport. Nobody in the league lifts my spirits quite like Chad; when he dances, we all shine. Of course the League decided to crack down on any enjoyable aspects of the game that are out of their control. There's no doubt in my mind that Chad will keep all of us laughing throughout the season no matter what rules they impose on his craft. The Billy Elliot of the NFL will dance until he can dance no more.

Of course the dominant stories of the summer involved the inability of various players to stay out of the interrogation room. I'd rather not take this opportunity to rehash all the issues I covered earlier this summer, so instead I'm going to leave you with this...



Has the student become the master? Stay tuned to KSK for full analysis of Chad's premiere, and remember, I'll have coverage of all the best endzone edification that's fit to print.

If you're looking for further reasons to be excited for the Bengal/Steeler games you should check out the greatest "fan anthem" in the modest history of youtube. (via Deadspin)

UPDATE: Ask and you shall receive...here's Chad's famous River Dance.

14 comments:

Becky said...

I request - nay, demand! - a link to the Lord of the Dance celebration...

Unsilent Majority said...

done and done

flubby said...

I thought the Riverdance celebration was kinda weak until I found out it was a dig at Brian Urlacher's baby mama drama. Now it's a laff riot.

epsknows said...

Since I did not accept the open invite at Deadspin late last year for comment status that Will put out to everyone at the time; I have to find an outlet to say, "Run you F---ing Dinosaur run” should make it into the DSHOF as well as Portis. I would read the comments and think, why screw with a Picasso; these are masters at their craft.

I have been reading the site daily since November of last year and here since the inception of KSK, so not all of the public are morons. However, I do understand why the Founders of this great country of ours wanted to limit who could vote. A person is smart people are stupid.

Now back to the Bengals’ preview.

chairface chippendale said...

That song just works with...

ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD!

Unsilent Majority said...

chairface, nice work.

epsknows, you are correct sir.

Becky said...

I feel all warm and gushy inside.

Oh, and I am also grateful for the link.

Jamie Mottram said...

Nice Black Star reference in the headline, UM!

paul said...

A person is smart people are stupid.

...and commentors are...

epsknows said...

I do not want to break a commentist that I just read but I feel so special that UM just acknowledged me.

I also find it wierd that this was the day that I decided to post about posting status and then to read about the rules to posting at DS.

Mike said...

Chad Johnson ... the ONLY reason to pay attention to the Bengals.

Unsilent Majority said...

i knew somebody would like that headline, no surprise mr. irrelevant comes through.

Fornelli said...

Ya Flubby, we Bears fans knew that right away when it happened, and even we thought it was funny.

Everybody love Chad Johnson.

Also, I agree, "Run you fucking dinosaur, run!" should be in the HOF.

SlickBomb said...

I watched that celebration last year over and over again to learn how to dance, and now I can! Thank you Cinnmates!