Monday, September 25, 2006

Everyone Please Remain Calm, I'm Not Going to Kill Myself

Say what you will about Shaun Alexander's slow start, you can't really dismiss the fact that he's a somewhat important component of the Seahawks offense. And now he's out indefinitely with a broken foot. The doctors aren't calling it a broken foot; they're calling it a "non-displaced fracture of the foot," which, of course, is a fucking broken foot.

Strangely, as one of the five or so people who represent Seattle Seahawk fandom on the Internet, I'm not actually all that upset. You want to see upset? Unsilent Majority has Alexander on his fantasy team. He barely got to enjoy the Redskins victory before this news broke. Let's just say he isn't handling this well.

Some people are inevitably going to bring up that fat fuck's curse, but I actually blame Mike Holmgren. He has secretly resented having a premier running back for years. You know he's jealous of how many passing plays Andy Reid calls. Well, with four semi-top tier receivers and Maurice Morris as the #1 running option, Bill Walsh's legacy is sure to live on.

Note: By "Bill Walsh's legacy" I mean the West Coast offense, not George Seifert. Just felt I should make that clear.

17 comments:

Unsilent Majority said...

NOOOOOO!

at least i still have hasselbeck and djacks.

jester0165 said...

wow wow

flubby said...

you need to diversify yo' bonds, UM

swing4 said...

Is it wrong that I enjoy knowing UM is suffering, and I've never even met the guy?

Angelos said...

I've got him too.

At least I have Rudi, DeShaun, and Fred Taylor's Groin as backup.

Hey, the Sports Guy warned us...

TheBigO said...

CC, don't trip the Hawks will be fine. This does make me wish that Weaver was active though, would be nice to throw him in there and not miss a beat, but fuck it Mo's a good back and he hits the hole a bit harder. bring on da Bears.

grungedave said...

I think the Sports Guy even called "week 3" as the Madden-curse injury moment!

Thank God I took LT2 over SA and Mr. Larry Johnson in all my drafts!

(sorry, UM!)

Unsilent Majority said...

i've got fast willie and thomas jones with a deep group of wr's. i'll survive for a few weeks.

Suss & The Family Stone said...

Don't blame me. I voted for Steve Foley to be the Madden cover athlete.

jester0165 said...

I vote to put Correll Buckhalter on the cover every year so we can avoid the heartbreak of losing our best

Otto Man said...

How do you people have RB depth like that? Shaun and Rudi on the same team? Do you play in 4-man leagues?

grungedave said...

(secretly praying that Madden puts Hines Ward on the cover next year.........)

SteveJeltzFan said...

Otto Man

I hear you, man. I can't believe some questions that I see in FFL chats..."Uh, yeah, I have LaDanian Tomlinson, Rudi Johnson, Walter Payton, and Blair Thomas, I need to pick two -- I know LT and Rudi are good, but Blair Thomas may have a better match up."

My back ups have a better chance of serving fries than scoring touchdowns.

It really grinds my gears.

MSH said...

Definite props to the Sports Guy - he saved my fantasy football season by steering me away from Alexander, and helped get me into a roto baseball c-ship after recommending Jon Papelbon.

I know a guy who traded Portis AND Steve Smith to a guy for Alexander and some garbage before the week 3 games. I call that guy "A dumb fuck."

BigRicks said...

So much for Holley Mangold's Gash making an appearance in the Deadspin fantasy football premiership Series A next year. Fred Taylor #1 RB, Braylon Edwards #1 WR, Delhomme and Brees fighting mediocrity as the main QB. I never thought the #3 pick could be so disastrous.

I'm going to go cut myself to feel alive.

JoSCh said...

As a Seahawks fan, I also am not worried. I don't agree with bigo, Morris sucks. Strong will outrush and outscore him.

I voted for Bryan Johnson for the cover, didn't make it, but still got hurt... amazing!

TheBigO said...

Josch, c'mon man, the only reason Mack gets off (don't get me wrong, Mack Strong is one of my favorite Seahawks) is because nobody expects it. Strong is not gonna suddenly be our feature back, he's gonna open holes for Mo, but if you think that Strong is gonna have 100yrd 2TD games, that's you. I wanted them to put Big Ben on the cover, we would have had a field day with all the shit that's happened to him. Now that would make me believe in a curse, this shit (broken bone in foot)can happen to anyone. Coincidence.