Thursday, September 21, 2006

"Shhh, it's all right, Taggart. Just a man and a horse being hung out there."

First, we were totally blind-sided by news that Joey Porter owns a pack of pitbulls. He always seemed like more of a bichon frise type of guy. Our shock was only compounded when we subsequently learned that Porter's dogs escaped and killed a horse in suburban Pittsburgh yesterday. The lastest bombshell in this case is the revelation by the police that the killing was a case of mistaken identity. According to insiders familiar with the investigation, Porter trained the dogs for the express purpose of killing Shannon Sharpe.



The resemblance between the victim (above, left) and Sharpe (right) was so uncanny, that even the police arriving on the scene were initially confused. "When we got there the little fella was bellowing and grunting incoherently. It sounded just Shannon Sharpe's analysis of San Diego's pass rush from Sunday morning." Alarmed CBS executives frantically telephoned Sharpe and confirmed he was safe at home, munching on a bag of oats.

14 comments:

Larry Bird Flu said...

And then we bit the horse on his neck...BYAAAHHHH!!!

And then we ripped its hind leg off...BYAAAHHHH!!!

And then we shredded its throat....BYAAAHHHH!!!

Mr Furious said...

Obviously that horse didn't appreciate Porter's player intro antics Monday night, and he had it coming.

Seriously, they killed a horse? A fucking horse? A horse is a pretty big and not entirely defenseless animal...how many dogs does Porter have? And do they shoot frickin' laser beams out of their eyes?

the dude said...

Yeah but isn't dog food primarily 90% horse. They just skipped the Alpo middleman.

Canadian Bobsled Champ said...

Where's the coverage of Jessica Namath ruining a marriage in Florida? Apparently, Archie Manning isn't the only one grooming offspring in his image.

Christmas Ape said...

Want your salt lick?

Num, num, good salt lick.

flubby said...

Why is Barbaro wearing a Shannon Sharpe hat?

doug_plank said...

Who would in a fight -
Porter's dogs vs Spree's dogs


The winner gets Steve McMichaels chihuahua as a snack.

Daniel LaRusso's gonna fight! said...

More important, bobsled, is where are the pictures of the homewrecking Ms. Namath?

Unsilent Majority said...

Ms. Namath with the pops

http://i9.tinypic.com/2is8co3.jpg

TheBigO said...

That dudes lei looks like the Mexican rag weed.

Unsilent Majority said...

yeah...looks like...

Canadian Bobsled Champ said...

Someone needs to put out a call on Deadspin for Facebook photos.....cause that didn't end poorly last time!

Zach Landres-Schnur said...

that horse that was killed was Barbaro! if only...

Canadian Bobsled Champ said...

So, thats what happened to the horse trailer player of the game