Tuesday, September 12, 2006

The Big Five of Week One

We here at KSK are not in the business of re-hashing all the recaps you've already read about the games you've already seen. HOWEVAH! I've decided to post my thoughts on the early games I was fortunate enough to see (my viewing of the late games was sadly cut short). I might be back later in the week with takes from the other epic battles I got to witness...then again maybe I won't. That's just how I roll.

Seattle 9 - Detroit 6
This game was a total piece of shit. Seattle limped back into the venue of their greatest folly, along the way they made Detroit's defense look overpowering. Of course they squeaked by the juggernaut that is Jon Kitna on the foot of Josh Brown. He overcame two blocked attempts (FEAR THE LIONS) in order to knock home the game winner. "I'm ready to pass out. That's fun..." Well he's half right. (ed. note: 6.5 point spreads suck ass).

Cincinnati 23 - Kansas City 10
The Bengals used an efficient passing attack, an imposing running attack, and a sliding quarterback attack to stop the Chiefs. Trent Green was dramatically carted off the field after a nasty hit left him with a big boy concussion. Once again it appears that Green has been out-prayed by Kurt Warner. Carson Palmer is fine and LJ is 66 yards closer to his supposed 2k total.

Baltimore 27 - Tampa Bay 0
This debacle is just further proof that the NFC calls the AFC "Daddy" when the two clash. Both teams are expected to compete for Wildcard berths. The Bucs came out and dropped a deuce in front of their home fans (they have some right?). Expect to spend the next couple of days hearing about how the Bucs season is over. Towards the end of the week the pendulum will swing back and everyone will realize they play 16 games at this level...sometimes I hate post Week 1 backlash.

New Jersey 23 - Tennessee 16
Chad Pennington has announced his presence with authority, and he didn't even tear anything! The Jets tried almost everything to spoil Mangina's glorious coming out party (see Nugent, Mike), but in the end the storybook was completed. Laveranues Coles racked up the yards; while waiting for Chad's floaters to return to the atmosphere he had time to come to terms with his haunted past.

Atlanta 20 - Carolina 6
That Carolina bandwagon sure doesn't have much juice without Steve Smith. Vick and Dunn sliced up the Panther defense while John Fox looked like he could use an enema. John Abraham made the best decision of his career when he left the Jets, now he's the catalyst of an impact defense. Welcome to the NFC, with enough parity to make anybody optimistic (except the Packers).

20 comments:

Rob I said...

We'll take Jersey/A but New York can keep Jersey/B. Preferably Queens.

JoSCh said...

The Bucs came out and dropped a deuce in front of their home fans (they have some right?).

Reading that made me wonder why no mention was made when Pit picked up Najeh Davenport. Is it only me that still thinks that is funny? Davenport deserves his own thread weekly in my world.

flubby said...

I'm with you josch. I refuse to call him anything but Dumpenport. Lock your closets, Pittsburgh.

feep said...

Now that Trent Green has been knocked out, this is surely a sign that KC will win the Super Bowl. That seems to be the script for success of a Trent Green led football team.

Fornelli said...

I'm still recovering from the shock of seeing the Bears score 26 points in the same game.

driggity said...

The one good thing about the Seattle-Detroit game is that now that its over Seattle sports talk radio can talk about something other than "returning to the scene of the crime". I'm surprised that the non-whiney bitch Seahawks fans haven't banded together to silence everyone who won't shut up about the Superbowl officiating.

Unsilent Majority said...

oh najeh

Becky said...

Josch - Round our parts, he's Najeh Crappenport. Every time I see his name, I want to yell out, "It's POOP again!"

doug_plank said...

I 'm waiting for Chris Simms to come up from a sack with a stain between his legs ala Black Eyed Peas Fergie.

That Seattle-Detroit shit fest was so bad I acctually turn on the Cubs-Braves game.

Yuck.

Monday Morning Punter said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Monday Morning Punter said...

She called The Shitter "Poop."

Unsilent Majority said...

can't we have one post that doesn't devolve into scatalogical humor


...OF COURSE NOT!

Unsilent Majority said...

ok, i've been told that greg easterbrook uses Jersey A and Jersey B to designate the two New York teams...eh, fuck it.

i make it a point to not read literature sponsored by mel gibson's production company.

TheBigO said...

Yeah my Seahawks put a stinker out there, but it's cool those are the games that happen during a championship run (i've been telling myself this religiously since the game ended, and I believe it dammit). The Lions are garbage, the Hawks were out there sleep walkin' hopefully this will be the smack in the head that causes them to beast on the rest of the NFL en route to the Superbowl.

KaLiBLeeK said...

ok, i've been told that greg easterbrook uses Jersey A and Jersey B to designate the two New York teams...eh, fuck it.

I hadn't read the TMQ column in quite a while...and reading it today reminded me why. I guess there's a reason ESPN canned him, NFL.com hired him and canned him, and ESPN decided to hire him again.

Rex Mantooth said...

The Seahawks are going to rape the Cardinals so bad this week, Edgerrin James is going to flashback to that horrible moment he walked in on Peyton giving it to Kenny Chesney.

The Dude said...

I'm anticipating the Bears-Lions game to see if in fact Roy Williams is a genious (ha!) or is going to be ripped in two by the Bears defense.

doug_plank said...

My prediction for the Lions on Sunday....


PAIN!!!

Rob I said...

TMQ is my guilty pleasure, even though he only recently acknowledged the existence of global warming.

JoSCh said...

Hampercrapper. The Dook of the RedZone. Anyway, I always thought crapping in her hamper was better than what most atheletes are accused of when dealing with current or ex-girlfriends.

Gregg Easterbrook was good when he was on Slate... since then, not so much.