Friday, September 15, 2006

Come Fly The Horny Skies


Have you ever been fucking in an airplane bathroom and said to yourself, "Geez, there's not a lot of room here. I think my (wife/boyfriend/random stranger sitting next to you) just sat on the soap dispenser."? I have. Plus, there's always the danger of the changing table unlatching and smacking you right in the ass. And that's not fun!

Well, people, one airline out there feels your pain. Introducing Mile High Atlanta, the airline dedicated exclusively to hardcore, mid-air fucking. Rumph! Rumph! Just note their online mission statement:

Make your fantasy a reality with Mile High Atlanta. We are located at West Georgia Regional Airport near Carrollton, GA. just a short drive from the Metro Atlanta area in rural Georgia. We will take you up to over 5,280 feet above the earth's surface so you have the opportunity to join the exclusive "Mile High Club." For only $299.00 you will have an hour flight in a Piper Cherokee Six designed exclusively for this purpose. Also included is a bottle of champagne and you get to keep your sheets as a souvenir of this special event.

If you look at the above picture, you'll notice that a Piper Cherokee Six is roughly the size of a European swallow. Hit an air pocket in this thing and your cock is just as likely to go into the pilot as it is your loved one. But who cares? You'll pop your Mile High cherry and get a free bottle of Andre for your troubles. And the sheets are yours! All yours! I know I tack all my DNA-stained sheets to the walls of my trophy room. I can't wait to hang these 30-thread count, Guatemalan cotton babies. I may even have them bronzed into the shape of my scrotum. Prom night in Atlanta's more urban neighborhoods may never be the same, I tell you.

Anyway, this news really serves as a warning to you Falcon fans. Your team looked good last week. But if you think a certain Chap Stick loving quarterback won't be getting some airpussy here at least four times a day, well then you've never been down Mexico Way.

Some other fun lost news tidbits from today:

-A Michigan state legislator is calling for an end to the ban on Sunday morning alcohol purchases in the state, so that Lions fans will be able to more drunkenly show their appreciation for Lions players, nude coaches, and highly experienced management. Hey, if Mike Martz can call a game while drunk enough to milk a steer, don't fans deserve that same right?

-Police in Montrose, England have decided to hand out lollipops to pub patrons leaving the bar, in hopes of getting them to be more quiet during the late night hours. Why couldn't this go hand in hand with Michigan liquor law repeals? Or Raider games? Here's a fun quote from the article:

The idea is that if they are given a lollipop to suck, they will stay quiet.

So true. I know most people I see at a pub are five years old. A pint of Guinness in a plastic ball pit is heaven on Earth. I also hear gay bars in England will be handing out Sugar Daddies.

Oh, and here's a hot Chiefs cheerleader. Talk about PokeAHotAss! Enjoy the games, everyone!

13 comments:

The Last Unitard said...

For $275 less, you can fuck on my trampoline.

The Dude said...

Isn't that how the dude from La Bamba died?

Unsilent Majority said...

Be sure not to ask for the Roberto Clemene special

Unsilent Majority said...

sadly they charge extra for Rumphing

Otto Man said...

Normally, if you want to get screwed in the air, you have to fly United.

JoSCh said...

Dirty South indeed!

A radio station here in beautiful downtown South Carolina does a similar thing, it's called "Screw over your ex".

doug_plank said...

Okay my turn -

I'm guessing Lynard Skynard was on the charter flight.

Monday Morning Punter said...

Too bad they couldn't put a stairwell in the plane--because that would be smokin' hot.

Jawbreaker said...

Do you get a free coat hanger each ticket purchase?

The Last Unitard said...

I'll just do the autopilot instead. It can also be used as a flotation device.

Unsilent Majority said...

god is my co-pilot...and he's got a camcorder

The Dude said...

Hot Chiefs cheerleader, mile high boning...I see where you are going with this.

Becky said...

Don't forget getting Lions fans drunk enough to Rumph in the parking lots... We may as well get SOME enjoyment out of our Sundays.