Monday, September 18, 2006

OVER-RA-TED!

LaVar Arrington is no longer the most overrated defensive player in the NFL. Congratulations LaVar, you've graduated. Instead LaVar has now assumed his roll as the worst starting linebacker in all of football.

(Just so you know I'm not saying all of this out of homerism I will freely admit that Andre Carter is the worst defensive end in the history of football)

The Giants' Intimidator

In his first two games with the Giants LaVar has collected five solo tackles...total. He wasn't run out of DC because of issues with the system or because his fucktard agent botched his contract. He's no longer in Washington because he is no longer an above average football player (just like Mark Brunell!). Thanks to the drawing power of all that is Manning I've had the opportunity to watch both of the Giants games this season. Nobody on the field has been quieter than LaVar, for a guy who's supposed to be an impact player that is a bad sign. The most noise he made last week was in the player introductions when he claimed to be a product of the “School of Hard Knocks”. Cry me a river you middle class ’roid raging bitch!

Of course LaVar is doing everything he can to make you think he doesn't suck balls. Every time I look up Carlos Emmons and/or Antonio Pierce is making a nice tackle. 1.5 seconds later LaVar will jump on top of the already vanquished foe and followed by a good deal of taunting and dry-humping. The former All Pro Meast has been reduced to a complete bitch. Next thing you know he'll have Chris Simms's face tattooed on his chest.

It’s only a matter of time before “double nickels” is outed as the complete fraud he’s become. And yes, I’m feeling a bit bitter this morning…wanna fight about it?

14 comments:

the dude said...

Eh his suckage as a linebacker is nothing, try watching the Chiefs linebackers the last five years. Also Willie McGinest is pissed...nobody takes the double nickels.

flubby said...

Lavar doesn't care as long as long as those lucrative Eastern Motors endorsement dollars keep rolling in.

Monday Morning Punter said...

UM, wouldn't it be "O-VER-RA-TED?"

Are you that mesmerized by the downfield passing ability of Mark Brunell?

A.R.P. said...

The giants are a fake football team, they aren't really real.

BTW: Mark Brunell's Jesus must have died last night or the Cowboys are using a stronger brand of Jesus.
Why Redskins, why? It hurts so bad.

BigTDog said...

So if his job is his credit and he's no good at his job, does that affect his credit rating?

Unsilent Majority said...

ray lewis took his place with eastern's...you guys are sooo last year

Larry Bird Flu said...

I agree with everything you wrote, and have been taunting Giants fans with LaVar since the day they signed him. The real problem was the Redskins letting Antonio Pierce go.

That said, I'd gladly line Brunell up against a wall and have LaVar take a shot at him. Just to get the Jason Campbell Era off the ground once and for all.

A.R.P. said...

It is prophecy: LaVar will sack Brun-Brun on Thanksgiving and all of their knees will simultaneously explode. That's how it will go down and the game will end in a 5-5 tie.

feep said...

LaVar would have totally been there to make those tackles, but when you're 20 yards out of position, it takes that extra second or 2 to get to the play.

BigRicks said...

Willie McGinnest demands retribution for utilizing the 5-5, 55, double-nickel, any and all types of 55's require reperation from the guilty party.

If Brunell and Andre Carter suck so much balls, why don't you write an article about them? I was waiting for a ranting raving cursing article about the sucktitude of the Redskins and instead I get a potshot at a player who plays on a team with a better record than said 'Skins. C'mon now, When the Redskins lose we demand an angry UM. Because an angry UM is a funny UM. Plus, we need something to get us over the eventual teabagging BDD will give B. Childress and the boys.

Unsilent Majority said...

bigricks, i will be writing a state of the skins at some point and it won't be pretty. i'm at work and the lavar piece took far less time, he's a total bum who brings nothing to the giants d.

BigRicks said...

UM, looking forward to the 'skins piece, the above comment was a thinly veiled attempt to defend my Giants. The truth of the matter is, the Giants let up over 300 yards in the first half to a team with an average WR and a glorified 3rd down Running back. Without Pierce (thanks), Osi and Strahan, our D is a mess.

Unsilent Majority said...

osi and strahan probably won't be able to replicate last season very often, that was special. i'd have more confidence in them if their tackles were a bit better (thanks for cornelius griffin)

apostles03 said...

I have watched Arrington play football since he was a high school freshman, and I have a theory on why he sucks now: he is old.

I realize he is 28, but hear me out. When he was 13, he looked and played like an 18 year old. My theory is that LaVar matured 1.38 years for every year the rest of us matured. So now that he's 28, he plays like a 38.64 year old LaVar Arrington.

That might not sound so bad now... but when he turns 59, he be an 81 year old LaVar. Yuck.