A True Barometer of Sweetness
You've probably seen those other guys' bullshit power rankings, but that's just what they are. Bull. Shit. So, Seattle's better than Tampa? Way to go out on a limb there, asshole. So I set out on a quest to find a true barometer of sweetness, uninhibited by speculation or personal bias and came up with my own motherfucking Power Rankings. BY-AHHHH!!
- Beef
- Chicken
- The Chad Johnson Hit
- Any album where the name of the band/artist is composed entirely of letters
- Big Daddy Drew
- Scarlett Johannsen's upper lip
- Getting in the shower and the water's all cold and shit
- Jeff Fisher acting like he just broke up with Elton John
- The word "camel," when not used as a prefix
- Curdled Milk
20 comments:
Lenny: If you ask me, Muhammad Ali in his prime was much better than anti-lock brakes.
Carl: Yeah, but what about Johnny Mathis versus Diet Pepsi?
flubby...fantastic
i'm not sure scarlett's upper lip would have been my first choice amongst her anatomy.
Any album where the name of the band/artist is composed entirely of letters
Besides MC5, L7, 2 Live Crew, the Jackson 5, Size 14 (can't get more obscure than that) and the period when Prince went by that stupid symbol, what bands/artists are you excluding here? Aren't most band names (e.g., Rolling Stones, Replacements, Black Crowes, Marah) composed entirely of letters?
why ya gotta bust balls?
U-2?
Nice call on Scarlett.
RUMPH!
Sorry, guess I misunderstood what this site was about.
Can I at least bitch about the fact that I had to type in "oxgdjjij" to post this comment?
absolutely
Mr. Balls, you are indeed a worthy opponent. That's the best short way I could have stated that.
Those bands would include AC/DC (punctuation can slide, I suppose), DMX, N.W.A. (punct. again), RZA, and ODB.
U2 is a letter and a number, so fuck them.
While not to me, I think some people might want to add the new-and-improved AC Slater to the list.
Abba? Fucking sick-o!
So your saying that Tampa is going to be Seattle this weekend?
You might reconsider because Joe Buck isn't going to agree with you when he talks about it for 1/2 hour.
U2 is a letter and a number, so fuck them.
I must agree with you there. Fuck U2, pretentious preening pricks that they are.
The squeaky wheel indeed gets the grease. This time, I only had to type in "xulxo" to post my comment.
i'll third the fuck u2 sentiment
Claude,
"I'm gonna pick up some beer. Stay at home. And stare at my Claire Danes poster."
And U2 sucks. Defend New Orleans!
scarlett can do wonders with that lower lip too.
I thought of this guy when Chad Johnson got hit.
BOOOOOOOM HEADSHOT!!!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=u7VBaCEHJrU&mode=related&search=FPS%20Doug
Motherfucking U2 ruins everything. End.
But U2 cares about taking care of that thing over there.
The Edge (just what the fuck kind of a name is that anyway?) got his start as the Policeman in a Village People tribute band.
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