Friday, September 29, 2006

Cheerleaders of the Week: Bob Whitfield Edition

You'll have to excuse me; I'm a little introspective today. It's nice; taking stock of my thoughts helps rid me of the little demons in my conscience. Unfortunately, it totally fucks up my joke-making mechanism.

So let me walk you through my dilemma. I've got two cheerleaders I want to feature today, both attractive, both bringing up certain discussion points relative to the greater narrative in NFL fandom. But can I post two? Am I allowed to do that? Are there going to be enough cheerleaders to cover the entire year if I post two today? Well, friends, it's a risk I'm willing to take.


I took this photo from Foxsports.com, which labeled this lovely woman as "a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader." Really? No shit. What tipped you off, Sherlock?

Well, the wire services may not care about cheerleaders, but WE do. This is Becca Gambel. She's 21, owns a chocolate lab named Milton, and claims that her best trait is her "easy-going personality." Feel free to disagree.

Becca most definitely did NOT try to kill herself with a prescription overdose this week, not with that dark wavy sex hair and those blue eyes. Rawr! But the real reason she's getting our attention today is that -- for the distorted physical expectations of an NFL cheerleader -- she appears to be a little thick in the britches. And delightfully so, if you ask me. Even a white boy's got to shout: She's got a great saddle.


This lass is our runner-up. Another anonymous hottie, and I'm having trouble verifying this one: I think she's Amanda, but deep down I'd rather she be Crystal. Whatever, all blondes with big racks look the same to me: fucking sexy.

I singled out Crys-anda because this is what I imagine all Redskins cheerleaders should look like: a beautiful straight-toothed smile in keeping with her profession, but a vacant, faraway look that says Weren't the Redskins supposed to be good this year?

22 comments:

epsknows said...

I'd put my money among other things that the picture is Amanda.

Unsilent Majority said...

bastard

Rob I said...

Crys-anda looks like Amy Poehler except, you know, hot.

Unsilent Majority said...

those things are spectacular btw. i'll have the binoculars on sunday.

Monday Morning Punter said...

Amanda got jobbed.

And she also was slighted in this post.

Big Jim Slade said...

Thanks for the pics! I now have four reasons to live...

The Angry Rant said...

You are referring to the pom-poms, right?

Zach Landres-Schnur said...

the dallas girl looks like one of those women in that line of "real women" Dove commercials: she's not perfect, but you'd still run through her like a fucking turnstile.

doug_plank said...

The Cowgirl has bit of a Bengal helmet, but that lazy eye always slays me.

chornbe said...

Dude, ass is good. I'll take that dark-haired beauty ALL day long. I mean, WOW!

doug_plank said...

Don't get me wrong, she's definite blumpkin material.

CJ said...

Crys-anda obviously is tied up with other things as her favorite player is LaVar. Who as we all know is now dead.

jedland said...

my drinking brain tells me that for a relatively affordable price, I can touch her where she pees

Unsilent Majority said...

YOU'RE ALL SICK! SHOW SOME RESPECT TO THE FUCKING ATHLETES!

the dude said...

her best trait is her "easy-going personality"

Since when do cheerleaders have those???

Otto Man said...

Eh. Becca has that eyes-too-close-together look reminiscent of Blaster from "Beyond Thunderdome." I think putting the moves on her would feel like hitting on a special needs student.

Whereas the Skins cheerleader clearly has Mensa written all over her. I'd be willing to take a look for it, anyway.

Angelos said...

I'd toss a load Becca's way now, but those measty thighs will be thunderthighs in five years.

twoeightnine said...

I like easy girls.

doug_plank said...

Who run bardertown?

Mr Furious said...

Becca looks a bit too much like what Jerry and Elaine's offspring would turn out like.

While Amanda is successfully targetting my Beverly D'Angelo fantasies from 15-20 years ago. Yes, please.

tim said...

becca gamble would get fucked rawly

warren said...

id stik my cock in between her soapy tits nd shoot my load all over her face. LOL
fucking slut, hoare.
fuck me becca
spurt, spurt!
AHHHHHHHHHHHH!
cum on her face