Monday, September 25, 2006

Mission Accomplished!


Well, we did it! We fixed the stadium! Whew! Thank God we got that done! Looks great, everybody! Only took $160 million to spruce it up! I think it's safe to say that our work rebuilding this city is finally done. We even got that preening asswipe Bono to play a few songs to make it official. Sure, his band hasn't tried to do anything remotely adventurous since Pop, but that's all right. Peter King will eat that shit up!

What's that? Portions of the city still lay in ruins? Pfft. I don't wanna hear about that. This city is completely rebuilt, you hear me?! I already got a guarantee from Theismann that he'll say, "The Saints mean so much to this city..." at least 376 times tonight, and Kornheiser's too much of a pussy to stop him!

So don't talk to me about homeless black people. It could be worse for them, you know. They could have moved to Houston and then been stuck with the Texans! So many of the people in this town were underprivileged anyway. So this is working very well for them.

See you at the game! I reserved one of the rape-history-free luxury boxes!

NOTE: You can still donate to the Salvation Army's Katrina Fund by calling 1-800-SAL-ARMY. Oh, and read this.

34 comments:

JT said...

To celebrate the return of Pro football to the Creole capital of the US, how about a band from Ireland, a band from California, and a band from Buffalo?

It just seems so.... appropriate!

Unsilent Majority said...

it's not as if louisiana has any native form of music.

feep said...

Just as a fun gimmic to celebrate, perhaps they'll just let some gators roam the crowds.

Larry Bird Flu said...

I swear I heard someone on TV this morning say to "expect a tidal wave of emotion tonight." I was away from my DVR, so couldn't check to see if I'd heard it right.

Gland Jupiter said...

Were native Aaron Neville and his oddly high-pitched voice too busy?

Angelos said...

Pardon the serious comment, but the NFL is a business, and it did its job. No, football doesn't fix any of the effing mess. But the NFL fixed that for which it is responsible. The government, not so much.

Two separate issues.

Monday Morning Punter said...

Fuck Katrina. How long must I wait for my Los Angeles Saints season ticket application?

Christmas Ape said...

No one is suggesting that, angelos. BDD is taking issue with the cloying, cheerleading tone of the sports media pretending this is the last step to NOLA being "back."

Rob I said...

Exploitation and capitalism go hand in hand but that doesn't make it right.

Stupid Angelos. (sorry but you were setting yourself up for that one)

Big Daddy Drew said...

But the NFL fixed that for which it is responsible.

Actually, the NFL only contributed $15 million of the final $184 million tab.

$115 million was paid by FEMA.

Monday Morning Punter said...

Angelos is right on.

Engineer Sighted said...

This isn't exactly on topic, but I haven't seen a comment about it yet so I felt like somebody should say so: even though it's not NFL, there is another Rumph out there - NC State outside linebacker LeRue Rumph is a converted safety.

Satchmo said...

I'll reserve judgement for after the game. I'm hoping that part of the message for the night will be "The Superdome is up and people are buying tickets, but there's still a lot of work to be done" *handing hammer to Bono*

Because in that case, the NFL will in fact be doing what it's supposed to do. Football may not fix anything, but as a marketing giant, they can get a lot of people's attention (and did, after the Hurricane).

I sincerely hope they don't just play up the damage and the loss and pretend that it's all behind the city now with the reopening of the Superdome as a sign that people are going back about their daily lives as they were before Katrina.

Unsilent Majority said...

angelos is just upset that they didn't find any asbestos in the dome.

seriously though, i can already feel myself cringing hours before pregame. they are going to ride this happy occasion into the ground. yeah it's great but it's nowhere near where it should be.

Unsilent Majority said...

and it's not the nfl i'm worried about, they've done their job in terms of bringing awareness and financial support to the superdome (not sure about the lower 9th ward though)
i'm just worried about espn...

Unsilent Majority said...

engineer, he's actually mike rumph's cousin...which makes him okay in my book (until rumph's next pass interference).

Angelos said...

christmas ape, I agree, and I wasn't really criticizing BDD. Maybe it came across that way.

I'm sick of both sides, actually. No, NOLA isn't "back" and no, sports aren't the salvation of people who remain homeless. A nice 3-hour diversion, yes, but still.

But then there are the anti-sports people, who are criticizing the NFL for getting the dome ready while the rest of the city is still in ruins. And that's football's problem how? Anyone who reopens his business, from corner store to NFL franchise, is doing his part in the long road to recovery.

BBD, point taken. That's a strange use of gubmint money. Still, the NFL's job is to fix the dome. Not the levees.

OK, enough, I come here for the funny, I have enough political blogs bookmarked.

Time time start drinking and thinking about enjoying some bush. Er, Bush. Reggie. Um, never mind...

Monday Morning Punter said...

Chalk it up as a loss for the "mixed drinks and bare tits" lobby.

rsr26 (aka Johnny Utah) said...

New Orleans was offically "back" when I was there a few months ago and was able to get a lap dance then later play blackjack at Harrah's.

hbbjcr said...

While I too approach this game with much trepidation, one good thing may come out of it. Joe T may try to address the still lingering race/class issues and say something so monumentally stupid that the WWL will have to can his ass due to the controversy al la Limbaugh.

BoSox Siobhan said...

HBBJCR:
I'm lighting a candle in hopes that Joey Theeesman fucks up so royally tonight that he MUST get canned.
And because it can't be said enough: Fuck Bono. Ruiner.

TheBigO said...

This doesn't concern New Orleans, sorry. I was thinking, can somebody please put a bug in Roger Goodell's ear that the winner of the superbowl should get the Lombardi trophy of course, but should also recieve either the Bucs or Texans cheerleader squad, that would be awesome.

Fuckin had to type 'pgqzxanw' just to suggest this, wow.

Johnny LaRue said...

Engineer Sighted said...
even though it's not NFL, there is another Rumph out there - NC State outside linebacker LeRue Rumph is a converted safety.
*****
damn, I was wondering when some of my bastard spawn from the 80s would start popping up. And I shoulda known that Rumph chick couldn't spell, neither.

Unsilent Majority said...

great, now house of the rising sun is forever ruined. thanks a lot green day, you were great when I was in middle school.
bastards

Unsilent Majority said...

tony's opening take was surprisingly amazing. i've been a bit concerned about my boy on mnf but that was absolutely perfect.

Christmas Ape said...

Oh, how I want to be in that rumba, oh, when the Saints go over there.

OH, OVER THERE!

GentleWhoadie9000 said...

Dude, Bono invented jazz. Haven't you listened to "War?"

8hrdrive said...

I'm watching the crowd at the superdome. If New Orleans is 75% black, why is the crowd 90% white? Not exactly a representative sample of the people who really suffered from katrina.

Johnny Cakes but not gay said...

kornheiser was very good. agreed.

Damn, if the terrorists hit the superdome tonight that would be so gully.

I'm happy for thr citizens of New Orleans though. You've got a nice building reopened for your shitty team that's won one playoff game ever.

Johnny Cakes but not gay said...

p.s. the Saints broke through the falcons punt block like they were water through a levee.

feep said...

i have a theory that atl let the saints block the punt since they didn't recover the intentional fumble... just saying

Unsilent Majority said...

don't these fuckers know i have money on atlanta?


AHHHHHHHH! Archie Manning!!!


KILL IT!

Claude Balls said...

Does this mean no real camera for you? Because the photo from your phone was kind of crappy.

TheBigO said...

If New Orleans is 75% black why the fuck are U2 and Green Day performing. No self respecting black man/woman like either Green Day or U2. The Dirty Dozen Big Brass Band is the fuckin shit, they're from NO and can actually play their instruments. Fuckin U2 and Green Day that shit is dispicable. I wouldn't piss on Bono if he was on fire.