Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Life It Seems To Fade Away...


In case you weren't already aware, Cowboys wideout Terrell Owens has apparently tried to kill himself. Is it fair to make fun of a man who may be in his darkest hour and in need of serious mental counseling?

I say yup.

TO has long been someone who desperately desires attention, negative or otherwise. So I think TO (who is not dead) would have wanted it this way, with people brutally flaying him with rapturous glee. That way, other people can step in and say, "Hey, he's a person too, assbag!", thus causing TO be viewed in a highly sympathetic light, leading up to Pontius Pilate's swift execution order.

In other words, we at KSK plan on giving TO exactly what he wants. Stay tuned today for our numerous theories on why TO decided to try and half-assedly knock himself off. Seriously, has anyone died from attempting suicide by ingesting pills (cue random commenter who has a loved one that actually did)? TO didn't want to die. He just wanted a $5 million advance for his memoirs. What a tactician.

11 comments:

Johnny Cakes but not gay said...

Well, he upstaged the Katrina victims.

flubby said...

"Getcha popcorn ready."

Canadian Bobsled Champ said...

Guess his request to be on next season's dancing with the stars got rejected......Cue Terry Bradshaw staging an intervention with Michael Irving.

Big Jim Slade said...

What T.O. calls a suicide attempt, Brett Farve calls 'breakfast'.


Too soon? Sorry, Brett.

Big Daddy Drew said...

We need to get Big Jim a DS comment invite.

Canadian Bobsled Champ said...

This was a better attempt than last time when he tried to drown himself in flaxseed oil

the dude said...

My theory is he finally went off the deep end when he saw yesterday on Cold Pizza how much Skip Bayless hated him when argued with the big guy from Green Mile. I would never disagree with anything against that guy.

chiswede said...

"I say yup"

Nearly needed to clean coffee off my keyboard after that one.

The Angry Rant said...

So how long until the Lifetime Channel airs The Terrell Owens Story?

Kels said...

"Cannonball, cannonball coming."

NFL Adam said...

T.O. tried to committ suicide? I had no idea he was Tony Dungy's son.