Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Overheard at the Combine


We're way too cool to attend the NFL Combine/Sausage Festival, but our spies are lurking behind ever corner...and safety. The following are snippets of conversations overheard by said spies.

Peter King to Joe Flacco...
"If you want to get anywhere in this league you'll start answering my text messages, young man."

Roger Goodell to Zygi Wilf...
"I'd be scouting a new left tackle if I were you."

Unknown media member...

"Sure, I appreciate Mayock's attention to detail, but he should leave the rectal exams to the doctors."

Michael David Smith...
"If you talk to Rob King tell him I said hi, and ask if him he got the fruit basket."

Bob Kraft into cellphone...
"Mike Haht? Fahk that daaahkie, I just watched that Jacob Hestah smoke his ass. We don't even need Mahs, we'll just play the Hestah kid at wideout. He looks like he's wicked smaht and hahd werkin. I'm tellin' ya, if we line Welkah up opposite Hestah we can't fackin' lose!"

Mike Florio to a janitor...
"Can I cite you as an unnamed source?"

Unknown player...
"This is whole thing is a bit Kevin Spacey, if you know what I'm sayin'."

We know what you're saying, unknown player, we know.

SUPER SEXY UPDATE:

Darren McFadden into cellphone...
"Nah baby, you can't get pregnant if you do it in the butt."

20 comments:

Big Daddy Drew said...

"Mr. McFadden's Wonderlic score says .03. Doesn't that seem a bit high for him?"

Wormfather said...

We need a fantasy combine. Perhaps then I would have found out Cutler was a shit QB in time enought to save my FF season.

Chris(BessMervinGirlDetective) said...

That picture could use a "NOM NOM NOM" caption.

Citizen 10Cane said...

Peter King to a national audience:
So let me tell you about the elderly farter I sat next to on the airplane on the way out here.

I had to re-read that sentence about six times to make sure he didn't say "elderly father."

I mean I'd expect this language in a Jambaroo, but there were children reading!!

Tom Brady's Man Chowder said...

Jake Long...
"HGH? What's that?"
/blinks twice

JAMMQ said...

"Mr. McFadden's Wonderlic score says .03. Doesn't that seem a bit high for him?"

Yeah, but his sperm count is off the charts. Can you imagine how impressed the Sex Cannon must be? It's like when Obi-won first saw Annakin.

Holy shit, I just used a Star Wars reference . . . excuse me while I go figure out when I turned into comic book guy.

Tech N9ne's Tribute to Falco said...

I'm pretty sure PK's too busy strategically placing himself in front of a bowflex in a barn down in Mississippi.

"I don't care if he's got talent, I know he's got talent! I wanna know if he gets flustrated."
-Herm 'Bizzaro-Dungy' Edwards

futuremrsrickankiel said...

This picture is simply phenomenal. That guy should audition to be one of the Marlin Manatees dancers.

Sorry, I just can't help the baseball references this time of year...

And I'd LOVE to see Jacob Hester catching Brady's passes next year, even if he's pretty much as white as you can possibly get (an Elvis fan from the South... yikes). Does that make me a racist Masshole? Yes, yes it does.

quiet strength said...

...Matt Ryan digging through his gym bag mumbling "I swear to God, whoever took my fucking lip balm...oh, here it is..."

SlideShow Bob said...

Rest in peace Footsteps Flacco.

westbrook is my anti-drug said...

Danny Snyder to himself:

"Why the fuck am I here?"

The Assman said...

Al Davis to a pylon in the endzone:

"If we draft that Marcus Allen kid we should contend well into the '90s."

ciarannh said...

now thats a man i want to see do the truffle shuffle

Comicbook Guy said...

@ JAMMQ
"Holy shit, I just used a Star Wars reference . . . excuse me while I go figure out when I turned into comic book guy."

fyi
Holy Shit is a Batman reference

/ no Darren McFadden

futuremrsrickankiel said...

OK, I actually keep returning to this post for the sole purpose of staring more at this photo. I'm obsessed. Can't... look... away...

shouldBworkin said...

Wade Wilson huddled in his office: 'Please God, don't let that crazy Jerry Jones trade my Barbarian and both first round picks just to move up for McFadden.'

Faintly...in the distance...yeeeehawwwww!....iamfuckin'crazy!

/nibbles barrel

BEHM777 said...

You know, seeing that guy just made me feel svelte again.

Dueling Couches said...

have you guys ever seen this site http://duelingcouches.blogspot.com/

i have to tell ya it is awesome

John John The Bastard said...

Who the fuck is Wade Wilson and why is he afraid of Wade Phillips' boss?

I promise one day soon I will make a timely comment.

Rally Monkey Spanker said...

Hey, what's with the picture of Bartolo Colon? I thought this was a football post?