Friday, February 15, 2008

KSK Mock Drafts: Who Would You Do

Today we're proud to re-introduce you to our own special version of the much ballyhooed mock-draft season. In the weeks leading up to the NFL draft you will be besieged by meaningless predictions as to how things will play out in April. Some will come from reputable experts who might actually provide a hint of useful information while most will come from biased pricks with bad haircuts. We here at KSK would never imagine forcing such needless analysis on our beloved readers, so instead we offer our own variety of the mock draft every Friday leading up to the big day.

The topic of this off-season's first mock draft is as deep as it is star-laden. The key terms here aren't Upside Potential or Length, instead we focus on attributes like Fuckability and...uh, Fuckability. So now without further ado, we present the KSK Mock Draft: Who Would You Do, the movie character edition!

The rules are simple, draft a character from a movie, once the movie has been picked it is off limits and once an actress has been picked all of her other roles are off limits. Additionally, the character or actress must have been over the age of 18 at the time the movie was released :(

No porn allowed, and remember, you're sleeping with the character (think one night only) and not the actress.

We drafted in the traditional serpentine fashion with the draft order as follows... Maj, Ufford, Flubby, Punter, Drew, and Ape (Drew would have gone last but he cried like a little girl separated from her mommy.

1. (UM) Nancy Callahan - Sin City

I'll get things started with a character played by the most beautiful woman alive. She's an innocent dancer with a heart of gold in a cruel and unforgiving world, and I'd like nothing more than to bang the shit out of her.


2.
(Flub) Lacey Underall - Caddyshack

That's a quality pick right there, I was foolish to hope she'd last longer.



3. (Uff) Rollergirl - Boogie Nights

Ufford: Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck it kills me not to take Scarlett.

The draft's first shocker!


4. (MMP) Linda Barrett - Fast Times at Ridgemont High

Ufford calls the pick "savvy" and I all it "classic." Then I start to think of Jimmy Kimmel and I get a little sick. Regardless, Judge Reinhold had the right idea and I like to think that he got a little piece of Phoebe Cates in between scenes.


5. (BDD) Nola Rice - Match Point

Drew: Easy pickins.

My draft board is in shambles and my pants are tightening by the minute.


We take a break here while waiting for Ape to show up. Apparently somebody forgot to tell Mr. Commuter that Adrian Fenty never promised to make the trains run on time.

Ufford: I have a Word Document and IMDb open. I forgot how consuming these drafts are.

Drew: It's hard to ignore Jesssica alba, but Carla gugino is Sin City is just about the hottest thing I've ever seen.

Me: If i wanted an old chick i'd pick Mrs. Robinson

Drew: We need about thirty rounds for this draft. I am trying to take a mental inventory of just how many times I masturbated to each of these characters.


6. (Ape) Catwoman - Catwoman

Ape: Okay, I'll take the Halle Catwoman, then, y'know, for the jokes.

Insert cat joke here ________.

Insert Ufford's righteous indignation at this lack of a joke here _______.


7. (Ape) Mikaela Banes - Transformers

Yep, that's one sexy bitch.





8. (Drew) 8. The Girl In The Ferrari - Vacation

Drew: "Are you gonna go for it?" Why, yes. I believe I will.

Christie Brinkley really got jobbed out of the Oscar on this one.


9. (MMP) Mary Ann Lomax - The Devils' Advocate

I like it when she starts turning into that other chick. It's like fucking two at once! I also like the idea of fucking an MRF.


10. (Flub) Girl Washing Car - Cool Hand Luke.

Flubby: "That's a Lucille, you mullet head! Any girl so innocent and built like that gotta be named Lucille." - Dragline

Everyone: Awesome pick.

And now for your viewing enjoyment, the video goodness!

11. (Uff) Selene - Underworld

Ufford: BAM!

Bam Bam: BAM BAM! BAM!

Emeril: BAM!


12. (Me) Charlie Nicholson - High Fidelity

Ufford: Charlie was a snooty bitch.

Me: Charlie was a snooty bitch who was HOT AS SHIT!



13. (Me) Hannah Green - Wonder Boys

Before Scientology got their alien tentacles all over her Katie Holmes was right up there on my overall list with Alba, Berry, and Kournikova (hallowed territory to be sure). She showed the tits in The Gift but I'm a huge fan of Wonder Boys and something about that red-boot wearing literati really gets to me.

14. (Uff) Kelly Lanier Van Ryan - Wild Things

Ufford: Dump champagne on her huge tits and have a threesome? Don't mind if I do.

Sure, if you're in to that sort of thing.

15. (MMP) Nadia - American Pie

You want me jerk you off?

And all this time I thought Punter didn't care for the foreigners.



16. (Flub) Cherry Darling - Planet Terror

Flubby: Because who hasn't always wanted to do a chick with a machine gun/rocket launcher leg?



17. (Drew) Tracey - Bachelor Party

Drew: I had this movie on my VCR and wore out hte tape rewinding and jerking to this scene. sometimes I couldn't finish in time, so I had to rewind with my dick in my hand. NSFW picture can be found here.


18. (Ape) Bai Ling - 2046

Saucy. Exotic. Scary?




AND THERE YOU HAVE IT!

There are way too many honorable mentions to list them all here and frankly, we could have gone all night long. So feel free to add in your own picks in the comments.

Oh fuck it, here's one (NSFW!) honorable mention...


266 comments:

NeverNude said...

Jessica Alba in Idle Hands

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/176639/idle_hands/

NeverNude said...

first post and I already broke the rules.

Fuck I suck. I still say this trumps Sin City

Sh!tShow said...

Kathryn Merteuil - Cruel Intentions. She'd let me put it anywhere.

Unsilent Majority said...

Honorable Mention: Lisa from Weird Science, Salma Hayek's character in Desperado, Christina Milian in Be Cool, Lana from Risky Business.

Big Daddy Drew said...

Very honorable mention:

Catherine Trammel in Basic Instinct
Brenda Bakke in Hot Shots Part Deux
Rebecca DeMornay in Risky Business
Christina Ricci in Black Snake Moan
Lindsay Lohan in Mean Girls
Karen Sisco in Out of Sight
Daisy Duke in Dukes of Hazzard
Kate Bosworth in Blue Crush
Eliza Dushku in Bring it on
Sloan Peterson in Ferris Bueller
Nicollete Sheridan in Spy Hard
Jamie Lee Curtis in Trading Places/True Lies

NeverNude said...

Vanessa Angel in Kingpin anyone?

TurleyGirlie said...

Matthew McConnaughey in A Time to Kill.

Hot, smart and before he got weird and gay with Jake Gyllenhal.

Richard said...

Cherry Darling would have been my number one pic, Flub. You got a steal getting her that late.

Wormfather said...

WTF, where is Christina Ricci in Black Snake Moan...I would have fucked her face to face in that movie. Had I directed that bitch would have been NC-17 like god intended.

Hell, even my prude of a lady would have banged her.

Otto Man said...

Betty Childs from "Revenge of the Nerds."

Upstate Underdog said...

Marissa Tomei in My Cousin Vinny. I can't explain it, so don't ask.

Eddie Griffin's "Privates" said...

Cameron Diaz in the Mask. When she walks into the bank when it's raining outside and she's in that red dress. Damn, I gotta go change my pants.

Grimey said...

Tenley Parrish (Jessica Biel) in Summer Catch

Eddie Griffin's "Privates" said...

Sloan Peterson is an amazing pick Drew

Wormfather said...

My bad drew, just saw your comments. No fair, how you gonna take 12 of the best and then suck up the rest in the honorable mention section.

In other news, I saw Gone, Baby Gone last night...hehehehehehehe. That thing read like a documentary of the Boston Public.

Eddie Griffin's "Privates" said...

Penny Lane (Kate Hudson) in Almost Famous

Big Daddy Drew said...

I knew my peepee was forgetting someone, grimey.

Eddie Griffin's "Privates" said...

Sienna Miller in Layer Cake. Done and done.

Otto Man said...

Jane Smith (Angelina Jolie) in Mr. and Mrs. Smith

Jordan Ginsberg said...

Jamie Lee Curtis in Trading Places/True Lies

Daring!

I'm a Bridget Fonda in Jackie Brown fan, myself.

Otto Man said...

No fair, how you gonna take 12 of the best and then suck up the rest in the honorable mention section.

Seriously. Nice cockblocking, Bambi Daddy Drew.

John S. said...

Monica Belucci - Irréversible

(0ver the line?)

Barack Obama Has A Posse! said...

Betty or Rita from Mulholland Drive. If you haven't seen it, rent it tonight. Scratch that - hit the youtube right fucking now. Then rent it tonight.

Romance Explosions said...

Alice (Natalie Portman) Closer. Stripper outfit mandatory

Big Daddy Drew said...

No fair, how you gonna take 12 of the best and then suck up the rest in the honorable mention section.

You're right. Shouldn't have done that.

Grimey said...

By the way, I find it humorous that two of the characters who got drafted ended up getting shot, and I didn't mind so much in either case

Otto Man said...

Harmony Faith Lane (Michelle Monaghan) in "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang"

John S. said...

Does the ten pipck rule still stand?

Not sure...

Well, Ms.Honeywell (Kim Catrall) from Porky's.

oooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

Grimey said...

Beatrice (Asia Argento) in B. Monkey (I'll watch pretty much anything on IFC with hot chicks)

Captain Caveman said...

DAMMIT, Grimey! Here was the comment I was about to write:

Michelle Monaghan as Harmony in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. She shows her breasts AND corrects people's grammar!

/swoons

Vanilla said...

Elisabeth Shue, Leaving Las Vegas

Captain Caveman said...

Er, Otto Man, rather. You all look alike.

Les Savy Ferd said...

grace kelly- Rear Window.

y'all are thinking WAY too contemporary.

Francois Leroux Speedskater said...

Ursula Andress (Honey Ryder) in Dr. No

Vanilla said...

Kelly Preston from Jerry Maguire - liked her better in that movie than in Mischief.

Hercules Rockefeller said...

Danielle from The Girl Next Door (Elisha Cuthbert)

Yes, indeed.

Otto Man said...

Sorry, CC. If it makes you feel better, LSF just beat me to Grace Kelly.

As long as I'm here, I'll take Pussy Galore (Honor Blackman) from "Goldfinger"

futuremrsrickankiel said...

Anakin Skywalker from "Revenge of the Sith." He's so tormented and passionate. I bet he's absolutely ferocious in the sack.

Upstate Underdog said...

Demi Moore in Indecent Proposal

Grimey said...

Georgia Sykes (Alicia Keys) in Smokin' Aces

Hercules Rockefeller said...

Natalie (Maria Bello) from The Cooler.

little joe

Imperator Johannes said...

Elizabeth Taylor in Cleopatra.

That's right... kicking it old school.

Heretic said...

Selina Kyle (Catwoman) Michelle Pfeiffer Batman Returns

shouldBworkin said...

O-Ren Ishii from Kill Bill. Dangerous!

Mike said...

Lulu (Louise Brooks) in Pandora's Box. beautiful, trampy, and totally old-school.

How do the following not appear in this draft: winona in heathers, uma thurman in dangerous liaisons, fairuza balk in anything, melanie griffith in something wild, mary stuart masterson in some kind of wonderful.

yes I was a horny adolescent in the 80s, why do you ask?

John S. said...

Valeria from Conan the Barbarian.

Best movie girlfriend of all time.

KC Cal said...

Where the bond girls at? Xenia Onoatopp - Goldeneye. She'll kick your ass while you're tapping hers.

If you're into that kind of stuff at least.

brad said...

Tia Carrere in Wayne's World

Vanilla said...

Natasha Henstridge, Species - just as long as I can finish before she off's me.

Vanilla said...

@KC Cal - Onatopp is a great call.

Christmas Ape said...

Maribel Verdu in Y Tu Mama Tambien

SonOfSpam said...

Madeline Kahn in Blazing Saddles

"It's twue!!"

Soledad said...

Leeloo - The 5th Element

Heretic said...

The Devil (Elizabeth Hurley) Bedazzled

Christmas Ape said...

Paz Vega - Sex and Lucia

Jim U. said...

Jennifer Connoley - Requiem for a Dream. Yeah lesbian dildo scene.

Otto Man said...

Barbarella (Jane Fonda) in, well, "Barbarella."

John S. said...

Marilyn Monroe - The Seven Year Itch.

brad said...

Carrie Fisher (Princess Leia) in Return of the Jedi

Smello said...

James Bond from Casino Royale.

Oh, Daniel Craig you tight bathing suit wearing wonder you.

Upstate Underdog said...

@mike, no Molly Ringwald or Lea Thompson ?

I'll take both:
Ringwald in Pretty in Pink and Thompson in Red Dawn. Wolverines !

smurphette said...

@turleygirlie: WORD on Jake Brigance in ATTK.

My pick: Clive Owen as King Arthur. I would do anything that man wanted.

futuremrsrickankiel said...

@smello: Damn it, I was going to take Craig but I felt like I needed to let some other ladies chime in first... now I'm going to have to be selfish and go with Leo DiCaprio, from that scene in The Departed when he nails his psychiatrist on the counter. That scene alone was enough to win Best Picture in my book.

John S. said...

Jennifer Jason Leigh - Fast TIme at Ridgemont High.

That's right... in the dugout.

Otto Man said...

Syd (Gabrielle Union) from "Bad Boys II"

dick_gozinia said...

My #1 here would be Lucy Liu in Payback.

And Rebecca Romjin in Femme Fatale would have been my value pick in Round 2.

Ya Boy Blue said...

Gina Gershon... bound

@jim: "ASS to ASS!!!"

shouldBworkin said...

Dr Kathryn Railly (Madeleine Stowe) in Twelve Monkeys. I'v always had a thing for her. Thing.....ha ....spontanious dick joke.

Punch Rockgroin said...

Isla Fisher in Wedding Crashers. Sure, she's psychotic. But I likee me some crazy redhead.

Punch Rockgroin said...

Or... Jennifer Connelly. Career Opportunities. Ta-dow!

Big Daddy Drew said...

I would just like to reiterate: Hot Shots Part Deux is a terrible movie. But the blond chick in it (Brenda Bakke) is fucking beyond hot. It's a testament to her that I was able to whack it so often to a PG-13 movie.

"In my hands nothing turns to putty."

Romance Explosions said...

Susan - Big. a little old school, but it was awesome when he palmed her tit

Vanilla said...

Polly Prince (Aniston) in Along Came Polly.

brad said...

Kim Basinger (Vicki Vale) in Batman

foos said...

Although I could list half of the movie... Eurotrip

Meikie - Jessica Boehrs
Wierd Leather S&M Lady - Lucy Lawless

*Xena Warrior Princess anyone?*

oldefreddjung said...

dammit otto man, i was gonna take ol jane in that, but only if i got to pull the double osi (Shit and piss) all over her. Always been a dream of mine.

quiet strength said...

Salma Hayek in Desperado.

"Help me! Help me! This is Salma Hayek. Over here! Please help me! I am lost and I have no clothes!"

Smello said...

You other ladies have some truly execellent taste in the man meat.

My second pick, before I must return to actually working...

King Leonidas in 300.

Holy hell does that pre-war sex scene heat up a room.

dick_gozinia said...

Anne Hathaway - Havoc.

John S. said...

Rita Hayworth in Gilda

quiet strength said...

Also since we are way down the line now, I doubt I would be alone in recommending Reagan (Linda Blair) in Exorcist Part 2 when she is 18.

Vanilla said...

Julia Stiles, the Bourne Ultimatum. What? I can't explain it.

d_g: Hathaway is a great pick.

oldefreddjung said...

if i can't poop on jane fonda, i'll take jessica simpson from dukes of hazard, since i'd feel comfortable pooping on her.

shouldBworkin said...

Clarice Starling (Julianne Moore) Hannibal, What? You were thinking Jodi Foster? You draft her then! Punch, I too likee redheads!

TurleyGirlie said...

Brad Pitt in Oceans 11, 12, 13.


What a steal in this round.

Otto Man said...

Has anyone taken Estelle Getty from "Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot?"

quiet strength said...

I agree with the Hathaway call. Very much so.

brad said...

June Carter Cash (Reese Witherspoon) in Walk the Line

devang said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
E. Jason said...

Jeanne in Last Tango in Paris.

Yes, I will butter her roll.

devang said...

@otto man

You owe me a new keyboard.

Upstate Underdog said...

Samantha (Linda Cardellini) from Grandma's Boy and Shirley Jones from the same movie. She totally played a horny old slut in that movie.

John S. said...

Helena Bonham Carter in Fight Club

dick_gozinia said...

I'm just full of good ideas today...

Brittany Daniel in Joe Dirt.

(almost took her from Club Dread, but she's hotter in Joe Dirt)

smurphette said...

@turleygirlie: I think we have a mind meld or something, because you keep picking the ones I want! And now I can't pick him for Fight Club. Damn.

I'll go with Josh Lucas in Stealth. Hotness + uniform = yes, please.

oldefreddjung said...

Nina hartley from boogie nights, so i can lay someone in a driveway.

John S. said...

smurfette - If you took him from fight club, you would really be getting Ed Norton

Heretic said...

Jennifer Tilly Bride of Chucky

JimmyCraghorn said...

Raquel Welch in 1,000,000 BC

Otto Man said...

Sorry Devang.

Some guys like cougars, some guys like sabertooth tigers.

quiet strength said...

Fuck! Can't believe I forgot this one earlier - I know Angelina Jolie is long gone, but Julia Russell in Original Sin is worth the break in the rules.

brad said...

Jennifer Lopez in Selena

DougOLis said...

Keira Knightley in Bend It Like Beckham

smurphette said...

@john s. - A threesome with Brad Pitt and Edward Norton? Oh, holy god, yes.

devang said...

Aaliyah (Trish O'Day) in Romeo Must Die.

Hey she wasn't dead then!

Walker said...

kristy swanson in The Chase

TurleyGirlie said...

Sorry, smurphette...I couldn't believe he wasn't taken yet.



/trying to figure out if Becks has been in a movie

ASmith said...

The first action movie I saw was The Terminator.

Consequently, the first breasts I saw were Linda Hamilton's. I'll take her and her sweet near-mullet.

DougOLis said...

Carrie-Anne Moss (Trinity) in the Matrix

TurleyGirlie said...

Also...thanks for that threesome image.

/spank bank full now

Tom Brady's Man Chowder said...

Alabama Worely

ASmith said...

@ dougolis

I was debating her myself, but I couldn't get over her blank expressions during the sex in Matrix Reloaded.

ASmith said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
futuremrsrickankiel said...

Ooh, I like the King Leonidas call.

Damn it, I was DYING to take Adam Banks in D2:The Mighty Ducks; sadly, a little IMDB-ing reveals that young Vinnie LaRusso did not reach the age of consent until D3, in which he was no longer as cute. Let the record show that I would still absolutely take the 16-year-old Banks and have no qualms whatsoever about it (god, I used to teach high school...). However, in accordance with the rules of the draft, I'll take Ryan Reynolds in Van Wilder.

dick_gozinia said...

New Pick =
Alyssa Milano - Embrace of the Vampire.

Brittany Daniel - Joe Dirt
Anne Hathaway - Havoc
Rebecca Romijn Stamos - Femme Fatale
Lucy Liu - Payback

@dougolis - nice pick.

Biggus Rickus said...

Jennifer Johnson (?) Blame it on Rio (the girl Michael Caine was banging).

TurleyGirlie said...

Strangely enough...I'll take Doc Holliday (Val Kilmer) from Tombstone.

Don't ask me to explain - I can't.

DougOLis said...

@walker: Kristy Swanson was fucking hot in that. Plus the sex in the car while being chased down the free, nice.

Charlize Theron (Aileen) in Monster. Yeah, screw you bitches. I can't believe she wasn't taken and I'm waisting her on this.

JimmyCraghorn said...

P.J. Soles in Stripes with the "aunt jemimah" treatment.

John S. said...

smurfette - Well... I guess you might look at the pick that way.

For my next pick...

Tracy (Diana Rigg) from On Her Majesty's Secret Service

ASmith said...

300 is a nice call. However, I would have elected to have been the role of pitcher, rather than catcher.

DougOLis said...

@turelygirlie: In to dudes with TB?

Spud Randall said...

Lula Fortune (Laura Dern) Wild at Heart

devang said...

@dougolis

The rules are simple, draft a character from a movie, once the movie has been picked it is off limits and once an actress has been picked all of her other roles are off limits.

She's been picked. I tried as well.

Greg said...

Bo Dereck in 10

Biggus Rickus said...

Chloe from Fight Club - She's well prepared and I'd be going a good deed by fucking someone.

Heretic said...

Sharon Stone Basic Instinct

Tom Brady's Man Chowder said...

Sean Young in Dune

smurphette said...

@turleygirle: No need to apologize. That's the beauty of this game. Everybody wins :)

@futuremrs: Damn again! "Are you stalking me? Because that would be super." Oh well, at least the KSK commenter ladies have good taste in hypothetical one-night stands.

I pick James McAvoy in Atonement. That scene in the library . . . shivers going up my spine just thinking about it.

Sideline Armchair Crowd said...

Betsy Russell in "Private School"

The Capgun Bandit said...

How is Charlize Theron not taken yet? I'll take her in Monster...just kidding, Stella in Italian Job.

Also Christabella(connie neilsen) in Devils Advocate

Upstate Underdog said...

@JimmyCraghorn, I'm more of a Rock and Roll high School PJ Soles fan.

dick_gozinia said...

New Pick =

Jenna Fischer - Blades of Glory

Alyssa Milano - Embrace of the Vampire.
Brittany Daniel - Joe Dirt
Anne Hathaway - Havoc
Rebecca Romijn Stamos - Femme Fatale
Lucy Liu - Payback

The Capgun Bandit said...

Never mind on Charlize I was too late

Greg said...

cindy crawford in Fair Game

Spud Randall said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Leaking Geek said...

Diane Lane in Unfaithful.

That hallway scene is the tits!

devang said...

Mary McCormack (Alyson Stern)HowardStern: Private Parts

Upstate Underdog said...

I'll take a Bond girl. Cary Lowell as Pam Bouvier in License to Kill. very hot 20 years ago.

Heretic said...

Linda Fiorentino - Jade

brad said...

Penelope Cruz in Blow

Leaking Geek said...

Jeanne Tripplehorn - Basic Instinct

Over the Chair, baby!

quiet strength said...

Michelle Trachtenberg. I'll go with her in EuroTrip.

Landru said...

Sissy Knox (Parker Posey) in A Mighty Wind.

John S. said...

Tania Chernova (Racehl Wiecz) in Enemy at the Gates.

Nice to be with a girl who could try and group as well as I can.

Greg said...

Vera Farmiga from The Departed

dick_gozinia said...

New Pick =

Alicia Silverstone in Clueless

Roster:
Jenna Fischer - Blades of Glory
Alyssa Milano - Embrace of the Vampire.
Brittany Daniel - Joe Dirt
Anne Hathaway - Havoc
Rebecca Romijn Stamos - Femme Fatale
Lucy Liu - Payback

I think I have one more pick and then I actually have to work....

futuremrsrickankiel said...

Ok, just onnnnnnnnnnne more. Colin Farrell in Minority Report. He just gives off this disciplinarian vibe I could seriously get down with.

Hayden
Leo
Ryan
Colin

Sweet.

DC said...

FUCKKK. Imogen Poots from 28 Weeks Later breaks the rules by weeks... Ugh.

Tom Brady's Man Chowder said...

Has no one picked baby momma Bridget? in say, The Recruit

Upstate Underdog said...

Dorothy Vallens (Isabella Rossellini)in Blue Velvet

DougOLis said...

@devang: Where the fuck did I pick one that was already used? I searched and found no prior uses for any. Douche.

And my final pick (maybe): Hilary Swank as Brandon Teena in Boys Don't Cry.

wait, what?

Hahn said...

is it sad that the best part of the post for me was the ":("?

not to say it wasn't a great post, it was.

Landru said...

That one Drew Barrymore played in...oh, wait, you said over 18.

That one Natalie Portman played in...oh, wait, you said over 18.

Shit. Not my turn anyway.

Smitty Lite said...

Ariel (Ann-Margaret) in Grumpier Old Men. I like the cougars...

Smello said...

No - really - you ladies are reading my mind. I would've taken the Blade Trinity version of RR & the Top Gun version of Val, but I see the value in both of your picks.

Pick 3 is going back to my youth...

Matt Dillon in The Outsiders.

Spud Randall said...

MAria Bello - in a cheerleader outfit

brad said...

@ greg: "Bo Dereck in 10"

I never saw that movie, but I did see her in Tarzan, the Ape Man. I must say, she looked fucktastic.

Heretic said...

Winona Ryder Mina Murray - Dracula

devang said...

@dougolis

9. (MMP) Mary Ann Lomax - The Devils' Advocate

I like it when she starts turning into that other chick. It's like fucking two at once! I also like the idea of fucking an MRF.


there ya go.

quiet strength said...

Shannyn Sossamon as Lady Jocelyn in A Knight's Tale.

Ya Boy Blue said...

Elle "The Body" in Sirens

Lindsey said...

I am still, a half hour later, sitting at my desk wishing I was Diane Lane in the hallway scene. Lucky bitch.

Kyle321N said...

Leslie Bibb in Talladega Nights.

"You won't find another rack like that, I guarantee it"

Greg said...

with the steal of the draft I take Ali Larter from Varsity Blues ... all I have to say is whipped cream bikini

dick_gozinia said...

Final Roster:
Anne Heche - Wild Side
Alicia Silverstone - Clueless
Jenna Fischer - Blades of Glory
Alyssa Milano - Embrace of the Vampire.
Brittany Daniel - Joe Dirt
Anne Hathaway - Havoc
Rebecca Romijn Stamos - Femme Fatale
Lucy Liu - Payback

Winner Winner, chicken dinner.

Tom Brady's Man Chowder said...

That chick from Saving Silverman

Smitty Lite said...

Beth (Amy Smart) from Road Trip. How has no one taken her yet?

Landru said...

I'm fucking Parker Posey, and you're claiming victory? Try again, dood.

Leaking Geek said...

Kate Capshaw in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom

You call him Dr Jones!

DougOLis said...

oh, I see. I stand corrected. I forgot that was her.

I just realized that Keira Knightley may have been sub-18 in Bend It Like Beckham. But she's British so it doesn't count right? Since age of consent is lower? If not, I switch it to Pride and Prejudice.

Upstate Underdog said...

@landru, give me some Parker Posey in House of Yes.

Nice call.

smurphette said...

Last pick of the day: Jason Statham in Snatch.

King Arthur
Lt. Ben Gannon
Robbie Turner
Turkish

I am the Bill Polian of KSK mock drafts. Some big names, some sleepers, all hitting my needs perfectly. Yowza.

dtro said...

Elizabeth Banks--40 year old virgin

Freaky as shit

Landru said...

It's okay, Dougolis, I wouldn't have fucked Drew Barrymore at any age.

quiet strength said...

@sl - I was torn between Amy Smart and Shannyn Sossamon. I figured Sossamon had more length and upside - not to mention she's a poor man's Keira Knightley. I stand by my decision.

GldnKnight5 said...

Mandy Pepperidge - Animal House

The late great John Belushi and his ladder would agree.

Smello said...

OK - since my boss has been in here twice, I really do need to work. So, I'm picking two.

Eric Bana as Hector in that abomonation that was Troy.

Dominic Purcell in Blade: Trinity.

Daniel Craig/James Bond
Gerard Butler/King Leonidas
Matt Dillon/Dallas Winston
Eric Bana/Hector
Dominic Purcell/Drake

And...I'm done.

Kevin said...

Isla Fischer in Hot Rod.

Still just as hot as she was in Wedding Crashers, but incredibly kind, sensitive and understanding instead of psychopathic and sexually insatiable.

I'm a softie.

devang said...

@GldnKnight5

Nice, although I would've picked Shelly Dubinsky (Fawn Leibowitz's roommate)

My last pick is Mo'nique from Beerfest

Kyle321N said...

I'll leave with 2 and be happy. This one is a "you have to like this type of girl" pick, but I am going with:

Ellen Page from Juno (pre-pregnant scenes)

Roster:
Leslie Bibb (Talladega Nights)
Ellen Page (Juno)

And I am taking my ball and going home.

dtro said...

Brittany (Susan Ward)-The In Crowd

Grimey said...

It's nice that I can come back from lunch and still pick up Sue (Lauren Graham) from Bad Santa

Greg said...

Kathy Ireland in Necessary Roughness

yournamehere said...

April (Eva Mendes) from Stuck on You.

Isis (Gabrielle Union) from Bring it On.

Landru said...

Dammit Grimey! Nice call.

Romance Explosions said...

Nicole Eggert as Megan in the real version of Blown Away, even if it is sloppy thirds to both Corey's

quiet strength said...

Jennifer Love Hewitt is still available, I believe. I'll take her in I Still Know What You Did Last Summer.

Upstate Underdog said...

Rene Mosier (Shannon Doherty) from Mallrats

I'm in a Frat said...

Not gonna lie... It's gonna get a little weird...

Jasmine from Aladdin. Not into cartoons, but I'd make an exceptio...er- I mean if she were a real person. Yea that's it.

Landru said...

Sarah Silverman as herself in Jesus is Magic.

Although some serious washing might be in order to remove the Kimmel leavings.

dtro said...

Christina Applegate in Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead

I like it for such a late pick

KC Cal said...

Veronica Vaughn from Billy Madison.

"That Veronica Vaughn is one hot piece of ass." - Chris Farley

Classic.

Stitchface said...

Bai Ling? "2046?" I must have missed that... Or is it the standard "All Asians look alike" thing?

My pick is Anna Karina in Band of Outsiders.

Snooty!

Greg said...

Foxxy Cleopatra (Beyonce) in Austin Powers Goldmember

Brando said...

Patricia Arquette in True Romance.

Going ahead of Rosanna due the larger bosoms and lack of metal in her face.

hi there mary said...

Ladies... no Christian Bale? I'll take the twins from "the Prestige."

dtro said...

Ray Charles' wife (Kerry Washington)

Landru said...

I don't see C.Z. Jones up there, but Ocean's Twelve was taken by one of the girls, so I guess I'll go with her in the abominable Mark of Zorro.

GldnKnight5 said...

If we're going into cartoons, then Ariel from The Little Mermaid.

She might actually be hotter with the fishtail instead of legs.