Sunday, February 3, 2008

The KSK Guide to Insufferable, F--kface, S--thead, LOSER Patriots Fans


NEW YORK GIANTS 2/3/2008: NOW I SHOW YOU SOME TRICK OR TWO


Bill Simmons 11/9

For better or worse, that's our mantra for the 2007 season. After the legitimacy of the three Super Bowl titles was questioned, there was only one response: 19-0. The players keep saying they're taking it one game at a time; I say they're full of crap. They want to join the '72 Dolphins and destroy everyone along the way. Why? Because bleep everybody, that's why. After Welker clinched the Colts game with a crucial first-down catch, he defiantly hopped up and screamed at the poor cornerback covering him, "YOU F------ SUCK!" Unquestionably, it was the defining play of the season -- not just that the Patriots converted the exact same situation that killed them last January (when they could have clinched a Super Bowl trip with one more completion on third-and-short), but that Welker displayed such arrogant disdain after finishing the Colts off.

Only two years ago, I wrote that the Colts would be crazy for pursuing an undefeated season and risking injuries when the only thing that mattered was a Super Bowl title. Now? I guess I'm a hypocrite. If you asked any Patriots fan to pick between two doors that determined the rest of the season -- behind Door No. 1, the team would lose once but have a 100 percent chance to win the Super Bowl, and behind Door No. 2, there would be two-in-three chance at a 19-0 season or a one-in-three chance that the team would lose in the playoffs -- a surprising number of fans would roll the dice with that second door. Including me.

BY SUPERMIKE4EVER AT 10/23/07 11:24 AM

PREVIOUS SSW
Taking out Tom Brady's legs is the only way to save this season from certain Pats 19-0 domination.

NEW SSW
Just sit back and try to enjoy it, it'll hurt less.

supermike4ever commented on Don Shula Will Assign You An Asterisk And You Will Wear It, at 1:38 PM on Nov 7

the Patriots are the best team in football*

-
-
-
* ever

supermike4ever commented on Don Shula Will Assign You An Asterisk And You Will Wear It, at 1:01 PM on Nov 7

the '07 patriots would beat the '72 dolphins by 51.

supermike4ever commented on Britney Spears' "Gimme More," The Video: In Which Our Heroine Takes To The Pole, at 10:08 AM on Oct 5

THIS IS BRITNEY'S SARGENT PEPPER'S!!!!!

THIS SONG WILL LIVE IN INFAMY AS THE GREATEST SINGLE MUSICAL COMPOSITION SINCE GARY GLITTERS ROCK AND ROLL 2!!

GREATEST EVERERERERR!!!!!!!

BY SUPERMIKE4EVER AT 01/15/08 06:56 PM

@calmasacucumber: oooooh now you're in trouble.

the fact of the matter of fact is this: Brady's NUMBERS could NEVER SUGGEST even a FRACTION of the greatness that exists in Brady's little finger's fingernail's hangnail's dust particle.

not that Brady has ever gotten a hangnail.

BY SUPERMIKE4EVER AT 04:03 PM

DoucheGate!

Pats: Best football team ever.... or best ANYTHING AT ALL ever?

BY SUPERMIKE4EVER AT 11:45 AM

Today is going to be a good day.

Robert said...

Let's make two things perfectly fucking clear: Nobody can question that the fix was on against NE last Sunday - it was just too damn obvious. That may be troublesome to those hoping for 19-0 until they realize the only competition left for NE is, well, ummm, nobody, really.

11:30 AM, November 10, 2007

Robert said...

Grrrrr! The angry n---er speaks! Oo-Oo

Interesting fact that I'm sure you will appreciate, ape. Did you know that the ape is considered the smartest non humanoid on earth?

Thought you would like that, you witless moron.

19-0, baby. Eat those bananas.



It’s over, you bandwagon Massengill sluts. Let's see you print some T-shirts for this shit. The Greatest Choke Job of ALL-TIME. Not like it matters. No one is ever going to let you forget.


42 comments:

BEHM777 said...

Amen Ape. We will NE'ER let them forget.

SlideShow Bob said...

Eli is a superbowl winning QB, suck on that bitches.

Oh and did anyone else see Big Ben's American Idol commercial, damn hes retarded.

Charbel J said...

Y'all on the road back to Plano, ya done missed the greatest comeback of all time. Of ALL TIME!

Eli, you did it for all the semi-retarded younger brothers out there. Good for you, homie.

italfreak32 said...

it took 4 years but plax finally made steeler nation rejoice.

Jeremy said...

Suck it massholes! What a gameplan by Spagnola.

Oh and Simmons, karma's a bitch isn't it?

Porky1 said...

The worst thing for the Massholes has to be the the double aftertaste of Manning and NY spooge in their mouths.

Moof! said...

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
NOW ALL THATS LEFT IS FOR YOUR PIECE OF SHIT CELTICS TO COLLAPSE IN THE PLAYOFFS.

DIE

Andrew said...

eli really showed me his MVPness tonight. .....still looks like a muppet, though.

Hooks Orpik said...

Haterade has never tasted so good. Suck it Boston you fucking smug ass fucks.

BabyBananaGrabber said...

How incredibly satisfying

/does Roger Rabbit dance

Lyman said...

I've never been happier for a Superbowl Champion not named The Colts. Wow, there is so much shit to talk, I don't know where to begin; in one Manning don't git ya' the other one will, karma's a bitch, Mamma always told me "Cheaters never prosper" ... I need time to organize it all.

JohnEDowney said...

Props to the Giants. They played well throughout, and deserve that trophy. I would have preferred a Patriots victory, but at least it was a close game.

(objectivity is thrown aside)

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

BeckEye said...

>>Oh and did anyone else see Big Ben's American Idol commercial, damn hes retarded.

Hey now! I like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain.

Just watched Belichick's post-game interview...a gracious loser as always. Hahahahaha. Prick.

HamdenBorn said...

So which current or former New England beat writer will come up with the original manuscript of "The Last Night of the Patriot Dynasty"?

Leaking Geek said...

From the Belicheat Post Game interview:

mumblemumblemumblemumble....FUCK!

Suck.
On.
That.
Patriot.
Nation.

Matt said...

Remember the Pink Taco!
/The Alamo

Robert Ullman said...

Un-fucking-believable. I take back everything bad I ever said about football.

And Coach Belicheat...what a class act, eh? Leaves the field early, then doesn't even give the obligatory "Congrats to the Giants" in his terse postgame interview. I hope he kills himself. Fuck the Patriots. May the Massholes drown in Haterade.

Taliek Brown said...

I'm crying tears of happiness. It can't be said enough. FUCK YOU PATS, belicheat, and especially dickfucks like SUPERMIKE. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Eli = Joe Namath is now a fantastic comparison

Question_Mark said...

I'm beginning to wonder how many Patriots fans are trying to renig on their purchase of the "19-0" book Amazon had up on pre-order.

Junker23 said...

So this is what an epic collapse feels like? I don't like it.

I puked.

Jackin'4Beats said...

Patriots Fans = Assholes
Belichick = Prick

Patriots losing to a NY team in the Super Bowl = PRICELESS.

MASSINGILL MUTHAFUCKAS!!!!!!!!

HAHAHAHAHA

Laughing Week said...

Mmmmm I have a feeling I'm going to have to avoid any and all things sports related for a while, as people have been waiting the entire season to unleash a torrent of vitrol onto this team and their fanbase, of which I count myself a part of. However, I wanted to say one thing before my seclusion.

The Giants deserved to win the game. They played head and shoulders above a Patriots team who looked like the pressure of an undefeated season finally got to them. I want to hate the Giants, but I can't, when one team outplays the other, they deserve to win, and the Giants deserved to win. So congratulations to them, congratulations to the Patriots for a tremendous season. Now I'm going to go sulk for a while

oldefreddjung said...

i really don't know what more to say. I've already ejaculated in my jeans 4 times.
too good.

oldefreddjung said...

oh, and really.
new england fans, fuck you so much. really. in the eye.

oldefreddjung said...

now excuse me, but i now have to screw my wife. enjoy fucking your doorknobs, patsies fans.

larry b said...

Gregg Easterbrook was just admitted to Georgetown Hospital with what is currently being called a ruptured testicle. He may or may not have suffered penile injuries as well.

Dickens Cider said...

I feel terrible that such a terrific and humble person like Randy Moss still doesn't have a super bowl ring...HAHAHAHA

Porky1 said...

Just confirmed the Eli shirt purchase. I will proudly wear my Haterade. As a Raider fan still smarting from the Tuck Rule, this was oh so sweet.

Squatch said...

NFL: "Hi. Would you like a perfect season and immortality?"

Patriots: "Why, yes. Yes, I would. Thanks so much!"

NFL: "Here ya go..."

Patriots: *huck huck huckhuck huck HUCK HUCK HUCKHUCKHUCKHUCKHUCK... HUUUUUUCCCCKKKK!*

NFL: "Dude. You're not supposed to puke on it..."

Patriots: "I have oww-ies from those big guys."

Man Bear Pig said...

I'm a diehard Dallas fan who still hopes Eli chokes to death sometime within the next 73 seconds for being my beloved Cowboys.

But DAMN, am I happy the Pats lost. No amount of Giant-loathing I possess could make me unhappy.

Right now, if you asked me whether I'd rather see Dallas go to the SB and lose to the Pats, or the Giants go and win, it'd be Giants Giants Giants.

I can't WAIT to read Bill "Arrogant Douchebad" Simmons' next column.

smurphette said...

Wow, I didn't know that schadenfreude could feel this good. Frankly, I'm a little turned on.

AND HOLLER AT MY BOY JUSTIN TUCK! (ND '05)

This is almost as fun as the Colts winning last year. Did I enjoy watching Brady get hit on almost every play? Fuck and YES.

yournamehere said...

HA! 18-1!

Squatch said...

Y'know, re-reading my previous post... Sigh...

I really don't like the fact that I come off as a vindictive a-hole. I mean, that's pretty classless. I swear, I will make sure I finish every comment I ever make, no matter how difficult the situation, and I will never walk away before......

Squatch said...

*grumble grumble grumble...*
...
...
...
*waaaaahhh!*

Slims said...

Hey, let's give something to Pats fans, their team still accomplished something historic.

They went 18-1. I mean, that's got to mean something.

...

Wait, you mean an undefeated season followed by a loss in the Super Bowl means nothing? Well, I guess it is worthless.

rock & rye said...

HAW-HAW

/nelson muntz

The Fletchinator said...

I can't wait for the inevitable Simmon's "We Gave that Game Away" column. Can't wait to blow a victorious load all over it. Smug asshat.

Michael said...

This is Brady's comeuppance for ruining my fantasy team in the championship. Fuck you Dreamboat. In your finely chiseled chin cleft

Miyamoto's Chin said...

The Patriots lost on purpose to motivate themselves for next season. It's part of Belichick's plan to have 3 straight undefeated seasons after this one. Seriously, teams throw games all the time in the NFL. Remember the Colts Chargers game? Colts lost on purpose so they could escape the humiliation of losing to The Greatest Team Ever.

/Simmons

Dan said...

Not to defend Pats fans, but they would beat the '72 Dolphins by 50. Hell, this year's Dolphins would. Was there a single player in the NFL over 300 lbs in 1972? I'm pretty sure Strahan and Tate outweigh the entire Miami OL.

Ben said...

At least Bill Simmons got the Giants score right in his prediction. Too bad for him he was over by TWENTY EIGHT GODDAM POINTS on the Patreeuts.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

zz said...
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