Friday, February 8, 2008

Fictional Cheerleader Biographies: Quinn and Alysha

This is Alysha.

Rather than being a cheerleader in high school, Alysha took a lot of dance classes. She aspired to be a ballerina, taking as many as 20 hours a week of dance from age five all the way through high school. As such, her classmates saw her as standoffish and prissy, and she never enjoyed the social life most teenagers enjoy.

Bypassing college to try to "make it" in New York, knee problems and her curvy figure derailed her dreams of being a prima ballerina for American Ballet Theater. That's when she became a cocktail waitress, let loose, and finally started sucking some cock.

This is Quinn.

As her name implies, she comes from a wealthy New England family. She went to boarding school. She started kissing girls at 11, drinking at 12, and sucking cock at 13.

Seriously, what Alysha knows about sucking cock would be a mere sentence in the encyclopedia of Quinn's cock-sucking ability.

Big thanks to Maxim for the photo shoot of Pats cheerleaders.


Phony Gwynn said...

[sees picture of Alysha]


[stops hating on the Patriots for ... uh ... a few minutes]

Jim U. said...

Alysha: Still too dark for most Massholes.

denvergodfather said...

Alysha is way hotter but i am partial to excellent cocksucking abilities. Have a nice weekend degenerates.

QueeferSuthrland said...


I would do vile, vile things to these girls

...and then I would take out out my penis for some Giant Snatch.

Fuck that seemed too forced.

And here's some video of Quinn!

smurphette said...

This is a nice complement to all the talk of "the greatest choke job of all time" in previous posts. I'm sure Quinn would have something to say about that.

Chip Fu said...

Quinn was last seen being groped by Francis Begbie.

NHZ said...

Alysha: Still too dark for most Massholes.


s said...

alysha. wow.

quinn, however, is a bit mannish.

Dr.VanNostren said...

@ s
why is that because it resembles Alexis Arquette??

JohnDewar said...

Alysha used to spell her name "Alisha", until she started sucking cock.

That made her special.

So she became "Alysha".

fleurdelista said...

Alysha = I'd hit it.
Quinn = Ewww.

Punch Rockgroin said...

I'd be better off if I didn't know their names.

Gonzo said...

Fucking brilliant post.

More Brilliancy: I had the word "fuckin", but Spell Check said it was wrong. I added the G and it is now right as rain.

JAMMQ said...

So how many people googled Alysha to find more pics? I know I did.

Jeff K said...

Mannish? What are you people looking at? Okay, she might have man hands from ripping apart all those lobsters, but come on.

Those two pictures are probably the least flattering shots of those two girls. Nice job, Maxim douchebags.

But yeah, if I had a choice (which I don't, and neither do you) I'd rather take Alysha behind the barn and "derail her dreams".


Tech N9ne's Tribute to Falco said...

Ah yes, the old adage 'nice body and a busted face makes for one swell slutbuggy.'