Tuesday, February 19, 2008

The Patriots' Black Fan Reacts to the Contract Offer to Zach Thomas


SAUSAGES

SAUSAGES

SAUSAGES

OLD WHITE LINEBACKERS

SAUSAGES

SAUSAGES

ALL ASANTE'S FAULT

SAUSAGES

SAUSAGES

SAUSAGES

MORE WHITE PLAYERS FROM THE DOLPHINS

SAUSAGES

SAUSAGES

SAUSAGES

OLD WHITE LINEBACKERS

SAUSAGES

SAUSAGES

STOP BEATING ME

SAUSAGES

36 comments:

Otto Man said...

I heard they tried to get Ray Nitschke first, but were informed he'd been dead for a decade.

The Raiders promptly signed him.

westbrook is my anti-drug said...

The Raiders also tried to sign Fidel Castro, but it turns out he only played baseball.

The Redskins promptly signed him.

Grimey said...

"How long on those sausages, Charlie?"

"Five minutes, Turkish."

"You said it was two minutes five minutes ago...."

Chris(BessMervinGirlDetective) said...

The Raiders also made a surprise move by signing free agent Johnny Utah. Utah as you remember last played for Ohio State in the Rose Bowl leaving the game earlier with a blown knee.

smurphette said...

smurphette : turkish :: "black fan" : sausages

Upstate Underdog said...

don't you mean "snausages"?

Cousins of Ron Mexico said...

BACON!

The Pirate Sloth said...

Are you sure there's only ONE?

Tom Brady's Man Chowder said...

How come Roethy didn't make the all meast team?

Christmas Ape said...

NO, IT'S NOT SNAUSAGES! THAT'S A DIFFERENT COMMERCIAL! CLICK THE GODDAMN LINK!

Upstate Underdog said...

my bad, it appears I have angered the Ape and we all know an angry Ape is a good Ape.

WhiteSpeedReceiver said...

Even the black Patriots fans wear white player jerseys.

Otto Man said...

Someone needs to tell Ape that, these days, decaf coffee can be just as tasty as the real thing.

smurphette said...

Could it be that Ape is just a little overwrought about the presidents' race tryouts yesterday? I guess he didn't make the cut. But it's true, the Gay Mafia gets exponentially more hilarious the angrier they are.

J.L. White said...

Not to defend the Douchebag Nation, or anything, but the Pats have done more over the last year or so than just acquire white guys from the Miami Dolphins. They also traded for Randy Moss, and.....he's blacker than Snoop Dogg's scottish terrier.

Randy Moss is black y'all. Randy Moss is blackity black y'all, and he's blacker than black y'all. He's black black blackidy black cuz he's black and he's BACK!

(Actually, he's not back, because he'll probably be waived/traded/lynched soon, since the Pats didn't win the Super Bowl.)

/rittle lacist

quiet strength said...

/finding it weird that Snoop Doggy Dogg and George W. Bush have the same dog...

SonOfSpam said...

Is that a Border Collie? If so, say hello to the smartest Patriots fan in the world.

Christmas Ape said...

I still might make the cut, but probably won't once they figure out who the guy is that's writing about the tryout on a widely read blog.

smurphette said...

Yeah, just saw the Deadspin post.

"Hill staffers I want to garrote with piano wire." Yikes. I hope I don't fall within that group, but I can't begrudge you the sentiment since I feel the same way about many of my colleagues.

Christmas Ape said...

It's like FutureMrs. with the Pats fans, smurphette - you're one of the good ones. You coming to Deadspin reading on Thrs.?

smurphette said...

Ha, thanks. Being grouped with futuremrs is not a bad place to be. I'm definitely going to the book signing if I can get off work in time. Even if it is in Georgetown.

Tech N9ne's Tribute to Falco said...

Wehah veyey much admiye your mistah Rincoln.

Punch Rockgroin said...

And just like the Patriots, he left something on the carpet.

Otto Man said...

I just read the Ape story at Deadspin.

He'll save children, but not the British children, indeed.

+ eleventy

Jackin'4Beats said...

It's definitely not snausages UU, it's this.

Watch Ape go 0 to pissed in 3.5 seconds.

BWAHAHAHA.

BEHM777 said...

What about the Patriot's Nicaraguan fans? What? They got T-shirts?

Christmas Ape said...

Okay, okay, the reaction was a little much, but only because Ufford had made the same mistake a few minutes earlier.

Pemulis said...

wait... but so, if the link isn't to the snausages commercial, what could it possibly be to? I didn't click the link, but I'm just going to assume it is, in fact, snausages... It's snausages, right?

Dan said...

behm77 - the nicaraguan fans make the t-shirts. and they don't understand the complexity of futbol americano.

BEHM777 said...

@ Dan

CLEARLY you don't know sarcasm when you hear it. The NFL sent Patriots 19-0 (snicker) gear to Nicaragua. But you are correct, they do not understand American football (other than the "keek ball, get check" part).

Jackin'4Beats said...

The irony of it all...

Not only are those 19-0 shirts made in Nicaragua, but the poor little children get to wear their own handiwork with the NFL equivalent of Dewey defeats Truman until those shirts get ruined in a drug-related drive by.

Dan said...

...or drug related horse-and-buggy-by. We're talking the Nic', after all.

@ behm - sarcasm is the highest form of humor.

BEHM777 said...

@ Dan

Not that you care, but I think satire is the higest form of humor. Sarcasm is just a$$hattery disguised as whatever the author decides he or she wants it to be AFTER the fact; that way they have a ready made excuse for said sarcasm not hitting the mark.

OD said...

It's fucking hard as hell to get mad at the endless Patriot bashing when I'm too busy laughing. Damned incompatible emotions.

Clutch Is Everything said...

loooolll

may the patriots/boston bashing never end

TheTillShow said...

I guess the "black fan" didn't care that the line let Osi be Osi on Tom Brady.