Saturday, February 2, 2008

YOU GOTTA BE F--KING KIDDING ME


NO FUCKING CRIS CARTER IN THE HALL, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES?!!! What, since Art Monk got in you filled up your COMPLETELY IMAGINARY, ARBITRARY AND FUCKING IDIOTIC RECEIVER QUOTA?! No room for the greatest sideline receiver in NFL history?

I hope you get fucking angina.

Hey, Hall of Fame voters, I'd like to induct you into my asshole. Be sure to wear a yellow blazer and a protective helmet, you fucking fucks. I watched every game this asshole played for 11 goddamn years AND I DON'T EVEN LIKE HIM. What, does everyone have to wait to get their just due now? Five years not enough? Is this the fucking Oscars now?

AND ANDRE TIPPETT GETS IN OVER DERRICK THOMAS?!

Kiss my fucking dick.

32 comments:

StuScottBooyahs said...

He called Woody Paige an asshole.

twoeightnine said...

How does a 5 time Pro Bowler make it in before a 9 time Pro Bowler who was one of the most dominating players of his generation? I guess Goodell destroyed all the video of Thomas too.

Otto Man said...

AND ANDRE TIPPET GETS IN OVER DERRICK THOMAS?!

Seriously. I am pissed off beyond words.

Nine fucking Pro Bowls. Three-time All Pro. Single game sack record. Career record for forced fumbles. And did more charity work around Kansas City than the fucking United Way.

Struck down in the prime of life, only to be mocked by that shitfuck Isaac Bruce.

Fuckity fuck fuck fuck.

Tom Holzerman said...

I think the voters were influenced too much by Buddy Ryan.

Raskolnikov said...

"I would've voted for Cris Carter. He bought me a Methuselah of Reignac 02. In most years, that kind of commitment gets the doctor's vote.

But this year, Art Monk finally pulled out his wallet and got me a bottle of Caymus 04. And Andre Tippett is a member of the tribe. Sorry Cris, maybe next year.

That selfish bastard Thomas didn't even bother sending a 750 mL of Sutter Home White Zin."

dickey simpkins said...

Apparently there's a window of agony for WR's to go through before they get inducted.

John R said...

I heard awhile back that ex-Vikings will always have trouble getting in as long as "Senile" Sid Hartman is representing them. Apparently none of the other writers can stand the guy.

Mike said...

Tippett over Thomas? That's a travesty, but he also got in over Dent! Did the committee not see a single tape of Super Bowl XX?

SlideShow Bob said...

Chris Carter- All he does is catch touchdowns, and get snubbed for the Hall apparently.

JAMMQ said...

And here we have the reason why the D.C. area should be blown up. Redskins fans rejoice, while football fans everywhere else are in disbelief at this injustice.

Chris Carter never dropped a fucking pass.

And Derrick Thomas, I mean, come the fuck on.

Congrats, to Green and Monk, but WTF Hall of Fame voters?

/writing drunk is fun too

ben said...

Michael Irvin had to wait a year. Cris Carter had to wait a year. Art Monk waited eight years. Carter will get in next time, but there's no question he did deserve to get in over Tippett.

B.E. Earl said...

Cris Carter deserved to get in for taking Randy Moss under his wing.

It's gotta smell real bad having an asshole that close to you.

devang said...

Andre Tippet over Derrick Thomas!?!? The NFL HOF is devolving into the MLB HOF with all their stupidity.

Were the voters influenced by Carter's incoherent ramblings on Inside the NFL? That's the only reason I can think of this fucking oversight

deafjeff said...

I think Andre Reed got shafted too. His numbers are better than anybody not in the HOF.

The Inevitable Muck-up said...

Carter not getting in is bullshit. He's #2 in receptions in a career
#2 in touchdown receptions in a career
#3 for receptions in a season
#3 most seasons leading the league in touchdown receptions
And #1 in most season spent preventing Randy Moss from running over traffic cops while stoned.

BabyBananaGrabber said...

When you throw the ball to Cris Carter in Madden 2001, John Madden tells this story about a time when he touched Cris' arm and "it felt like a piece of iron." Homo-eroticism at its best. I never played as the Packers but I'll bet he brags about blowing Brett Favre if he throws a touchdown pass.

rar288 said...

Super Bowl MVP, 137.5 career sacks, 38 FF's... Richard Dent got robbed. I'd put him in over Tippett.

JonRox said...

Receptions: 2nd all-time (1101); behind only Jerry Rice
Receiving TD's: 2nd all-time (130); behind only Jerry Rice
Receiving yards: 5th all-time (13,899); behind only Jerry Rice, Tim Brown, James Lofton, and Marvin Harrison

So essentially he's the second best receiver, statistically, ever. He's better in all three categories than Monk (and is better in all three categories than every hall of fame receiver, except for Rice in all three and Lofton in yards).

Heck they even let Michael Irvin in the Hall last year. Cris was better than him and they played essentially at the same time. Good luck Tim Brown (third best receiver ever statistically), who will be eligible in '10.

StuScottBooyahs said...

@jammq: It is outrageous that they snubbed him. Almost as outrageous as the fact that someone outraged about it can't even spell his fucking name.

Punch Rockgroin said...

Although Ray Guy didn't make it, I'm pleased that the continued wails of Donk fans shall fill my ears as Gradishar was snubbed.

JAMMQ said...

It is outrageous that they snubbed him. Almost as outrageous as the fact that someone outraged about it can't even spell his fucking name.

And then you wonder why Captain Caveman hates commenters?

There is an h in douche, I know that much.

Tech N9ne's Tribute to Falco said...

Andre Tippett over Thomas? I'll give you 3 fucking guesses as to what Masswipe is responsible for this travesty.

I don't mind the theoretical abominations he lives out Farve's genitalia here, but when he starts fucking up the real world...

I hope Mr. T bites his dick off with his asshole.

Otto Man said...

In Jammq's defense, Chris Carter deserves to get in for his excellent work on The X Files.

SDW said...

Why's that, rockgroin?? Because you know as well as I do that Gradishar should be in?

And please, cool the Ray Guy bullshit. The guy touched the ball 4 times a game. Sorry, you need to be an IMPACT player to go in.

Averaging 200 tackles a year makes Gradishar a fucking Hall of Famer.

Take heart, Drew: At least Zimmerman went in.

Unsilent Majority said...

It should be noted that Monk had the most receptions of all time when he retired...and it took him 8 years.

Canton is gay.

Drave said...

Emmitt Smith:
Did someone say angina? I wants some o' dat!

Drave said...

@sdw:
Ray Guy was awesome. Yeah he only touched the ball 4 times a game but he had incredible hang time and was the king of the Coffin Corner. One of the reasons for the the Guy-era Raiders success was that they often pinned their opponents back against their goal.

JAMMQ said...

Canton is gay.

Peter King, Elisha Manning, Grey's Anatomy gay.

SDW said...

@drave:

No doubt that Guy was a great punter. The fact is there are guys that more directly impacted the game that are NOT in (see Thomas, Derrick and Gradishar, Randy). If there was a special teams hall of fame, he'd be in there. And I'm sure he's in the Raiders hall of fame. But come on.

Gradishar: 200 tackles a year. 2000+ for his 10 year career. But not in the hall of fame? I mean... REALLY?

Digital Headbutt said...

Andre Tippett is a 5th degree black belt. The HOF committee probably had to choose between electing him and having their necks snapped in their sleep.

Drave said...

@sdw:
Not arguing Guy's relative HOF-ness, just that he WAS great.
The HOF is a joke anyhow.
Memorable to me was in Dierdorf's acceptance speech when he said to his wife "we made it"... there should be an NFL wives HOF: Class of 2008 inductee Debbie Dierdorf, for puttin' up with that asshole and hith falth teef for all these years.

Sonic Tooth said...

Gradishar should be in...
(Donk fan wailing)