Friday, February 29, 2008

KSK Free Agency News and Notes


At KSK, we're painstakingly committed to creating a list of all the barely relevant early free agency transactions, losing that list, then reporting the results from memory.

  • Gus Frerotte and Isaac Bruce released by the Rams. Who will Gus start two games for next season? You know some hapless team will pick him up and it will be long before David Carr and Byron Leftwich get a look. That's right, Drew, get that Frerotte's Fr'real shirt back from Mottram.
  • Tedy Bruschi decided to come back for one more season as a Patriot. Having already lost out on Zach Thomas sweepstakes, having Bruschi calling it a career would've put the Patriots below the number of required white linebackers as laid out in the charter of the Commonwealth of Massholia.
  • The Browns signed Horse Balls to a long-term deal! Brady Quinn doesn't think it so FABULOUTH.
  • The Chiefs let Ty Law go, only to watch his wheelchair careen wildly down a steep hill. Fuckers.
  • The Vikings signed Madieu Williams, a former member of the Bengals secondary, for $33 million. Which is only slightly less disturbing than having two former Terps in your starting D.
  • Jets trade for Kris Jenkins, trade away Jonathan Vilma to Saints. Wow, that's a lot of players who used to be good.
  • Kawika Mitchell signs with the Bills, but really, they just want his ring.
  • Jerry Porter to the Jaguars. So, naturally, the Jags are still looking for a receiver.
  • The Redskins, meanwhile, are expressing interest in possibly signing former Seahawks receiver D.J. Hackett.

Says flubby: "Wow, do they have enough lights on the scoreboard to record all the points that Hackett and Reche Caldwell are going to score?"

Well, if not, that big stupid marching band they have can always form a zero.

31 comments:

dickey simpkins said...

Pinnacle of class to cut the franchise player Bruce to create cap space for the murderer in Leonard Little.

futuremrsrickankiel said...

I miss Ty Law.

5150 said...

The Colts should pick up Ty Law just so that Manning can just throw picks to him in practice, not real games.

Also, no one gives two shits about the Redskins. They are a pathetic team that will never do well.

There I said it. Quit posting about them. Sure it's fun to ridicule friends who happen to root for a fucking horrible team, but the rest of us miss out the other 25 teams or so that suck.

Captain Caveman said...

The Springfield Shopper? I'm a Shelbyville Daily man, myself. Once a week, every week.

Maj has the right to post whatever he wants.

Much to our chagrin. (Kidding!)

jonathan said...

wasn't that squirrel assassinated by the end of the episode?

5150 said...

fratboy
Yeah, but you know what? This one, this blog right here. This was my dream, my wish. And it didn't come true. So I'm taking it back. I'm taking them all back.

Leaking Geek said...

...the number of required white linebackers as laid out in the charter of the Commonwealth of Massholia.

I was missing the Mass Hate Machine, so muchas gracias Ape.

PS - Over/Under on the required #?

brad said...

@ leaking geek: Over/Under on the required #?

Since they run a 3-4, I'm guessing 8.

quiet strength said...

Surely Dan Morgan has to be all over the Patriot's radar.

Spud Randall said...

VILMA IS A SAINT!!!!!!

Grimey said...

The Pats better keep their shifty hands off of Barrett Ruud

1972DavidBowieFromTheZiggyStardustTour said...

I hear Shane Conlan is looking to make a comeback...

I'm in a Frat said...

@5150- Fair enough. That is indeed your right. But it's Frat MAN (Zoolander).

Just realized Ape wrote this. I figured it was Maj because of the Redskins news... I'm a moron.

fallex said...

Hackett is actually a good receiver. Too bad he'll be injured for +/- 8 games.

Tom Brady's Man Chowder said...

FYI, If it's got something involving racism and the patriots it was probably XApe.

And if it references a TV commercial you don't remember it was Drew.

Jason said...

Kawika Mitchell is a Bill
Kris Jenkins is a Jet
Todd Collins is still a backup QB

JAMMQ said...

Wow, that hole left by Brandon Lloyd's departure is getting filled might well.

Do the Chiefs have to buy Law a new wheelchair?

Robert Ullman said...

Anybody else think it's hilarious that Allen Rossum was signed by the 49ers, the only team against whom he had a good game last season? Those guys are so hapless...I can't believe how fearsome they used to be.

Robut M. Nixon said...

mmm, Kris Jenkins.

Now bring me Alan Faneca and I'll be happy.

Spinning Newspaper Injures Printer

Rally Monkey Spanker said...

Brady Quinn thinks Horse Balls is a fag, and he'll tell him to his face if he ever sees him in Quinn's favorite gay bar.

Bills finally get a SB ring!! But only one.

And Blig Blen sill no have tarr leceiva.

Marmatard said...

Are you sure Bruschi isn't half-Polynesian? That's what I've always assumed.

It explains why he and Seau almost got it on at the Super Bowl.

KC Cal said...

Replacing Brandon Lloyd with DJ Hackett is like replacing Vinny Testeverde with Trent Green. One is slightly younger but still as useless.

Big Jim Slade said...

AT ROBT. ULLMAN COLON

And the Bills going after Mitchell makes sense, he all but single-handedly destroyed them when they met last season.

18-1 said...

HOT TIP: The Patriots just signed Brian Urlacher to a four year deal that begins March 1, 2011! They hope to have a deal finalized with Paul Posluszny soon to take over when Urlacher's contract runs up.

quiet strength said...

Wow...Troy Williamson and Jerry Porter team up with Matt Jones and Reggie Williams?? Look out AFC South!

Rally Monkey Spanker said...

@ Marmatard:

Are you sure they didn't? I could have sworn there was some crossing of swords on the sideline.

Marmatard said...

Who really knows. But for that brief moment I was very hot and bothered.

Otto Man said...

I miss Ty Law.

And now I will too. Goddammit, Peterson.

BEHM777 said...

D J Hackett? Man you guys HAVE NO IDEA how much I miss Bobby Beathard. Why can't Dan "The Mad A$$hatter" Snyder just fire Vinny "The Cat in the A$$hat" Cerrato and hire a (expletive deleted, but it means "fornicating") general manager? Never mind, he'll probably make Cruise the freakin' GM.

TECH SUPPORT!!!

M.C. said...

Madieu Williams will open some eyes.

SportsWrap

dickey simpkins said...

Pats fans can say peace to Asante.