Monday, February 25, 2008

Michael Wilbon Is So Much Better Than You, It’s Disgusting


Continuing the Kornheiser theme today, I was driving in to work today listening to his radio show when Michael Wilbon phoned in to chat on the air, as he frequently does. In the span of five minutes, Wilbon said he wasn’t a fan of Jon Stewart or “comic people who are politically edgy”, said Roger Federer “didn’t do it” for him, declared “No Country For Old Men” to be a lazy film (but not before botching its title), and said he hated all the Academy Award nominated films this year.

I’ve vaguely hinted at this before, but I think it’s time to put subtlety aside and bust open the haterade officially.

Michael Wilbon is a fucking HUGE douchebag.

Yeah, I know he’s probably the most well-liked person in the industry. That’s great. Good for him. It must be because all the other journos are in awe of his breathtaking casual arrogance. This guy is the Reggie Nelson of sportswriters. Is there nothing on Earth Wilbon cannot simply dismiss with a wave of his hand? Found “No Country” lazy, did you, Wilbon? Well, then it must be so! I thought I was watching “Meet The Spartans”, it was so half-assed! Charles Barkely hated it too, so he must be right! You know him a little bit, right Wilbon?

But hey, what do I know? I’m just a sports fan. And, as you know, if there’s anything Wilbon hates in this world, it’s the common sports fan. Do you like the NFL Draft? Well, Wilbon thinks you’re a fucking simpleton. Thought Wilbon was a little cold about Sean Taylor’s death? Well then, you’re obviously one of these braindead homers who doesn’t understand the principal tenets of journalism. You’re obviously just some Pollyanna who never likes to see his team criticized. There’s no in-between at all! Are you a blogger? Oh, then you obviously are some horrible, predatory rumormonger. You aren’t fit to play act with heads on sticks like a real reporter!

I used to think it was cute when Wilbon called everyone knuckleheads at PTI’s signoff. Except it isn’t a joke. He really DOES think you are a knucklehead, and that you, Joe Sports Fan, are nothing more a beer-swilling retard who is incapable of making decisions for yourself. I bet you liked “No Country For Old Men,” you lazy fucking sheep. Michael Wilbon can’t express his disdain for you highly enough.

Well, I’ve had enough. Wilbon’s gotten a free pass for too long. You’re going right on the douchebag list, Mikey, right between Simmons and that dude from Maroon 5. Am I surprised you’re a preening asswipe? Not in the least.

39 comments:

Christmas Ape said...

Drew's really trying to get a 2-minute segment on PTI today.

twoeightnine said...

and that you, Joe Sports Fan, are nothing more a beer-swilling retard who is incapable of making decisions for yourself.

Why does he have to single out JSF? I mean I know that they're way too into wrestling but the Hoosier fan and Worthless Cards are on point. Screw you Wilbon.


(yes I know)

The Last Unitard said...

Just like all good things, the popularity of PTI and their subsequent increase in visibility have irrefutably enschwaggened Kornheiser and Wilbon.

Harry Ballzana said...

All right Drew, fine you can have it your way...lets make PTI an all cracka show and add Woody Paige to the mix!

Citizen 10Cane said...

I think Drew would make an excellent Stat Boy.

quiet strength said...

Please please please tell me Cowherd is next. Please? Pretty please? The biggest douche of them all...well, except Simmons...

SCS said...

What's funny about Wilbon dismissing No Country for Old Men is that he has AWFUL taste in television and music. On Kornheiser's show, he often declares his love for Elton John and Celine Dion, and on PTI his tv picks often are Boston Legal and those TNT "We know dramas" starring Kyra Sedgwick and Glenn Close. Yeah, Wilbon: I'm going to listen to you about what to watch.

Otto Man said...

I know he’s probably the most well-liked person in the industry.

That's the faintest praise since "you don't sweat much for a fat chick."

Otto Man said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
SonOfSpam said...

If Mozart wasn't so damn lazy, his Don Giovanni opera would have included more arias (ariae?) in B Major.

quiet strength said...

Wilbon is a big fan of Jay Sherman's work though.

Tech N9ne's Tribute to Falco said...

Quite frankly, this may be the best lampooning of a sports journalist I've ever seen!

/Crunches on my cheez doodles

@Ballzana: I think we all would rather have Farrakahn than Wilbon.

@10Cane: Aren't you a fan of Hillary Clinton?

Unsilent Majority said...

I still love you Wilbon, even if you do refuse to watch Seinfeld and love awful music.

Grimey said...

It probably didn't help that No Country For Old Men had less black people in it than Major League

Clutch Is Everything said...

I hate Wilbon. He's always whining about East Coast Bias but he does the same with his sorry ass town Chicago and the Midwest. HYPOCRITE !!

From the other side of town said...

I wonder if Mike could name his favorite Harold's Chicken Shack? Or has he really become so above it all that he refuses to admit that he once loved that greasy greatness.

Gern said...

Wilbon is a good straight man (I use the term very loosely) for Tony on PTI. I have a problem with the way he utilizes the race card all the time for no reason. It really bothered me when he jumped on the White Sox bandwagon when he is supposedly such a Cubs' fan. This is actually a good indicator of what kind of journalist he is, pretty wishy washy, never takes an edgy position, etc. As for No Country for Old Men, I hate to agree with him. The first two-thirds of the movie were great, and the last third sucked donkey balls. Overall good flick, they shoulda finished it off the right way though.

A Fly Moses said...

at least he doesn't name drop all the time. oh wait, he just compared his basketball acumen to that of chaz barkley and bill walton on pti. nevermind.

Hank Wackman said...

I think I once heard Wilbon call the New Deal a "huge waste of everyone's time" and call FDR "a punk".

Disclosure: I take lots of acid.

BEHM777 said...

I buried Wilbon after that garbage he wrote after Sean Taylor was shot. He just wanted to be the first one out there saying what he said because he was black and and authority on those kind of things, e.g., young, rich & black athletes staying too close to the 'hood. Right--like Sean Taylor still lived in the 'hood. He wrote some of the most racist garbage I've EVER seen from a free black man and believe me, we know how to hate us some Negro folk!

My man Eugene Robinson said be patient until all the facts were in and his approach was correct. that is the difference between a true journalist and a self-righteous, self-absorbed talking head. I am sorry Wilbon had the heart attack, but if I were a pro athlete he'd NEVER get an interview with me. He is about one more screw up from getting the Ray Lewis Treatment. Of course, we'd all drown in the resulting tsunami of Massengil, but it would be a small sacrifice.

/Got SCUBA?

LewDog said...

I am confused. I would have thought Big Daddy Drew and Wilbon would have played in the same sandbox. Being that Wilbon hates everything and plays the race card, while Drew hates everything and plays the fat card. kindred spirits no? It vexes me. I'm terribly vexed.

Keep up the good work KSK.

Paterno Lives! said...

i live in dc and followed this thing, wilbon is saying "i told you so" and then hiding behind that dick comment by saying "i'm here to tell people the truth, to have these discussions!"

but he's not haveing any discussions, he's just telling everyone he saw it comming, which makes him a dick b/c we aren't talking about football, we are talking about death.

Five Pound Bag said...

Is this jihad against the Post week at KSK? When is the screed against Andy Beyer coming for his bullshit Speed Numbers that make it easy for me to lose money gambling?

JohnDewar said...

Welcome to what those of us outside of DC already knew.

Robut M. Nixon said...

@clutch is everything:

Took the words right out of my mouth.

I love how he bitches about the Yanks and the Sawx, but then wants to spend an entire PTI segment on some irrelevant Cubs-Brewers series in the middle of June. Here's an idea: how about we all agree that baseball is for guys who weren't tough enough to make the soccer team and move on?

Thomas said...

At least Wilbon has an opinion and can go negative, as opposed to Mr. Smiley Face Thomas Boswell

Jim said...

"Is this jihad against the Post week at KSK?"

Man, if Tony Kornheiser counts as a Post columnist, then so do Donald Rumsfeld and John Ashcroft. They're more productive, on a byline-by-byline basis.

Brian said...

You are right on the money with your assessment of that droopy dog looking clown.

The fact that he is a voter for the NFL Hall of Fame makes me sick since he really does not know football or the NFL and he brings his shitbag attitiude along for any discussion.

I will say that when it comes to the NBA he knows his stuff but other than that he sucks.

Plus, he almost ran me over at Rio in Gaithersburg 2 summers ago and flicked me off when I yelled at him(and called him a fat droopy eyed piece of shit but what does that matter)

Citizen 10Cane said...

@tech n9ne: Out of the three candidates left, yeah.
I also find PTI entertaining, so take this all with a grain of salt.

Tom Brady's Man Chowder said...

There's only one guy from Maroon 5 on the douchebag list?

Undead Zombie Horde said...

Ever since Cowherd and Wilbon's opinions on the Sean Taylor murder I have not watched, listened to, or read a single thing coming out of Bristol. Not one. And ya know what? I like sports more now. I don't listen to morons screaming over each other about bullshit.

Brotankhamen said...

Two words: Celine Dion

Schlom said...

I don't know if No Country For Old Men was lazy or not, but I do know that it sucked. It was totally boring. Movies are supposed to be entertaining, not filled with coffee house faux-intellectualism that only seems intelligent to idiot college students.

anvari said...

chalk me up as another diehard sportsfan and washingtonian who will probably never forgive wilbon (or feinstein, or shapiro, or 98% of the rest of the washington post) for their nonsense after the sean taylor murder.

lots of good comments on this post and in this thread.

sad thing is we're all sheep and will still watch those two clowns on PTI regardless.

theblogshark said...

seems like there are a lot of wilbon haters here. his job is to give opinions, so calm down ... you're not going to agree with everything.

compare him with all the other talking heads on espn and in the media ... do you really think he's even near "douchebag" territory? please.

Undead Zombie Horde said...

Of course the Shrutebag is worse, but you can't defend a person just by comparing them to someone worse.

"Sure Pol Pot was a dick, but he's no Hitler. Therefore I still like him."

BEHM777 said...

+5 undead zombie horde

Ahh, the beauty of simple logic...

5PercentBodyFat said...

I got a chance to meet Wilbon a couple of times, and I have to say he's a pretty cool dude. Not only that, but his size alone at 6'4 gives him that sort of "agree with me, or I'll kick your ass" presence.

I'm from D.C. and I liked Wilbon almost my whole entire life except for maybe the past two years, when he started acting pompous (ex. Sean Taylor )and thinking that he's better than others, especially ppl of the hip hop generation. I emailed him and he never responded, I asked him to stop hating so much .

Our only hope is that he gets old really quick, and becomes an old hag. It seems like ppl tolerate young people talking crap because of their coolness, but with old ppl we just send them out to pasture.

Chris said...

just another jealous blogger hating on someone who is clearly better than him. Good luck with the site bro, its fantastic. Really. It is.