Friday, August 3, 2007

Good news everyone, I don’t have to watch Big Love on Sunday night this week

If you’re like us, you have been jonesin’ for real football for months now. The real shit, the kind, not that Europa or arena crap. We need the genuine article-- nothing but mainlining some uncut NFL will do. Starting Sunday, the fiends can get their fix.

Steelers and Saints. NFL Network. Prayers will be answered.

We are so starved for football that we will ignore the fact that these games are less than meaningless and possess merely the verisimilitude of an actual athletic competition. We know that EMTs probably scraped more of Ben Roethlisberger off that windshield than we will actually see on the field Sunday... and we are fine with that.

Because we are so freaking starved for NFL action, we will sit through the dog-and-pony show of undrafted rookies who have no shot of making a team south of the Canadian border with big, stupid grins on our faces. We pretend that what some scout team defensive tackle does will have implications stretching into the playoffs. We ignore the fact it is hotter than dogcrotch right now, and no one in their right mind should be playing football in that stuff. As long as we can watch.

KSK is often (rightfully) accused of being negative and snarky. But this week, motivated by the return of the game we love, we’ve made an effort to extend olive branches to former enemies. In that vein, one of our favorite whipping boys has long been Baltimore. Our observations on Charm City have, on occasion, been less than flattering. In that spirit, we want to say something nice about Baltimore. Namely, they have a couple of fine-ass cheerleaders. Enjoy the weekend.


Unsilent Majority said...


Reggie Bush is going to tear every ligament he's got.

Otto Man said...

I'm with you on this one.

I treat the preseason like Navin Johnson welcomes the new phone books.

liquid_d said...

otto, that reference totally made it worth coming to work today.

And thank jebus that there is football on sunday.

grungedave said...

is there going to be no commentary on the Blogger FFL draft??

twoeightnine said...

They can't be native Baltimoreans. I'm guessing they're all from Delaware.

TurleyGirlie said...

How hot, exactly, is dogcrotch?

And, P.S. GEAUX Saints. (Not that it matters. At all. But I'm starved.)

Mr Furious said...

What was this post about again?

Number 1 and 3 are the same chick, right? I'm going strictly by the cleavage...

Hottest cheerleader you've posted in my opinion.

Can my vacation spot be the Raven's cheerleader locker room?

Wow. Just, wow.

Big Daddy Drew said...

"is there going to be no commentary on the Blogger FFL draft??"

Do you really want any? I got Larry Johnson! Isn't that interesting?

Rob I said...

Big Love is on Monday nights.

Unless you're referring to the repeats which are on every night.

I'm an ass.

grungedave said...

FFL drafts and analysis interest me... what can I say!

LJ, hmmm, I guess you didn't get the Rule of 370 memo from the Football Outsiders guys?

Otto Man said...

Yeah, I'd read a post on the FFL draft. It'll keep me from obsessing about my own for a few minutes at least.

Nathan said...

Preseason gets me the same way every year. I refuse to watch it because it's pointless and then I end up watching it because it's football.

devang said...

I really don't care much for FFL. Not in any leagues, never had the inclination or motivation to be in one.Does that make me a bad person?

Big Daddy Drew said...

Something about it should be on Yahoo later today. Here were my picks:

1. (5) Larry Johnson RB
2. (20) Chad Johnson WR
3. (29) Terrell Owens WR
4. (44) Thomas Jones RB
5. (53) Tony Romo QB
6. (68) Julius Jones RB
7. (77) Jeremy Shockey TE
8. (92) Brandon Jackson RB
9. (101) Greg Jennings WR
10. (116) Alex Smith QB
11. (125) Devery Henderson WR
12. (140) Anthony Thomas RB
13. (149) Matt Jones WR
14. (164) Jacksonville DEF
15. (173) Jason Elam K

I hate my team.

Unsilent Majority said...

I got Dreamboat and Sex Cannon


Grimey said...

Drew, I think anyone who doesn't live in Texas or Mexico hates your team.

Otto Man said...

I actually like that squad, Drew. I've got the five spot in my draft, so I know what you had available there.

The early picks are iffy, for sure. LJ is a risk, not from the holdout but from the wear and tear of last season; but not bad at 5. Ocho Cinco is solid, but underperforms.

After that, you got some steals -- TO in 3, Thomas Jones in 4, Jackson in 8, etc. I love the Jags D that late, they should be top five. And Romo makes me nervous, but I think he puts up good numbers, and Alex Smith is a great backup.

Buck up, li'l camper.

Wormfather said...

It's about to be shark week in my pants.

Big Daddy Drew said...

+1 grimey

I'm very excited at the prospect of having to pick up Michael Bennett and start him in Week 5.

lieutenant winslow said...

oh COME ON flubby. i'd fuck margine 6 ways from sunday. i wont even mention what i'd do to the oldest daughter. suffice it to say that it involves an eight ball, a spatula and a box of whippets.

Otto Man said...

Bennett might not be the backup. Keep an eye on Derrick Ross, a refugee from NFL Europa.

farris said...

You forgot the hours I've devoted to CFL coverage on Comcast Sports recently.

Jackin'4Beats said...

It's about to be shark week in my pants

Now that's funny and totally understandable after seeing those tit-tays.

Thanks flubby for getting the weekend started early.

grungedave said...

As a dormant Oilers fan, I hate your team, too, Drew. Jeez, you got enough f'n Cowboys on the team?!?!?

and 7 dudes with a last name of "J"? That calls for a new team name!

Otto Man said...

Good point, Grungedave.

How about the J-Dog? It's, you know, street language.

The thing about the J-Dog is you can't put a leash on the J-Dog.

Shoopmonster said...


Just kidding.

Jarrett Carter said...

Say that to my man Terrell 'T-Sizzle' Suggs face about B-More.

He'll probably agree and then transform into Beetlejuice.

B said...

Finally a little love for Baltimore. Not that I expect it to last of course.
This plus the article I read today that mentions an insane plan by Rex Ryan to line up Haloti Ngata as an inside linebacker and fire him like a 340 pound cannonball at whatever poor bastard quarterback happens to be across the line makes me feel all fuzzy inside.

Libertariot said...

I guess those Ravens' cheerleaders go to the games in Chris McAllister's big ass Transformers truck.

TJI said...

Do the cheerleaders transform into anything?

J-Red said...

Let's try not to put "cheerleader" and "transformer" in the same sentence. It makes me think of Eddie Murphy-like surprises.

As an unfortunate Comcast subscriber, I will be unable to watch tonight's game. Comcast is having a pissing match with just about every cable company and channel on Earth.

Drizztdj said...

I have much hate for Comcast blacking out the NFL network.