Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Remaining Vick co-defendants accept plea agreements


Mike Vick co-defendants Purnell Peace and Quanis Phillips will reportedly appear in court later this week to formally accept guilty plea agreements. This would leave Ookie as the sole remaining defendant. In legal parlance, Vick has gone from being merely fucked to supreme mega-fucked 5000.

ESPN reports Vick is considering taking a plea himself to avoid additional federal charges. At this point, a trial seems unlikely. Vick should start preparing himself for incarceration. Any man loses his spoon spends a night in the box, or so we hear.


29 comments:

Camp Tiger Claw said...

Throwing off your back foot, spend a night in the box.

Giving a woman herpes under a retarded pseudonym, spend a night in the box.

Electrocuting a dog in the prone position, spend a night in the box.

lieutenant winslow said...

still though, aside from going to the clink in canada, minimum security club fed is probably the least ass-rapiest of all north american prisons.

Metz said...

Any man playing grabass or fightin' in the building spends a night in the box

Big Daddy Drew said...

Will he be cast down with the sodomites?

I hear it's like being fucked by a train.

Chris said...

Your ever run backwards through a corn field naked?

Jarrett Carter said...

I wonder will scouts come to the games where he leads the inmates to a rough and tumble victory over the guards.

Metz said...

You run for your first three seasons, you got yourself called the future of the NFL.
You run for your second three seasons, you got yourself called a coach killer.
You ain't going to need no seventh season, cause the feds gonna get your mind right . . .

Wormfather said...

I'm dissapointed, I really thought this would be cause for at least 2 more episodes of "The off-season adventures of Mike Vick

Pemulis said...

If you hit a man, in time his wounds will heal. If you steal from a man, you can replace what you've stolen. But always cross in the green, never in between. Because the honorable Elijah Muhammed Ali floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee. And always remember my brother, one fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish, knick knack, paddy whack, give a dog a bone, two thousand, zero, zero, party, oops! Out of time, my bacon smellin' fine.

The Pirate Sloth said...

I don't want him to plea! I want him to go to trial! I want every football game I watch to have the announcers re-hash all the details of the entire case. I want to see Melissa Stark brought back to camp out in front of Ookie's house, giving us that vital look into the case. I want to hear Madden, Jaws, Gumble, Costas, Buck, Marino, Carter, Barber, etc ALL give their opinions of whats going on with the case every week.

I don't want to actually watch football week after week, I'd rather hear about Vick. My season wouldn't be complete without it.

My Insignificant Life said...

Welcome to prison, Mr. Vick. By the way, in here, rape stands are optional. Have a nce day.

Hooks Orpik said...

So much for Snitches getting Stitches...Vick's boys folded quick and now he has no choice but to plea.

Jackin'4Beats said...

I guess Vick won't have to worry about getting the train run on him with the whole Herpes thing goin' on, but it won't matter if a lifer gets a hold of him.

"Ookie...you can run but ya cain't hide. Now, when I say, 'Who's da mastah?' you say, 'Sho'nuff!'"

Chuck said...

So, in the future at one particular federal prison, will "spend a night in the box" come to mean "spend the night with your dick up Mike Vick's ass"?

My Insignificant Life said...

Marcus Vick - Hey Ookie - on your first day in prison, kick someone's ass otherwide you'll be someone's bitch.

Judge - Mr. Vick, I hereby sentence you to 5 years in a federal pound me in the ass prison.

Marcus Vick - Hey man, watch your corn hole

Awful Chief said...

It's going to take a whole lot of cigarettes to trade for the #7 prisoner number.

jmorrisking said...

There goes my fantasy football team "Fried Green Chihuahuas"

SlickBomb said...

I'm not sure Vick will go to jail if he pleads guilty. It'll probably be an outrageous fine, probation, community service, and an agreement to speak out more on those issues (attached to a demand that he tells them everything about dogfighting across the USA). Eitherway, I hope the Falcons are ready for the Joey Harrington experience.

SlickBomb said...

Winslow, of course, correct me if I'm wrong.

My Insignificant Life said...

He is so F'd - figuratively and soon to be literally. Anyone facing a new "superseding" indictment is so F'd, you cannot imagine. It is worse than double secret probation.

http://www.ajc.com/sports/content/sports/falcons/stories/2007/08/14/vick_0815.html?cxntlid=homepage_tab_newstab

JAMMQ said...

Odds are at least 3:5 that at least one of Vick's friends has worn a "stop snitching" t-shirt at least once in their lives.

Talk is cheap, bitches, once the law comes.

You get charged in federal court you are F-U-C-K-E-D.

Maybe this could inspire the finale for HBO's Entourage, where all the hangers on mooch off the star, help him do illegal shit, then sell his ass out once the law comes.

Guarantee you that today every NFL player is scrutinizing all his hangers-on, wondering if they would squeal on them like Vick's "boys" are.

j_brock said...

@slickbomb

Miss Vicki will almost certainly do time. And likely in a federal pound-me-in-th-ass prison. I'm sure his lawyers are hoping a plea will reduce his sentence from 2-3 years to less than a year. Keep in mind that these are only the federal dogfighting charges. He is likely going to face animal cruelty charges in Virginia and potentially felony gambling charges as well.

twoeightnine said...

This gives a whole new meaning to stacking 8 men in the box.

Chris said...

I just had a buddy sent to the federal pen outside Memphis. Its not a cake walk, especially when you pull kitchen duty and fuck everything up. Also you have to remember that whatever your sentence is in federal court thats what you will do. No parole for good behavior.

My Insignificant Life said...

Now Vick is in some real deep shit. He's being sued for some big bucks.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,293268,00.html

AND

http://www.foxnews.com/projects/pdf/riches_jonathan_file.pdf

Can it get any worse??

The Pirate Sloth said...

You're shitting me? A $63,000,000,000 lawsuit? For those incapable of comprehending that many zero's - it's a $63 Billion lawsuit - alleging ties to Al Queda? That dude is fucking loony.

grungedave said...

The prosecutors wouldn't offer a plea deal that doesn't involve actual jail time. After the Paris Hilton fiasco and based on the publicity this has gotten, Ookie is fuxored. He's looking at 6 months at least of hard time.

My Insignificant Life said...

yep, that's billion with a B.

I posted the article because I wouldn't believe it either.

Jackin'4Beats said...

Of course Fox News would actually post an article to something that fucking stupid. That inmate should be in the looney bin ward taking his meds for dumbass-itis.