Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Steely McLovin Is An Organ Donor


I went to the Steelers/Redskins game Saturday with the D.C. contingent of that disparate collective that is Steelers fandom at the fetid and unwieldly hovel that is FedEx Field. Despite having our group mooned by a 'Skins fan in a Randle El jersey, being feet away from two 'Skins fans getting into a fist fight and still not getting ejected (said another of the Raljon, Md. faithful: "We just like to scrap.") we lucked out that we didn't have to deal with the Dead Tree Crew and, even more fortuitously, we didn't see Steely motherfucking McBeam.

We would have torn him to yellow, simpering ribbons.

KSK Photoshoppeur Dan V. apparently finds amusement rather than thoughts of malevolence in the five o'clock shadowy, swishy figure that is Steely. In a series of pics that's bound to ruin my season unless the Steelers win the Super Bowl, he draws back the sallow, lacy curtain on the seedy doings of Mr. McBeam.





Did you know that Steely is Karl Rove's father?

This offseason was much more pleasant when its gayest subplot was Brady Quinn being pictured in the most compromising ways imaginable. It seems these actions only served to sow the seeds of Steely. You've inspired a monster, Brady.

It's a contagion that's sweeping the AFC North entire, even causing sworn enemies to act out in bizarre, unsettling ways.

Oh. God. No.

22 comments:

Pemulis said...

Steely McLemonParty

Illegal Immigrant said...

You know, for everything we're paying here, I'd like to see some production value. You know, maybe some editing, some transitions. A little music maybe.

Unsilent Majority said...

nicely done II

El Duffo O Muerte said...

I thought it was supposed to be designed after Bill Cowher, but it looks like Kordell to me.

Dale said...

I don't know, Kordell was always the catching type. As I've clearly demonstrated, Steely is far more serial-anal-rapist than twink.

El Duffo O Muerte said...

@Dale
True. if Steely was Kordell he would've spent roughly 59 minutes thrusting into Ned Beatty's left butt cheek before finally sealing the deal with 45 seconds left.

Awful Chief said...

sqill lok ah piwg, bahy!

Calvin's got a job said...

I cock blocked Steely McLovin

Matt said...

Kordell: Definitely a catcher.

JAMMQ said...

The Charminy-soft edge to the Steel Curtain finally exposed.

Jack Lambert spun right out of his grave this morning.

Lizzy said...

Brilliant.

I'm BEGGING for a Return of the Sex Cannon entry today after last night's debacle...

grungedave said...

If Steely McLovin thinks Brady Quinn is buying him beer, he's sadly mistaken... Brady only buys cosmopolitans.

BeaverFever said...

This has nothing to do with Steely Mc, but I saw that the Jags cut Tim Couch. He must feel like a dick, even more so that 50 yr old Vinny Testaverde was signed by the Pats. After the Sex cannon's performance last night, maybe the Bears will sign Couch.

Otto Man said...

I loved Kornheiser's pregame rant about how people say Manning is brilliant even when he makes mistakes and Grossman is a lucky moron when he completes a pass.

Well timed, my friend. Well timed.

Matt said...

Why go sign Couch when you have Kyle Orton, baby?

K-Rock said...

for anyone who cares, peter king was just doing his weekly call-in to WEEI, the sports radio station in boston and made this comment

"I remember being 6 years old and my father taking me to fenway park, seeing the green monster, smelling the fresh cut grass, tasting the golden mustard"

apparently PK skips the hot dogs and just downs the mustard, what a fat mess

BeaverFever said...

I'm surprised he noticed anything but food.

Claude Balls said...

Steely McBeam is only the second gayest mascot in the NFL. That little fairy in New Orleans who prances and twirls his parasol when the Saints win is so much Charles Nelson Reilly-er.

What, that's the owner? Tom Benson? Quit bullshitting, there's no fucking way.

Seriously?

rick grayshock said...

If that Browns fan in the picture caves and holds hands with those two his Browns Fan License is revoked!

playmaker-27 said...

Just because Tim Couch is one of my hero's doesn't mean I suck----I can't help it he was drafted by that bunch of Cockrats, the Cleveland Browns Redux.

mB

J.L. White said...

There is only one thing that makes pictures of men in mid-orgasm more gay, and that is Steely McBeam.

beau singleton said...

steeley Mcbeam get over it, quit whining and get with your team. if it offends you that much your not a true steelers fan afterall. get behind it and yell it and wave the towell, it'l grow to huge proportions