Monday, August 20, 2007

life, liberty and the pursuit of construda

After some Facebook pictures and excerpts surfaced on KSK this summer, the legend of Koolaid Maroney has grown exponentially. Yet time has done little to decode Koolaid’s secrets of life. We wash our ass religiously, yet we still haven't divined the mysteries behind ‘begul shitting’ or, more importantly, ‘construda.’

Frankly, we think our readers in New England are slacking on this one. Surely one of you underemployed slackers has had the opportunity to ask Maroney about construda. Koolaid has probably been asked about his increased role after the retirement of Corey Dillon a thousand freaking times already. Enough already. Someone ask something we actually want to know. If Ryan or Shaughnessy are reading this remember, one of you old bastards could land a Pulitzer over this.

In the meantime, Urban Dictionary has some suggestions, including our own, but none seem truly authoritative. Alas, the search continues.


17 comments:

j_brock said...

My fantasy team name is "Pass the Contruda"

j_brock said...

Miss Vicki will get no construda in prison

Pemulis said...

maybe it's a secret new Kool-Aid flavor he's working on and planning on begulling to the world any day now.

flubby said...

Caretaker says they make jailhouse construda in the terlet when the screws aren't looking.

j_brock said...

But jailhouse construda tastes like deodorant and socks

Murderface said...

Ookie's gonna have to keister a whole hell of a lot of construda to bribe his way out of having to fight to fight another inmate to death for amusement and wagering at the behest of the dog-loving-serial-killer-with-a-heart-of-gold-and-sense-of-poetic-justice-for-canines.

j_brock said...

I smell a movie. Starring Omar Epps as Vick, with John Malcovich as the serial killer, and Ving Rhames as the inmate who takes Vick under his wing. Oscars all around.

Weed Against Speed said...

Isn't a construda a large snake?

Wormfather said...

Yeah, ok, cool...

In other news, we need an update in "The Off-season Adventures of Michael Vick"

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20350573/

The Last Unitard said...

Construda is clearly the Bubonic Chronic.

The Pirate Sloth said...

Bah, I was wondering if it was you guys who added a construda definition.

Unsilent Majority said...

construda is an old wooden ship from the civil war era

Raskolnikov said...

Internet Balderdash?

Construda is the less popular tourist island near Bermuda.

chiboyinla said...

I still have not figured out the construda, but for the past few months I have been chasing the cheese instead of the hoes, and it is working quite nicely for me.

BigRicks said...

Just sitting here waiting for the adventures of Michael Vick: The Plea Bargain. Good times await us all!

sorry for the pressure, I just have nothing else to do with my time at the office.

MannysHeadStash said...

Construda is...what is it, when you punish criminals in days of yore?

"You mean the stocks, or a pillary?"

Yes, that's it.

TheAntiFollicle said...

The Chronicles of Ookie:

The Lying, the Snitch, and the Plea Bargain