Tuesday, August 28, 2007

KSK 2007 NFL Season Prekkake: Philadelphia Eagles

Donovan McNabb's unfortunate file photo

An arbitrary number of fast facts on the Philadelphia Eagles...

  • Donovan McNabb was super pissed when he opened the media guide and saw that Kevin Kolb's middle name is Kyle.
  • Not to be outdone, Andy Reid's kids have begun staging Persian cat fights in their drained jacuzzi.
  • Jevon Kearse and Correll Buckhalter share a single pair of knees.
  • Jeremiah Trotter says he's just 30 years-old but dendrochronologists insist that he's at least 52.
  • Sean Considine looks like he'd enjoy a ham sandwich on Wonder Bread slathered in Miracle Whip washed down with a tall glass of milk.
  • Chunky Soup is made out of the McNabb family's collective excreta.
  • Philly's backup tight ends form the city's nineteenth most popular barbershop quartet--George Harrison's ghost finds them derivative.
  • Chris Berman has spent several sleepless nights debating the pros and cons of various nicknames for Chris Gocong--each is more insufferable than the last.
  • Max Jean-Gilles is pregnant with triplets.
  • Jean-Gilles tried to eat Uga VI on two non-consecutive occasions--poor guy's still scared to leave his house.
  • Dedrick Roper refuses to answer all questions relating to Three's Company.

And now--because I've run out of shit to talk about--here's a video of rather raucous tailgate featuring every Eagle fan you've ever met. It should keep hold your attention for precisely 64 seconds (much like the rest of this post!).



Don't worry folks, the season's almost here.

P.S. Fuck Da Eagles

34 comments:

3000 said...

What the motherfucking sweet Jesus of balls?!? That is naaaasty.

Mike Murray said...

So I sit down to my pasta lunch, open up KSK and see... ugh. Thanks for ruining a perfectly great meal.

Unsilent Majority said...

It's just a little regurgitated it's still good, it's still good!

SportsGirl365 said...

I'll take the under on how many minutes it'll take for Drew to post something just so that pic isn't at the top of the site.

kriswood417 said...

That's a terrible picture of Bjork. I hope she's ok.

Matt said...

Holy. Shit.

Matt said...

+1 kris.

JAMMQ said...

Wow! Giants fans everywhere breathe a sigh of relief to know they are not the most classless fans in the league.

Just the second most.

Ken Dynamo said...

that picture reminds me of one of the first video i remeber watching on the internet. back in college when high speed hook ups were rare and before the internet was used for anything remotely usefull i got this big file in my inbox entitled 'fuckingstopalready'It starts with an asian woman eating a bunch of slop out of a huge bowl. after about 2 minutes of chugging she starts barfing back into the bowl. thats when you notice the woman's barf is the exact same consistancy of the slop already in the bowl. after she finishes puking she goes right back to chugging. thats when i started fast forwarding thru the 30 minute movie and realized where the file name came from. good times.

Chris said...

Jesus, I am not sure which fan base is trashier, Eagles or Raiders.

twoeightnine said...

Is that why they cut Trotter?

el_hombre said...

Max Jean-Gilles is a gorilla.

Oops.

twoeightnine said...

Trashier? Eagles fans. It's not even close. Not only are they trash, they don't understand anything about football.

Wormfather said...

@Kris

That was so funny I spat my water.

@Ken

for the love of god man! Dont share everything. The story by its self is bad enough but not right after I've been shown a picture to reference.

devang said...

Why is the Maj in a bad mood? Jason Campbell blow out his knee?

Otto Man said...

Donovan McNabb was super pissed when he opened the media guide and saw that Kevin Kolb's middle name is Kyle.

Rush Limbaugh, however, chortled with delight.

Assuming, of course, you can still chortle when you're on enough OxyContin to kill a horse.

El Duffo O Muerte said...

@Devang
It's because he just read about punter's foreskin on deadspin.

devang said...

@all

The Maj has a nice apology for us. Check the newer post.

Chamomiles Davis said...

twoeightnine,

We are smart enough to understand the Bills are going to fucking blow chunks... again. Enjoy your season.

Awful Chief said...

Slow day at Radio Shack, Clint?

Otto Man said...

They must've finally banned him from the store, Chief.

They were cool with him wearing the tin foil hat, but when he denounced the batteries for sending him mind control messages, well, that was the last straw.

Jared said...

God I so hate the Eagles and the have the worst fuckin fans ever to such air or cock

The Pirate Sloth said...

This video made me wonder why I've dated white women my whole life. But at least they haven't been from Philly, except that one girl...

Slash said...

I'm sorry for what I'm about to type, but when you're insulting someone, do a quick spellcheck before you hit Publish, OK? Because it kinda ruins the effect when others have to say: "such air"? What the fuck does that mean? Oh, "or cock." So it's "suck air or cock." And "the have".... OK, "they have." And technically, "fuckin" should have an apostrophe after it.

Just sayin'. Everybody's thinking it...

Slash said...

Yeah, I got through about 64 seconds of the video... so Eagles fans are trashy white people who stand around and chant and attempt to dance?

And the Bjork reference was awesome.

Lionel McClure said...

Aw, is someone (the maj) a little upset that his favorite team hasn't been relevant for 15 years (excluding the fluke that was the 2005 season)? The vast majority of NFL fans are drunk, slutty idiots, not just the ones from Philly.

Unsilent Majority said...

hey lionel- we have a tendency to make fun of all the teams in the NFL...the Redskins are hardly immune.

Undead Zombie Horde said...

...and last I checked the Skins have three rings. The Iggles have NOTHING! Hail!

Chamomiles Davis said...

zombie,

Is that why you dug up the corpse of Joe Gibbs to coach your team again?

Undead Zombie Horde said...

@ Chamomiles Davis

yes.

Lionel McClure said...

Maj - I didn't have a problem with the post. I just thought it was little harsh even for this site. (On second thought, no it wasn't.)

Also, like any semi-intelligent Eagles fan (believe it or not, there are a few of us) I am consistently reminded, much to my chagrin, of the mass idiocy that is my brethren.

I do enjoy a nice pick of an Asian chick vomiting every once in a while though. So thanks for that.

thope said...

ouch

Tracer Bullet said...

Philadelphia is nearly 40 percent black and they couldn't find one Eagle fan with any melenin? All that rythmless gyrating damn near gave me a seizure.

Punch Rockgroin said...

I was alright until the last thirty seconds of that video. The fat dude fondling himself was unnecessary.